Steve4AM

Facebook draining for introverts?

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   Introverts like me find social situations like talking to people at work or parties "draining", and they have to recharge.

   Often times I read Facebook, and it makes me feel bad, like everyone has it better than me.  It occurred to me that Facebook and other social networks might "drain" introverts social energy, because it is a form of interaction with people.  What do you think?

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I get what you're saying, but it doesn't drain me because when I read other's posts or how good their life is, I just retreat and stay off it for little while. Fill my time with other things, even though I get the constant texts from others regarding someone else's post lol...

I usually stick to websites like ESPN or anything sports related so I'm not sucked into the social networks like Facebook.

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   I waste lots of time on Facebook and usually leave more depressed than when I got there.  I would stop reading it but that would be a big problem for my real social life too, never knowing what's happening.  There's not really an escape from this stuff.  Here I am complaining on another website.

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I agree with you Steve, most social media just makes me feel even more isolated. I have habits of just mindlessly clicking from one site to another, half of the people I don't talk to much anymore for a lot of reasons (moving, graduating, switching jobs etc) and seeing them having fun just reaffirms that I'm not desired as a friend anyway.

 

It sucks because in my mind I know that everyone isn't having fun all the time but it makes it all the more difficult to call someone or reach out in a way that's not so superficial. 

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Hmm, I guess it's to each their own. When I see' fun posts ' of others, I usually think something like ' wow so glad i'm grown and not doing that silly stuff anymore'.  

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I think its just how you use such social networking sites. I opened my fb to be updated and also see changes with my acquaintances. Somehow, I dont feel drain because I know they did something have those kind of moments. I advice you find and create your own happiness so you wont feel drained anymore merely just by browsing networking sites. I wish you luck men.

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   I have some friends who are very successful!  Eventually it becomes painful to read all about their great lives.  happy families, good jobs, bands playing tours and fans admiring them

   there are probably people who are jealous of me, but they don't have an idea how much i really suffer, because usually i don't post it there.  should i?  nobody wants to read a bunch of depressing stuff anyway

   if i admit that i am an OCD clean freak, it's not really going to help my career path

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I used to feel the same way when I would go on it.  I do feel that most people only post the best things going on for them at the moment, so it kind of creates an unrealistic picture of (some) people on there.  It's easy to make comparisons, especially when there are some people who seem to have everything going for them.  I had a few "friends" on there that were like that.  Eventually I deactivated my facebook and I have to say that I am a lot happier for it.  I'm not suggesting you do the same, but I would say I am an introvert and did find it affected my mood negatively more than it boosted my mood.  Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.  It is true that people tend not to want to read about people's complaints on there, but I always enjoyed most the posts about how someone had a bad experience but wrote about it in a funny way. 

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yeah i know plenty of people on my facebook that display an amazing life in pictures and posts when i know theyre actually having a really tough time. If facebook makes you feel that bad then maybe take a break from it.

Noone ever posts the bad moments of their lives on facebook 

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   people's posting habits vary widely, we really don't know how a person's online live relates to reality

   some people post every bad moment of their life on Facebook!  some post every stupid thought that pops into their head.   i didn't want to be one of them.  Then again, this also means that nobody cheers me up when I feel bad, and sometimes that would be great.   i feel that very few people understand me in the whole world, and im terribly lonely, in spite of trying to act popular

   the problem is that anybody can read Facebook, even your future boss, or someone you're dating.  what will they think if they look back over your history and see a ton of ranting and complaining?  this person is really negative

   it's impossible for me to delete my facebook, id totally lose commuication with so many.  sometimes i enjoy it, but its certainly habit forming, and quite often not worth the hours of time it can occupy

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   i hate facebook, all the worthless garbage that fills my time and makes me late if I even go out at all.  all the pictures of wealth and fame that make me feel poor, all the horrible posts of doom and gloom and sickness i cant even bear to read and have to scroll past.  i hate this thing which has eaten the social life of myself and most everyone i know.  i still cannot stop, without facebook i would now be so isolated i would hardly see anyone.

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Honestly... FB is just for entertainment... you can't take it seriously ... people post things making it look like wow look at me and what I'm doing and then there are the others that are aww gee, poor poor me ... we all live life and we all know it isn't what's always shown on there.

 

Everyone has ups and downs and for those of us who suffer anxiety, depression, panic attacks it definitly is more downs then ups. It helps to remember that you are not the only one with these issues and that others are struggling just like you day after day.  If the reality of life was to be accurately pictured, then the ending in stories would be "and they did not live happily ever after"...

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   it's too bad that it's come down to this, but most of my contact with other people is now via the net.   I see my parents because I moved back here.  I see my girlfriend a few times a week when I can get out of the house.  yeah, it's amazing she's dating me, isn't it?  I hold no regular job, I see my other friends at bars and shows a couple times a week.  I watch them get trashed drunk, and I maybe have a soda, because I quit.  I have a so-so time because of my social anxiety.  I come home and obsess over that, and the internet and tv all night, and then pretend to be asleep as i am now because my dad gets pissed off at me.

   this is not the way i want to live, stuck in a cycle of pointlessness, but the internet is so addictive, and it's always on with some new stupid thing to obsess over instead of doing something important.

   i see people posting pictures of their fun in the regular world and i get really jealous, but maybe not, because i'd have to actually go outside to experience these things, and that's a tall order.

