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jonathan123 last won the day on November 14

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About jonathan123

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    ......AC's very own Yoda.....

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  1. jonathan123

    A friend with PTSD

    Hi. there. Pearls of wisdom!! Oh Geeeeze!!! Thanks, but totally underserved. I only echo how I feel from others I have encountered on the way through this experience. I did a lot of counselling work with folk with anxiety until I went down myself. I realised then that unless you have been there is no way you can understand. One thing I have learned and that is that whatever you do if you do it with Love you will never go wrong. If someone attacks you mentally then to return the hurt is wrong. I know it's difficult not to want to say something back, but we need to resist the temptation. But I do wonder why we are so concerned about what others think of us. No one leads a blameless life. We all make mistakes and we often, inadvertently, hurt someone and often regret it after. On the subject of labels. I entirely agree that to label someone with this or that makes them a slave to that particular problem. 'Oh yes, he's an alcoholic'. That's it then, isn't it? He/she is labelled for the rest of their life even if they cease to be an alcoholic. They become identified by the label. I remember overhearing a conversation when I was unwell. Someone said about me, 'Well, you know, he's a bit er!!!!'Yes I was 'A bit, er', but so are many so called 'sane' people. I have found that those with anxiety are often more sane than those who seem OK. In medicine I suppose they have to use labels for obvious reasons, but we should avoid it as much as possible. I suggest you let him go his own way. If he wants to use labels, fine! but you don't have to. If the guy is suffering from PTSD then his thinking is going to be all over the place anyway. If you give way to his wishes then he might feel that labelling is the right thing to do. Maybe a little challenge in his life would help. Don't let it hurt you because it's one of those tricky situations and you have done nothing wrong. Whatever you do if you do it with kindness and good intentions then there can be no blame attached. Best wishes.
  2. jonathan123

    How many THOUGHT they had a B/T and WHY?

    Now I wonder if no one of us had ever heard of BT would be concerned about it? There are literally thousands of diseases that we have not heard of so any symptoms that arise will always be the symptoms of a disease we know about. Supposing I said to you 'Don't worry, it's OK. you have a touch of Mongolian Swamp fever'. now immediately the idea is planted in your mind like a seed. (As it is if you are foolish enough to Google!). You store information about health problems in your mind, and when in an anxious state up they come. The 'What Ifs' and the 'OMG's'. So Mongolian Swamp Fever is added to your already long list of possibilities. In anxiety we fasten on to the negative all too quickly. Millions of people get headaches every day but very very few have a BT! But logic never comes into the picture neither does reason. When we get in a panic the primitive part of the brain comes into operation and prepares us for a fight/flight mode, so it stands to reason that any positive thinking is not possible. This is why it's so important not to fight or struggle with symptoms. You can't 'get rid of them' but must allow them to pass without giving them too much importance. It's the amount of importance you place on them that makes them so worrisome. I have to repeat again; it's the old cycle. Fear/anxiety/symptoms/fear! There is no easy answer to anxiety and it has to be worked on for relief, but it is possible if you accept without too much struggle or fighting.
  3. jonathan123

    High Anxiety and Can't calm down. Help needed friends

    Oh yes, I'm sure hormones come into play especially with women. I have spoken to many women who have found that their anxiety increases when they have a period, but declines when it's over. I am sure men have hormonal problems too, but of a different sort. Adrenaline is a hormone. The FEAR hormone, which comes into play when we are anxious. A lot of our problems are lack of communication. By that I mean that if young people were more aware of what anxiety and worry is about and are taught in schools and colleges how to cope with it, there would be far less adolescents with depression. I self monitor way too much Yes, but don't we all? That's what anxiety is, to seek reassurance from some source that purports to know, but invariably, doesn't! That is why Googling is so dangerous. The more we do it the more we increase the anxiety. I will say, and it's a personal view, that we take ourselves far too seriously. Spending a lifetime worrying is no way to live. I have learned over the years, and especially since my anxiety, that day to day living is far better than anticipation about the future. We have to plan ahead, of course, but having done so leave it. Look at what is going on around you. Introspection is one of the curses of anxiety and unless we learn to accept life as it comes we will always be fearful.
  4. jonathan123


