jonathan123

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About jonathan123

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    ......AC's very own Yoda.....

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  1. One day the medical field will research the affects on people waiting for test results, getting calls back to repeat tests, being told you may have cancer to find out 5 days later you don't. What psychological damage is that doing to us? A hell of a lot Jae! I have lost count of the number of times this has come up with me talking to anxious people. I was in hospital some years ago and went for test on a Friday afternoon. It was one of those where they put a tube down your throat. Yuk!!! I survived that, but when asked the sister if any results had come through I was told, "Sorry, they have gone for the weekend, but will let you know on Monday". !!! They have no idea how much anguish that can cause. Two whole days laying in bed and not knowing. But it's the old story, unless you have been there you will never know. Just one day of anxiety for these people would work wonders, but until it does we have to grin and bear it.
  2. Oh yes!! Self diagnosis in anxiety is very dangerous. Leave the diagnostics to the doctors. If they say OK, then no second guessing. A thought has to be in your mind for you to react to it. Obviously! So when you Google or listen to some negative information, it sticks in your mind. We are very vulnerable to suggestion in HA. If none of us would have heard of MS or any other awful disease would we respond as we do? Of course not. And that's the difference between us and our ancestors. Caveman may have got ill, but he took it in his stride. He recovered or he didn't. We, unfortunately, have inherited his fight/flight syndrome. But WE are over informed. The frighteners are put on us every day by some new illness we have found or that someone we know has. But living a life of continual apprehension is not good at all. Can we accept the feelings? Go with them and not fight or struggling with them? Knowing they will pass if we don't give them too much credence? They are real, and the physical symptoms are real, but if you have been declared fit then leave it. The physical symptoms may continue for a while. We are like a big bell that has been struck. The initial noise is over, but the vibrations go on for a while. Take it easy.
  3. Hi. Stephanie. Welcome to AC. . Of course, you are so right. It is all in the mind. But having said that the pains and emotions are only too real. It's very difficult to grasp the fact that the mind can actually cause symptoms of a disease even though we are checked out and found to be OK. Never underestimate the power of the mind! The tricks anxiety can play are endless. But the thought or idea must be there for you or anyone to feel symptoms that are not a reality. That's why Googling is out. When in an anxiety state, especially HA, we take in information that is useless because we are not doctors and don't understand. But the thought has been planted like a seed and will grow out of all proportion. Our vulnerability to suggestion is heightened. Suggestion can be a frightening experience, and just makes anxiety worse. Acceptance is still the answer. The realisation that it's all smoke and mirrors in Mr. Anxiety's workshop may give some relief. Bluff and counter bluff are his stock in trade. Once told you are OK, believe them, no second guessing.
  4. Hi. Nutmeg. Oh dearie me, we are in a tiz aren't we. Right! Take a deep breath, if you can, and try and relax. Alright, I know, it's difficult, but try. Now it's obvious you have some sort of catarrh. I get this a lot and especially now during the hay fever time. The palpitations are a reaction to fear. When you tense up and feel fear the electrical impulses to the heart are affected by the fear. Not with all of us but some.The heart 'skips' beats which is what palps are. Your heart is beginning to pump more blood to prepare you for flight/fight. Perfectly natural but very disconcerting. If you have been checked out and told your heart is ok, believe them. Are you on medication? No matter what you do to distract yourself always, in the background, is the fear you may die for want of air. YOU WILL NOT. OK? Nature controls our breathing, thank God. I don't believe in distractions. You can go to the gym, walk, go cycling or whatever, and while all that is good physically anxiety is not a physical problem. It can become one with HA, true. It's in the mind it has to be sorted. You know, Nutmeg, that only true acceptance, with perhaps some mild medication will help. if my air way were blocked I would definitely not be able to type this right? Right!! So hold onto that thought. Like all positive thoughts it will be fleeting, but it's a beginning. Accept it all and stop flogging yourself with unfounded fear. Best wishes.
  5. Hi. Lior. Don't fight or struggle with them, as you do in your sleep. Take them all as they come and stop frightening yourself. I know how difficult that can be, believe me! (My quote). And that advice still stands. You can't ignore emotions or feelings. They are there and have to be seen for what they are. Thoughts, possibly in a tired mind. When emotions and thoughts come it's because our natural ability to forget them has lessened. We become vulnerable to suggestions of all sorts, that's why Googling is out. We frighten ourselves. You don't try and 'get rid' of anything. I said before, this is natural experience in the circumstances. Who wouldn't feel upset, tired and having problems with memory when we flog ourselves 24/7! Ok, so you forget. Well, forget. But forget with acceptance in your heart. I am not being funny. You will always remember the bad incidents but hardly ever the good ones. Our minds get stuck in a groove, like the old gramophone records. They play the same tune over and over. The more we try to 'fight' it off the worse it gets. I'm not saying it's easy, oh no! and I don't have a magic wand that can help in the form of words. But I do know that by accepting your feelings and not allowing them to frighten you you will be on your way. When in the same state as you I would often be driving along and forget where I was or where I was going. That was many years ago. It's frightening. I say it is! But I only wish I knew then what I know now, I could have saved myself so much pain. You will be OK if you take it easy. ALLOW the thoughts to come, but see them for what they are. Tired thoughts in a tired mind. Are you on medication of any sort? Prescribed drugs can sometimes cause memory problems. Best wishes.