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People usually only post the good things about their lives and you don't know what they are going through in real life. There are people that I know what is going on in their real life and if you look at their facebook their life is wonderful when I know that's not really how it is. It used to make me feel bad after looking at Facebook and then I realized I am taking it too seriously and people make their lives look to be more than it is. I have deleted my account a few times just to have a break from it and I actually felt better

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People usually only post the good things about their lives and you don't know what they are going through in real life. There are people that I know what is going on in their real life and if you look at their facebook their life is wonderful when I know that's not really how it is. It used to make me feel bad after looking at Facebook and then I realized I am taking it too seriously and people make their lives look to be more than it is. I have deleted my account a few times just to have a break from it and I actually felt better

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Good for you. :p.  We have to ask seriously why we need Facebook, Twitter and the like. Communication, we say. Ah yes. On a global scale we say. Yes again. But do we and can we communicate one to another in our daily lives, our own environment? It seems not. We communicate on this site because the desire to help each other is great, but why do we need to find out what Mary Bloggs is doing in Chicago? Is there such a lack of entertainment and interest in what is going on in our immediate environment that we have to reach out all the time. Interest in what is going on in the world can become an obsession. The news! What can we do about events? Have we any real control over anything 'out there'. Hardly. We have a general election coming up in the UK and I am already sick of hearing what will happen if we elect so and so, knowing full well that very little will change. You can't change people by changing the system as the Russians found!  That has to come from within. When I hear of people driving others to harm themselves on the likes of Facebook it worries me. All we do when we use these sites is put millions in the pockets of the already rich.  I would suggest that anyone with anxiety does what you have done. Close your account. Well said KH.     Jon.

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   as i've said, i can't possibly delete my facebook.  i'm in bands, and we need that to publicize shows and stuff.  what i could do is limit myself to logging on only once or twice a day.  but a lot of people are talking over fb messenger now, so i would miss important communications in some cases.  they don't realize the insanity of this game, so the rest of it are forced to play us with them.  that's just the way the company wants it, of course.  the more ads you see, the more money they make from your personal info.

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You can make it to where you don't see some people's posts on your news feed. If there are certain people who's post bother you you can make it so you don't see their stuff and that way you can still be in there for the stuff you can't miss. You will still be friends with the person. If you wanna know what they are up to you can just go to their page when you feel you can handle whatever they write. Hope this makes sense

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Yes KH, it does. I wonder why us humans have to misuse everything we invent. Ordinary aircraft are useful for passengers; bombers are not, and so on.

 I have no doubt that Facebook and such can be useful in situations which you describe, but when misused it can be a real no no. When I suggested that anyone with anxiety should not use it I was thinking more in terms of general use rather than specific. To communicate with friends you can trust may be useful, but surely there are other ways to do that. Emails for instance? But however you communicate it must surely be on a mutually friendly basis. Why do some people get their kicks out of insulting and upsetting others? For God's sake; we spend such a short time here that if we can't be kind to each other then what the heck is it all about?      Jon.

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I'm very Introverted but I don't find it draining. Physically being around people is definitely draining for me. I do find Facebook very negative though and some people very fake. Everybody wants to portray a good happy life but it's not always as it may seem. I have a short friends list and I don't log on there much and I subscribe to positive pages so that's how I deal with the Facebook messiness.

 

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It's so refreshing to see other people write that they find being with other people draining. For such a long time I thought it was a problem I had, which it isn't - some people are energised and enjoy company and some don't.

As far as FB is concerned, I find it draining only when it becomes a time hole - which happens more if I am tired or less mindfull. I keep a FB account now only to use for my business and log in to the business page so I don't lose so much time. Maybe that would help Sam?

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I was once told that certain people can be 'vexatious to your spirit', and I have found that to be true. When in an anxiety state we are so vulnerable and will pick up the negativity from others so easily. If it's a situation we can avoid, such as being with a negative person, (You know, "you will never get over this" type), run away quickly. The longer you stay in their company the worse you will get. Don't be unkind. Just, 'sorry must go'. They can't help it because they have little understanding.

If in a work situation you can't avoid you may need to protect yourself. Enclose yourself in a golden bubble in your mind; listen and learn but take it all superficially. Allow it to bounce off your 'bubble'. Everyone has an ' image' of themselves and others. If our 'image' is knocked; got at, we get upset, put down. Some people get their kicks from putting others down. On Facebook and such sites this has led to many young people taking it so seriously that they have resorted to extreme measures.

This is sad. We should be helping each other not being critical of judgemental.           Jon.

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Steve4AM,

I kind of relate to what you are saying actually. I find a lot of social interactions incredibly draining (which is difficult in my family because they are always trying to force me to be "social" no matter how much I try to explain I can't take it), so I turn to my computer and phone a lot. I even carry a spare battery for my phone in case I drain the power and am out in public. It may sound ridiculous but it's kind of like a safety blanket I guess.

If I feel like facebook or any other social media (for me it is instagram that can get me feeling kind of down or that others have a perfect life) I close myself in my room because that feels like my safe haven and I start doing what I do best. I create something. Whether it is music or art or poetry, it serves as a wonderful outlet when I am feeling really anxious or depressed. I know everyone is different, but honestly if you share the same kind of introvert artist vibe it may work for you also? I think its important to have a healthy outlet that makes you feel good about yourself again. Anyway, just my two cents. I hope I can help someone out there.

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