Booandlou

Need some support today, please help

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Hi, so I get my blood results back tomorrow, I've spent the last week or so in an extremely high state of anxiety. My parents and my partner are having a difficult time managing me as I wake up sobbing and shaking in fear. I'm taking fluoxetine and diazepam but am nearly out of the diazepam, (they don't prescribe many generally in the UK due to risk of addiction). I can barely eat and I wake up in the night with sweats. I'm convinced I have liver damage , I can feel sensations in that area, plus now this last few days my stools are slightly lighter than normal, still brown (sorry for too much info) but slightly yellowish. Googling this has obviously said it can be food, but also liver/pancreas issues.... Could anxiety and stress cause these issues? I do have IBS as well, which is flaring I think due to the stress. But I am almost completely having a breakdown with fear and worry. Can I ask: does anyone else get so so unwell with worry over tests? Like beyond normal anxiety and completely terrified? 

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I think you know it’s your IBS. Stress and really mess up our stomachs, so I Can also see that alone causing the stool to be like that along with the sensations on your liver area.

i went through a faze where I thought that my panic attacks were going to make my adrenal glans malfunction, and those things are right with the kidneys. So when I was going through those thoughts I kept on feeling pain in my sides. I went to the ER multiple times, this is before doctor phobia, and they would tell me I was fine. I finally had gotten rid of that fear and the pains stopped.  So our minds can really make us feel the symptoms of what we fear.

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@Nutmegbella thankyou for your message, it means a lot to have someone answer me and just provide support. The fear completely takes over my life and becomes unmanageable. I'm starting to get doctor phobia too, when before I was completely obsessed with the doctors. It's so unbelievable to have your brain create exact pain where in the body your fears are concentrating such as liver/kidneys etc.  

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The fear is terrifying, relentless and exhausting.  I’m so sorry you are going through this.  I have been there myself.  I hate bloodwork, ultrasounds and mammograms.  They cause me so much stress that I don’t eat or function properly for days.  Oddly enough, everything always comes back ok.  Please remember that as you are struggling while waiting.  

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29 minutes ago, Carrie said:

The fear is terrifying, relentless and exhausting.  I’m so sorry you are going through this.  I have been there myself.  I hate bloodwork, ultrasounds and mammograms.  They cause me so much stress that I don’t eat or function properly for days.  Oddly enough, everything always comes back ok.  Please remember that as you are struggling while waiting.  

Thankyou so much Carrie. It's just nice to know I'm not alone, although I would never wish anyone to experience the level of distress HA can cause. People around me are so lovely and caring but cant and won't probably understand my level of fear, so it's an incredibly lonely place. I wake up shaking and crying and in true terror... that I may leave my young children and never see them grow up!!! Thankyou. X

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2 hours ago, Booandlou said:

Thankyou so much Carrie. It's just nice to know I'm not alone, although I would never wish anyone to experience the level of distress HA can cause. People around me are so lovely and caring but cant and won't probably understand my level of fear, so it's an incredibly lonely place. I wake up shaking and crying and in true terror... that I may leave my young children and never see them grow up!!! Thankyou. X

Unless you experience anxiety of this magnitude there is no way to truly understand it, people just think we create these scenarios, as if it does not come from a place of real fear.  It is truly isolating.  You have the exact same fears that I have, leaving your kids. It really will be ok.  Just try to breathe

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@Carrie thankyou my lovely. I keep doing my calm app, mindfulness does help me for short periods. I keep looking at my kids thinking I'll never see them grow up which is so distressing. I think it definitely stems from a friend dying at a younger age and hearing about other mums passing away at younger ages too. I know that doesn't mean it will automatically happen to me, but the fear is immense. Xx

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What helps me with those thoughts is to look at my kids and think “growing up with a mother who is always worried/anxious, sad, disconnected, overprotective, etc is not how I want my kids to live” Would growing up with no mother be hard? Yes. But growing up with one that is always worried (which the kids are definitely affected by even though we think we hide it well) is not good either. I don’t want them to grow up and worry like I do and that helps me let go of things a lot faster. I don’t want to worry my life away over  things that may never happen. 

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On 5/6/2019 at 12:13 AM, Booandlou said:

Hi, so I get my blood results back tomorrow, I've spent the last week or so in an extremely high state of anxiety. My parents and my partner are having a difficult time managing me as I wake up sobbing and shaking in fear. I'm taking fluoxetine and diazepam but am nearly out of the diazepam, (they don't prescribe many generally in the UK due to risk of addiction). I can barely eat and I wake up in the night with sweats. I'm convinced I have liver damage , I can feel sensations in that area, plus now this last few days my stools are slightly lighter than normal, still brown (sorry for too much info) but slightly yellowish. Googling this has obviously said it can be food, but also liver/pancreas issues.... Could anxiety and stress cause these issues? I do have IBS as well, which is flaring I think due to the stress. But I am almost completely having a breakdown with fear and worry. Can I ask: does anyone else get so so unwell with worry over tests? Like beyond normal anxiety and completely terrified? 

Did your results come back yet

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@Jgriffin Hi, yes they did. Normal, but slightly elevated gamma GT, I'm trying not to work myself over it. Thankyou so much for thinking of me. This past week or so has been absolutely unbearable at times. I'm exhausted from it all, and even though I have a slight respite from my worries for now, I know HA fluctuates and so I am already bracing myself for the next onslaught of worry over another or similar illness. In the meantime I'm going to work on my physical fitness (and hopefully mental health) and start to work on 'acceptance' of it all. Hope you're ok as well?

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