  6. Now Nutmeg, you know the score. You have helped so many here, but when it comes to helping oneself it's different isn't it? Why? Because all this of this sounds like an odd shit, I KNOW IT. This craziness is my reality. No it doesn't, not at all. It's NOT your reality! That's still buried inside you waiting to come out. Anxiety is never YOUR reality, it a universal problem. Heart palps are not heart trouble. They occur when you are stressed out and are simply 'missed' heartbeats due to the effect of stress on the electrical impulses to the heart. They are harmless. Stress can play merry hell to the body, and at times it's difficult to believe this is so. The symptoms are so real, but it's all your vivid imagination at work. The more you fret and worry the more fuel you add to anxiety's fire. Acceptance, however difficult, is still the answer. It takes time, but us sufferers are an impatient lot and want to be well yesterday! It's taken time to get in and it will take time to get out. The old saying comes to mind. 'When in a hole stop digging'. But we do dig don't we, and the hole gets deeper. Slow down; take it easy, well, as easily as you can.
  7. Hi. There and welcome to AC. . So your kids would be better off without you! Would they? How do you know that? Would you deliberately want anyone to suffer pain because of your actions? Your self esteem is very low and with it goes a sense of unworthiness. But you are not. Everyone, even the meanest of the meanest deserves to be treated fairly and with understanding. I, for one, know how you feel and have been there. I thought no one understood how I felt or wanted to be near me until I came on here. Anxiety can hit hard, especially if you have been reasonably happy before its onset. The world seems to go dark. People around you no longer seem to respond in the way they did, but we must be careful. It could be us giving off the wrong feelings to which they recoil. Not many understand and so say things that may sound hurtful. Do you think your kids would be better off without you because of something that has been said? YOU are not special! No? Where else is there another YOU? Out of the millions of the earth's population there's not another YOU anywhere. So can you see YOU ARE special! We can feel so isolated and lonely with anxiety even among friends or close relatives. But you are not alone because the kind folk on here know how you feel so don't hesitate to come back if you want.
  8. Yeah!!!! Those guys. !!!!' Fear, anxiety, OMG's, what if's, negative thoughts, panics, etc'. All lined up like a firing squad ready for someone to say 'fire' and we get the lot. Oh no, you don't have to fall for that, not at all. All those things are mirages, illusions, implanted in our minds by years of brainwashing in this so called enlightened society. Why is anxiety on the increase? Because of the Western lifestyle, the ridiculous way we live with all the hurry hurry which creates so much stress. 'I must close three deals today or my boss will not like me'. Imagine the pressure that puts on a person if they can't do three deals!! A sensitive person may react alarmingly. Some seem to tolerate it, others can't cope and feel anxious and upset. But cope or not it is still going to have a negative effect. If we all slowed down and stopped the feeling of urgency in what we do a lot of pain could be avoided.
  9. Yes, it's like a body blow. It's sudden and painful. But rolling with the punches is the answer. In the words of the Daleks, 'resistance is futile', and in the context of anxiety it sure is. But the natural desire is to run or fight. These are powerful emotions and only by allowing the feelings pass over you will they die down. But sometimes there is a kind of 'after shock'. We may momentarily feel pleased we have succeeded in allowing it to happen, then the 'what ifs' begin. 'Oh dear I had it again, will it never stop' It will if we stop adding fear to fear. Stoking the fire of anxiety by all the OMG's and 'what ifs'. None of this is easy as bin says. 'Welcome it'. I know, it sounds odd to welcome such an awful feeling, but the more we do that the less likely is it going to bother us. If you welcome someone you let them in, make friends with them. Yes, I am saying that. Make friends with 'IT'. Stop treating it as your enemy, more as your friend. It's there to teach you something about yourself; your life, you!! Listen to it. Thanks bin.
  10. My goodness. Now there's a good example of acceptance. I love the word 'reset' in this context. To carry the analogy further, it is like a hard drive fragmentation. The computer is slow and sluggish, but when we 'reset' it it's back to its original condition. WE can reset if we do what bin did. STOP. Slow down. Let it pass over you, then carry on with your business. There was panic, but it was disregarded. He took time. It's so important not to try and rush it. Let it come and realise that adrenaline has its limitations. There is just so much in a panic attack, but once used up and unless we stop adding fear to fear, it will subside. Thanks bin.
