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Everything posted by garypayton

  1. well guys, as you can imagine, my symptoms are getting worst so every day i am more convinced i have cancer. I've always been a 2 times a day guy. Now suddenly there are days i only go one time (happened 2-3 times). I really don't know what's happening. I talked to a gastro on the internet, i told him my story and he says i have IBS caused by my anxiety, and the symptoms get worst because of my anxiety. The only symptom i still don't have is blood, and i am calling it, cause i see it coming, because it looks like every symptom i read sooner or later i have it. Yesterday i was thinking "Well at least i am regular i always go twice a day"... and look now i am really scared guys, really. Thank you so much angrry, i need all the help possilbe now
  2. YESSS happens a lot if you take a nap during the day, also if you play some game on your cellphone or a videogame. Our brains are so solicited from this tecnology, the least it can happen is to have an agitated sleep
  3. Hi angrry, thank you for your kind words, since you are living my same fear, i appreciate it even more. Hope you get better soon. I'm taking some natural pills for my HA, also seeing a psycologist who's helpful for the moment, but the day after i see him i come back to my fears.
  4. As you can imagine, me being in the "colon cancer" process, i weight myself like 5 times a day. In the last weeks i lost 2 pounds too. But i'm in a low fodmap diet since 2 months now, and i guess is normal to lose some weight. But still i think the main reason i lost these 2 pounds is STRESS. I am a guy who tends to lose rather than gaining weight. As they told you, be concerned when you lose 10-12 pounds in a month without reason. Until then, it's all normal
  5. I constantly dream i jump in a dream, or somebody throws a ball at me (memories of my b-baller times?) and i wake up doing the same movement i do in my dream. Totally normal.
  6. I know. The rational part of me tells me exactly what you are telling me, but my anxious-me is way stronger. I don't know if my diarrhea is because of the anxiety, it could be, but as you surely know, anxiety suffocates one's discernment ability. You just don't get if it's "real" or if you're doing it to yourself.
  7. Hi Alicia, well, here we all suffer from some type of health anxiety. I personally had many different fears about having some disease, from MS to cancer (now i fear i have colon cancer), and it's difficult to help you here, i mean, we don't have THE solution because we all suffer the same pains. But maybe it will make you feel better just to tell us when you have a crisis, and we can try to help you to calm down. We, hypocondriacs, are good at calming people, if we could only calm ourselves LOL. I read the symptoms your anxiety is giving you and i think : look how powerful your mind is, imagine if you could turn it upside down and use that power for something good to your life, you could do anything, anything. I think that's the point here, for all of us. Our minds are stronger than those of a normal person. We have a gift, we just use it the wrong way. We have to turn this power into a good one, and our lives will get better. Hugs.
  8. Hi Bobnnat, i'm 38 - nobody in the family had colon cancer - i don't smoke - i'm fit I don't have pain, i had some disconfort probably caused by gluten because when i stopped to eat pasta and bread that kind of disconfort pratically disappeared (i sometimes feel it slightly but lasts like 2 seconds). What worries me is my stool and the fact that the last weeks, once a week more or less, i have a bout of diarrhea (in the morning i go "normally once, then after a while i go again). I understand what you're trying to tell me, but as you may imagine, being an hypocondriac, i did my researches on the web and red some horrific stories about young people having colon cancer.