    Hi. jitteryj. Welcome to AC. I would suggest that lightheadedness and dizziness are very common symptoms of anxiety. In fact almost everyone who is in an anxiety state gets them. It's a common symptom like having a sore throat when you have a cold. I would not worry about addiction at this stage. You would have to be on them long term to get addicted. Nausea is also a common symptom. You will learn as you progress that anxiety can mimic any disease that you are aware of. I know it's almost unbelievable but true. Now when you feel the feelings coming, let them come. Most of our problems arise from trying to fight them off. Fighting and struggling with symptoms is counter productive. So many do it and it's not the way to go about it. When I say let them come I mean just allow the feelings without adding more fear by being so afraid of them. Being afraid allows the adrenaline to continue to flow and increases the anxiety. You get in the vicious circle of fear/anxiety/symptoms/fear. Fear is always at the root of anxiety. Things you don't fear do not make you anxious. You fear getting your symptoms so you lay the groundwork for more bad feelings. Accept how you feel and TRY not to add 'second fear'. That's the fear of what might happen. The 'what ifs' and so on. Best wishes.
  5. jonathan123

    Dizziness and Nausea again

    Hi. Leah. Your symptoms are classic anxiety! I know how difficult it is to believe that all that happens is in the mind only, but it's true. How many times have I heard people say, 'but the pain is so real, it can't all be in the mind'. Believe me; anxiety can mimic any known disease if it's something you know about. The fact that you know about BT is a memory stored in your mind and, being in an anxiety state, triggers off all the symptoms you have. You must believe your doctors. They do know what they are talking about. If you have a neck problem then that could cause dizziness. It goes with a nauseous feeling to. If you could get to a chiropractor it may help. But you have been reassured so try and accept the feelings without running away from them or fighting them. Best wishes.
  6. jonathan123

    Why does this happen to me..?

    Hi Td. It's what I call the 'yo yo' effect. Up one minute down the next. Also there may be some 'triggers' that you have not noticed but stir up some distant memory. The feeling of depersonalization is very common in anxiety and I suspect we have all felt it at some time. I have and I know many who have. But the problem is that when it catches us unawares we get frightened and so increase the anxiety which leads back to the vicious circle of fear/symptoms/anxiety/fear. Try not to be so concerned about symptoms. They are all smoke and mirrors. They fool you into believing lies about yourself. Take it easy and try and accept, for the moment, what is happening.
  7. jonathan123

    I've been somewhat sick for 3 weeks now

    Hi. William. It is suggested that a cough can last as long as three weeks or even longer after a bout of flu or a bad cold. It would be advisable if only for peace of mind to have a check up. Also, feeling as if you are going to fall and feeling nauseous are common anxiety symptoms. If you had a cold then got the cough symptom it could be an anxiety habit. What I mean is that the idea of a cough being something worse than the aftermath of a cold will make you have a 'nervous' cough. Does this sound like the flu or pneumonia to anyone? I feel my anxiety is making this really worse. 🤒 Not to me it doesn't because, with either of those complaints you would be physically ill and there would be no doubt about it. But I'm no doctor and, as I said, have a check up. Yes, your anxiety is making it worse. But that's what health anxiety does. It blows up any symptom out of all proportion, and we are so easily fooled into thinking something is seriously wrong. We are so vulnerable to suggestion. That's why it is foolish to Google symptoms. Try and get a medical opinion to ease your mind, but also try to accept the symptoms without giving them too much credence.
  8. jonathan123

    What is wrong with me?