  11. Hi. Leah. It's hard if you make it hard. Trying to accept with gritted teeth is not acceptance. What I mean is to let it all go. Let it happen but without adding fear to fear, that's acceptance! Struggling and fighting 'IT' is counter productive. Do nothing! Absolutely nothing! OK? Buddhist call this 'action in no action'. What I am saying is 'give in'. Yes give in but never 'give up', that's entirely different. If you give into the feelings they lose so much power over you. They feed on fear, and if you remove the fear they are starved of their natural food. It's a mistake to believe you must always be trying to do something about 'IT'. By doing nothing you are doing everything possible to help manage your anxiety. This idea of 'no action' is difficult to grasp. We in the West are always 'busy'. Our minds race and we imagine so much to our own detriment. Trees don't resist the wind, they bend with it. If they gritted their leaves and tried to stay upright they would break. Try and take it as it comes, and no adding fear to fear.
  12. is this even possible?????? It's more than possible, it's a fact!!!! One of the most difficult things to understand in anxiety is that anything is possible when we begin to think negatively. Now for a thought to occur it must be in your mind already. Obviously!! If you know nothing about something how can you think about it? These days,with all these health fears going around, our minds are stuffed with the frighteners adverts. It's very subtle, but it's a good way to make you buy some remedy or go see someone. Fear is a powerful driving force and the advertisers know it and use it. That's why Googling symptoms is so dangerous. When in an anxiety state we are very vulnerable and open to suggestion. So any negative or frightening thought will occur at any time and send us into the spiral of symptoms/fear/ anxiety/worry/ symptoms!!! Once we have been told we are ok then leave it! They do know what they are doing so leave the diagnosis to the diagnosticians. It's so difficult for us to grasp the idea of psychosomatic disorders. That our minds can and do do this to us is almost unbelievable at times, and that's why so many doubt their sanity. Actually the psycho (the mind) is giving messages to the somatic (the body), perfectly normal messages in the circumstances of fear and apprehension. It is saying 'danger' and your body reacts accordingly. If you can accept the symptoms without adding fear to fear then they will gradually die down.
  13. We can go round in never ending circles, but in anxiety no explanation will satisfy us. 'What if they have missed something?' is a cry from so many. Actually dizziness in anxiety is simply explained. The inner ear, where our balance mechanism lies, is very delicate and can be more so when we are stressed. Balance is bound to be affected. Wax in the ear can cause similar problems, but that's so easily diagnosed. Sea sickness is a good example of how the brain tries to make sense of a swaying world. The balance mechanism is trying to correct something that is not correctable. Hence the dizziness, so common in sea sickness. Having been told you are OK physically then try and accept the dizziness as just another example of the bluff anxiety can cause. It's a very unpleasant feeling but it does pass as stress lessens. I would suggest that it's one of the worse symptoms of anxiety, and one that causes more fear and apprehension than any other.
  14. Hi. There.Welcome to AC. . Yes indeed. It is a hard thing to live with but given the right treatment and the right attitude it can be overcome, or at least managed so it no longer affects your life. Are you on medication from your doctor? If you haven't been go. Doctors are so used to anxiety these days and short term medication can help a lot. This, together with counselling can work wonders. But not everyone can get counselling. I am not minimising your feelings. God knows, I have been there! But once you have been told it's 'nerves' then believe them. The symptoms you have are so typical of health anxiety. Yes, your mind is playing tricks on you, but remember it's your mind and under your control. You are being bluffed and fooled into believing lies about yourself. The old saying 'it's all smoke and mirrors' is so true. Anxiety can and will lead you up blind alleys. The real answer is to ACCEPT how you feel for the moment without adding 'second fear'. That's the OMG's and the 'what ifs'. All that does is add fuel to anxiety. There is always hope, never doubt it. Many have learned to manage their anxiety and so can you. Look under 'Articles' at some of the advice given by those who, like you, have suffered. Sound advice from those who know. There is no substitute for experience in anxiety. Come back whenever you want. We are here.
  15. Oh yes!!!!! Unsteadiness is another of Mr. Anxiety's little tricks. We often feel off balance especially on getting up from sitting. The balance mechanism in the ears is very delicate. A cold or flu or some infections can affect it and cause the symptoms you have. Stress will affect the balance mechanism. Just go along with it for the moment. Stress can instigate anxiety. In fact I would say it's a major cause. When we get stressed out for some reason our normal body functions become exaggerated. We notice our breathing more. We notice our heartbeat whereas before we didn't even think about it. We need to go to the toilet more and so on. All symptoms of stress. If it worries you see your GP if only for reassurance. But, believe me, stress can cause no end of problems. But even so called 'normal' people get stressed, but unlike us once the stressful situation is passed they return to normal. We don't!! Symptoms frighten us which starts the self perpetuating cycle of symptoms/fear/anxiety/symptoms. Break the circle. You can't ignore the feelings, that's not possible, but you can go along with them and accept, for the moment, that they will be there when you are stressed.