Booandlou

Really struggling today

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Hi all, I've been in a severe episode of HA for days now. I feel so unwell, in a new job, so trying to push through and not show my anxiety is awful. I'm shaking, panicky, head is fuzzy, I am terrified for my blood tests tomorrow, terrified. I just know they will find something bad, my liver levels will be bad- and then I'll be in such a state. Why did I request the test!!? I'm so frightened. 

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A new job can cause quite a bit of stress and that can make your health anxiety worse. Odds are all of your symptoms are stress related and will pass over time. 

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 Hey, I understand how you feel, believe me.  How did your blood tests turn out?

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On 5/2/2019 at 4:11 AM, Booandlou said:

Hi all, I've been in a severe episode of HA for days now. I feel so unwell, in a new job, so trying to push through and not show my anxiety is awful. I'm shaking, panicky, head is fuzzy, I am terrified for my blood tests tomorrow, terrified. I just know they will find something bad, my liver levels will be bad- and then I'll be in such a state. Why did I request the test!!? I'm so frightened. 

Blood test waiting is awful. I always prepare for when they call and tell me all these bad things. Everytime it's been them saying how it all looks perfect. Be glad you got the tests because when they call and say it's all normal you will feel a sense of euphoria.

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Anais and JGriffin: not had any results back yet. Got to wait till Tuesday, in the meantime I'm waking up and having full panic attacks and pacing and crying. I'm terrified. I can feel the area of my liver, and I am now having brown-slightly yellowish stools too which can be a sign of liver problems. I'm so so scared out of my mind xx

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On 5/5/2019 at 1:56 AM, Anais said:

 Hey, I understand how you feel, believe me.  How did your blood tests turn out?

Hi Anais, still waiting on results, coming in tomorrow, I've just posted this morning, I am in a really bad way, not coping at all. Completely beside my self with worry. It's a bank holiday, so I've had to wait an extra day. I'm truly terrified. Xx

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On 5/4/2019 at 11:42 PM, Booandlou said:

Anais and JGriffin: not had any results back yet. Got to wait till Tuesday, in the meantime I'm waking up and having full panic attacks and pacing and crying. I'm terrified. I can feel the area of my liver, and I am now having brown-slightly yellowish stools too which can be a sign of liver problems. I'm so so scared out of my mind xx

I hope and I know your tests will be good please update when you receive them.

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Booandlou,  I just want to tell you that I may not know exactly how you are feeling about your particular situation, but I react in almost the same way you do when it comes to when I feel there is something wrong. The panic, anxiety, and endless worry.  It doesn’t even help me to talk to other people because I always think their situation is not like mine so they can’t “really” understand. I read something the other day that made me think.  It said that sometimes highly creative people who feel stunted somehow in their life tend to be over-worriers about their health.  I wonder how old you are and what you do for a living and if you feel you could be doing something else or doing more?  What you said about feeling your liver.  Can someone really feel their liver?  Could it be you are highly sensitive to the fact that there may be something wrong with your liver and think you can “fell” it?  I’m asking because I sometimes think I. “feel” my lungs, even thought they have told me one can’t feel their lungs.  Also, the change in your stool may be from excessive worry... like pre-diarrhea.  Just one more day.  Whatever the outcome is you will be able to take a more informed next step. Things don’t change because we don’t rest them or look at the results.  I know that’s a scary thought.  I really do sympathize with what you are going through.  Things like this incapacitate me to the point where I don’t want to go to work (although I do) and where nothing gives me joy. I’m here, okay?

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Thankyou so much @Anais it does sound like you understand!! I'm 35 and I have 2 young children so I have a terror I wont see them grow up. I do feel i haven't achieved enough yet in my life, even though I have a good job. I struggle to talk to people when I am bad, and even at work, I'm obsessively checking signs of things in others, for example, my eyes are quite veiny/being bloodshot and I always think everyone else's eyes look so clear and healthy! 

I have been a party animal in the past, ironically alcohol being the one thing that in that moment does calm panic, but I've cut down and almost stopped drinking these days as the days after the panic amplified so badly. It's not worth it! Xx

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