  9. hello guys, maybe some of you remind me for various posts about my fear of having colon cancer. By now I am going crazy and day after day I am more and more convinced of having a tumor. it all started a few months ago with simple abdominal discomforts, which have disappeared by eliminating gluten. From that moment, however, I became obsessed with my feces, while anxiety devours me day after day. I went two months ago to a gastroenterologist, who palpated my abdomen, gave me an intestinal ultrasound and told me he didn't see anything strange. For a while I was better, now since twenty days ago my anxiety has increased again. Once a week I'm having a bout of diarrhea, almost always after breakfast, which didn't happen to me before. My gastroenterologist is on vacation and returns in 10 days, i could contact another gastroenterologist via the internet who is convinced that I suffer from IBS. Fear, though, is killing me, I can't do anything during the day, I just think I'll die, that I'm sick. Two weeks ago I did blood tests, with liver and pancreas values also, and everything turned out normal. Yet I can't get better, I have crossed the line and I find myself in the territory where I don't understand what symptoms are real and which are caused by anxiety. Help me guys
  10. Lol, yes great timing. So he told you the same, they can see almost any wrong thing in the bowel with an ultrasound? I had mine like 40 days ago, i guess i wouldn't have developed a blockage in such a short time
  11. Hi Jremtx, I had the ASL fear last year. Had all the symptoms created by my wonderful mind. When i finally saw a neurologist he nearly kicked my butt outside the room telling me i was perfect. I think the shame i felt made all the symptoms go away at the same second he kicked me out. Sometimes i think the marevellous things my mind would be able to do if i could turn its bad powers into good. I would probably fly just like some haitians i read about
  12. Hi Bob and thank you for the time you took to answer me. Yes, i read that too, but as you may know, an hipocondriac always need to be told "it's okay, it's normal". And yes, mine come and go, in these days i had them, that's why i asked about the carrots, because i read they say they are good for constipation, but in my case it looks like they do the opposite for me. Small thin narrow stools, like small carrots (LOL). Only sunday i remember going with normal stools. Bob, what do you think about the bowel ultrasound i had one month ago? I read that they say in underrated, that they can detect blockage, cancer or polyps in the bowel : If i had a blockage causing my stool to be thinner, it would be noticeable in the ultrasound, right?
  13. Narrow, thin stools...are they a case of concern? (translated in the hypocondriac vocabulary : am i dying?) I've been reading studies saying narrow stools are not related to colon cancer ( ) but i really don't know what to believe. I've been having colon cancer fear since months now, i went to a gastro who told me i'm fine after a bowel ultrasound (his words were "your bowel looks perfect"), i've had blood test (no anemy, everything fine), but still my anxiety has a big impact on me. I'm always scared of what i'll eat, of how my stool will look like, i'm convinced (because the gastro never confirmed it) i have IBS (or maybe is just stress), so i'm always trying to change my diet. Lately i'm having narrow stools, ribbon like stools, sometimes in small pieces and yes, sometimes normal... Do i have to worry? Also i ate a lot of raw carrots the last 3 days and it looks like they are giving me constipation. Is it possible? online i read they don't do that, but my stool has become more little and i'm less productive, something that never happened to me. Is the bowel ultrasound a good exam? I read when they can see clearly the bowel, they can sometimes find even polyps and cancers. i am freaking out...
  14. I've been trying to figure it out, i think it could have been some mass gain powder that i left on the sun (in these days here we reached 39 celsius) because i remember right after i drank the shake i felt strange in the bowel. The next day i had the first episode and the next day the last one. I lost a couple of pounds too, i guess it must be a mixture from anxiety and eating a little bit different. I hope is just that
  15. thanks for your time, a prayer for your dad. Yes, i've read dozens of stories of people having blood in stools that have a completely clear colonscopy. I hope these symptoms will just go away as soon as possible for my mental sanity.
  16. Hi guys, let me tell you the latest news. For two days I have had two bad episodes of steatorrhea: pasty stools, with a terrible smell and clear color. I was terrified because yesterday I also felt a pain under the sternum and I thought it might be the pancreas. I went to the emergency room, where after hours of waiting they did blood tests with various values of liver and pancreas. Everything turned out to be normal, apart from the gilbert syndrome that I have always had and that slightly changes my bilirubin values. I only have creatinine (1.26) which is slightly high, probably due to the fact that I work out in the gym and it is very hot these days and I drink very little water. The doctor told me to drink a lot and check it again in a month. Today they then gave me another abdominal ultrasound where everything turned out to be normal. As an anxious person, the fact that there are no signs worries me even more because I cannot understand the cause of steatorrhea. Last night I ate meat and green salad (very rarely I eat green salad, i usually eat carrots and fennels) and this morning I had normal feces, immediately followed by a discharge of green diarrhea (which at first seemed black to me, making me dying of fear for a second) with whole pieces of salad. I'm going crazy guys, I don't know what to think anymore. If anyone has had similar experiences, I would appreciate your opinion.