    Hi.Tb. If you have a computer (obviously you have!!) you will know what I mean by fragmentation. The hard drive gets spit so that parts of a message are all over the place. It is similar with a mind in anxiety. Thoughts from long ago pop up. Sometimes all the nasty thoughts come from movies you may have seen or books you have read. All this is stored in the mind but normally would not appear. But when under stress (anxiety) these thoughts come to the foreground and bother us a lot. As others have said, it's all part of anxiety. YOU ARE NOT GOING CRAZY. I bet you have been thinking that but it's not true. Now if a computer gets in that state it needs defragmenting. You can do it if you accept and don't fight or struggle with the symptoms. Let them come but do not give them such importance. TRY to accept how you feel. Difficult, Oh yes, but it's a way of letting stress go. Try and understand that the mind will play all sorts of tricks when you are in an anxiety state. You can't ignore them but you can accept them. Good luck.
  9. jonathan123

    High Anxiety and Can't calm down. Help needed friends

    Hi lugrad. I absolutely agree. We have had a lot of this kind of post over the years and I hope the mods get on to it ASAP. I don't think they realise that taking up space on this site is for people with real problems. I also agree that only meds on prescription should be used and nothing else. So many anxious people try all sorts of things in a desperate effort to get well. It's understandable but not wise without your GP's approval. But if you look at the people who have the same pain but still smile and lead a good life then you realize you do have a choice. Oh Yeah!!!! Who are these people who smile when in an anxiety state? I gave up smiling when I was like it because there was absolutely nothing to smile about. 'Look on the positive side' they say. 'Keep cheerful' they say. 'You are not as bad as you think you are' they say. No?? Well I suggest that only anyone who has never had real anxiety could talk that way.
  10. jonathan123

    Can anxiety really be causing all of this?

    Oh yes Emma, anxiety can cause all those symptoms and more. But has it ever occurred to you that we only worry about the symptoms of a disease we know about? There are some favourites among us sufferers, but they are all well advertised on Google. (If you are silly enough to go there!!!). The diseases, or symptoms of those we know nothing about, don't bother us because they have not entered our minds. That's why Googling is so dangerous. We are bombarded with news of illness and diseases, and even in doctor's surgeries in the UK the walls are covered with 'have you got the symptoms of this or that'. No wonder we are all on the lookout for some symptom! Once the seed is sown in an anxious mind then all else will follow. Your mind senses danger because of the worry which then sends your body into a fight/flight mode. It's how you think and what you think about that causes the problem. Yes, you must believe the medics. If you have been given the all clear then take it as a fact and be pleased about it.
  11. jonathan123

    Body Aches

    If you look at the above comments you will see good examples of a half glass, full or empty. Anxiety always directs us to the worst possible scenario. The analogy of a tree is a good one because we can either see it as 'going with it' (Acceptance), or battling with the wind and having to stop ourselves from breaking altogether. Yes, the tree can lose branches, but it's still got a good chance of survival. So many posts talk about 'battling with anxiety'. Or 'fighting anxiety'. They turn it into a battleground in their mind. In a battle adrenaline flows freely as it does in an anxiety attack. By acceptance you neutralise the fear. Oh yes, it takes time, patience and some effort, but the gale never lasts and you can, like the tree, remain upright again. People who know no better say 'You must fight this thing: you must not let it get the better of you'. And so you go on with the battle until, exhausted you look for other ways. I batted with it and it got me nowhere. You can shorten its effects by just accepting that you suffer from anxiety and that it will pass. It always does given the right attitude. What is a panic attack? It's your body's response to danger. ITS NORMAL IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. Your body is behaving as it was meant to do in the face of danger. Preparing you for flight or fight. All the symptoms are geared to that end. By accepting that fact and by not adding 'second fear' you will find relief from the attacks until THEY NO LONGER MATTER. OK, so feel dizzy, feel shaky and breathless. Feel nauseous or tremble. If you have been checked and told it's 'nerves' then accept that fact and stop the struggle. Call an armistice to the battleground.
  12. jonathan123

    Body Aches

    Hi. Gale. When you to to bed your body relaxes and, more importantly, so does your mind. You may look forward to the oblivion that sleep brings. You are at rest and in a safe pace. But when you wake up the world hits you in the face, and the cry from so any sufferers is 'OH NO, not another day of that misery', and if you think that way sure enough it will happen. Now I am not a great believer in positive thinking. You can try and think positively, but the effort to do so is often too much. Acceptance is much better although that is not easy either. But when you wake up say to yourself 'Oh well, another day to practice acceptance. Another day to put into effect all I have learned', A much better start than dreading getting up. Now acceptance is neither negative or positive. It's just something you do without any strings attached. Go with the flow. A tree in a gale does not resist the wind. It goes with it and bends and gives way to the force. Give way to your anxiety and stop trying to resist it and, above all, stop being afraid of it and trying to fight it off. Fighting and struggling is counter productive and just makes it worse. Sorry to keep asking so many questions No it's OK. It's what the site is for. To get reassurance from those who are going through it or have been there. Never be sorry about getting all the help you can from any reliable source. So many who have not been there have opinions about anxiety. Don't listen. Unless you have suffered in this way they can never know. Many doctors and professional medics often suffer from anxiety; I know, I have met them. Take it easy. You will be fine. None of this lasts forever if you go about it in the right way.
  13. jonathan123

