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Help me overcome this please

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here will be two parts because of an Ex friend dying.

First part: my mom did (still may) look down on football players (hi school or pro) bc of bad experiences she had and it’s hard to defend them now with all kinds of stuff they do. She seems to have lessened the stance but I would be disappointed if I was wrong. Im a bit worried some of them may have been able to tell. I won’t be a wimp but sometimes I’m misguided. Heaven forbid if one of those football players (or a friend) called my mom a bad word (esp a certain few) instead of going ham, is it ok to say don’t say that again and ask why the person said It? Assuming this is a reason. I mean I don’t want to lose friendships but at the same time I have to stand up if need be. It’s like my mom is wrong if she has certain stereotypes but it’s kinda ppls wrong if they hold this against her. It’s kind of a hard position and I hope I make sense. Note nothing has happened in 3-9 years. Do you think I’m ok then?

Second part: an x friend died a few years ago and it came into my head that (being exact) between 3-4 years ago he could have spread bad words about my mom since he knows she didn’t like me hanging out with him. He knows ppl I know and talk with. If nothing has been said since do you think Im ok?

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