    Fatal insomnia

    Hi Bobnnat. I agree with you up to a point, but the problem always is who is really ill and who isn't? We can only judge by what they say and it all sounds authentic to me, but I could be wrong. I agree with you that anyone suffering from any of the complaints listed above would certainly go to a doctor or at least get some medical advice. It is sheer stupidity not to! There is the fact of course that going to a doctor or some medical place fills many with dread, and it often takes a lot of persuasion to get them there. The guy on your old site should be ashamed of himself wasting peoples time and just jollying them along. I suppose he got his kicks that way. It's a bit sick!!! Time will tell I suppose.
  14. jonathan123

    Google did it to me again!

    The one thing about anxiety that is difficult to understand is that we constantly require reassurance. From the doctor, our friends and relatives and anyone who will listen. Most people, when you try to explain how you feel, will look at you in surprise. But you look so well'. Yes, most of us with anxiety do. 'Why can't you believe your doctor?' The short answer is it's because I have anxiety! It's no different than saying to someone 'Why can't you walk' when they have a broken leg? The suffering you have is unique to you. All the forms of anxiety have fear at their root, but the forms vary from person to person and are unique to that person. That's why it may be wrong to compare ourselves with others in a similar situation. So often the real cause lies hidden in the unconscious, and it can take a skilled person to find the cause. It’s always comforting to know others have the same thing! Funny thing is that I’m sure I’ve had these before throughout my life and never thought twice about them. Of course, years ago we never had the temptation of googling these things, It wasn't the lack of Googling but the fact that you were not anxious about your health problems. If you have no fear of something then it will not cause anxiety, obviously! Some people run a mile if they see a spider. Something in them is 'triggered' by a harmless insect. (Well in the UK they are. I don't know about elsewhere!!). But deep in their unconscious is a fear of that form of insect, or it may be something entirely different. It's a complex and difficult subject. One thing is sure. Lose your fear of what is causing the anxiety and its gone. But finding causes can take time and be expensive. Acceptance costs nothing. Dr. Weekes book 'Essential help for your Nerves' is a handbook I would not be without. It's worth the cost which is not high and it's available on Amazon.
  15. jonathan123

    How many years have you suffered from anxiety.

    Hi Gale. Now why would you feel a failure. I have found that the vast majority of those with anxiety are courageous people. If those who don't have it were to have just a week of it most would collapse in a heap. Has it ever occured to you that all the years you have suffered means you are courageous? Of course acceptance is not easy, but what is in anxiety. We have to realise there is always a root cause that brings on or 'triggers' an anxiety attack. Fear must come into play. So ask yourself 'what am I afraid of'. Yeah, I know, EVERYTHING!. I have been there too and sometimes the most trivial thing can cause an upset. No wonder our friends and relatives think we have flipped!! Unless you have experienced the effects of anxiety you will never know what it's like. Your anxiety has lasted so long it may have become a habit, and habits can be broken. Don't worry about medication not seeming to work. It's a very hit and miss affair and some people just don't seem to tolerate some meds. You say you do not have acceptance. But it's not something you have it's something you do. When it comes on say to yourself or out loud if you like, 'So here we are again. I'm going to go with you even make friends with you because that way I won't react to your nasty feelings'. Make friends with anxiety!!! I feel you cringe. But that way it can cease to do you harm because you have accepted it into your thinking. You no longer recoil in fear when you feel bad. Just let it come and pass over you. It always will because adrenaline has a limited life. Take care and take your time. Rushing to get well is counter productive.