  17. Hi guys, some of you may know me because i've been talking about my fears about colon cancer. In the last days my fears are all connected to having pancreatic cancer. I have 2 symptoms : a slight pain in the left side under my sternum and, the symptom that worries me the most, i've got steatorrhea, 2 episodes. For 2 day i went to the bathroom normally in the morning but then, after lunch, i had for 2 consecutives days 2 horrible stools, mushy, floating, light brown and smelling terrible. I am really, really scared i must have pancreatic cancer. My stool have been pale brown from a long time and i feel like now it's probably getting worst and the cancer is attacking. i had an ultrasound one month ago, but you might now it's not a good exam for pancreas. I'm totally, really freaking out right now. you don't have idea
  18. I understand what you mean. But as you can imagine, to my mind : NO ANSWER = COLON CANCER
  19. Hi AndrewF, thanks, i undertstand what you try to tell me. I can assure you i've been a lot better lately. Yes, i still can't stop thinking about my colon, on how it will react if i eat that food or that one, but i was more relaxed. When i wrote the last post, it was that i ate kiwies in the morning, and it looks like they made me go more to the bathroom only that day. The problem is, as i said before, whenever some episode happens, i start to get worried again. For example, today i had a mild diarreha unexpected run after lunch and did a lot, litterally a lot. It happened before to me but it's really really rare and there is always an explanation (once happend because of a protein shake, another time was because of 8-10 candies i ate right after lunch). So again i'm here doing researches on what caused me this effect. I've noticed celery makes me bloating, and for lunch i had rice with vegetables including celery, carrots and zucchini. Could it be that just a little bit of celery made me go to the bathroom causing a laxative effect?
  20. I have been convincing myself that i am perfectly fine, my stool has been more or less normal. But i guess that i am unlucky and when i find peace of mind something happens to scare me again.Just half an hour ago, when i was going to sleep, i had to go to the bathroom. A normal poop, but the strange thing i already did 2 times today. It happened to me in the past to go 3 times, but it has been a long time i didn't go 3 times.So now you will say "it's not a big thing". But as an hypocondriac i'm already thinking the worst :- tomorrow i will go 3 times again _ it will mean i had a change in bowel movements and something is wrong with me_ i will wake up and i won't go to the bathroom and my bowel movement times will change.I'm trying to think what made me go 3 tmes today, maybe some boiled vegetables i ate for dinner made me go, since i don't eat boiled vegetables normally.Well, tomorrow will be a full day waiting and thinking about bowel movements !i thought i was gettin out of it...
  21. 1 - you do not have throat cancer 2- my dad had throat cancer. he was a pipe and cigars smoker, but he had it when he turned 73. I won't tell you how painful was his journey, but let me tell you as more users here told you : go out and buy a lottery ticket right now, you have way more chances to win the lottery than to have cancer at your age (ESPECIALLY THROAT CANCER, WHO'S TYPICAL IN OLDER SMOKERS)
  22. Hi guys, thanks for your words. My main problems are in the morning, and the thing that it looks like my bowel is a lot more sensitive to junk food now. I mean i literally cannot eat junk food or i will have really soft (mild diarrhea) stool in the morning. Yesterday in the afternoon i ate 2 chinese spring rolls in the afternoon and here i am, the same problem. Would it be my age? maybe i'm just more sensitive to some kind of foods? Another thing i want to ask you (if any here had colon cancer fears and did some researches), is the BOWEL ULTRASOUND a valuable exam? I read different things online, they even did a study and realized that if well done it can see cancers, polyps and obstructions of the bowel
  23. Hi guys, I've already told my story, but I can't find peace. It all started while I was in South America for work, I started to have abdominal bloating, small pains, and since I am a hypochondriac, it was enough to make me think of colon cancer. Back in Italy the abdominal swelling disappeared, but I still went to pay a visit to the gastroenterologist, who gave me a bowel ultrasound, search my abdomen for eventual masses, did an abdominal echo. everything turned out normal and the doctor told me not to worry. But I now control my stools every day. I became obsessed with their consistency, I always go twice a day, at the same times. My fears, however, are related to the consistency of my feces, which varies from number 4 to 6 on the Bristol scale. Almost always in the morning I have very creamy stools, which then improve in the afternoon and are a little more formed. I never saw blood in my stool, my bowel movement did not increase, I did not lose weight and I did a test for anemia, negative. Yet every time I have creamy stools I panic. I can say i felt better for some days, then something trigger my anxiety back, i start reading the stories of colon cancer survivors, and i start to think again "i am sure i have it too".As always, what triggers my fear is the stool appereance and consistency. I still go twice a day, and again, in the morning the stool is 8 of 10 times mushy. I started again eating long leaves vegtables two nights ago, rocket salad (arugula) especially. Yesterday in the afternoon i did good with well formed stool, perfect brown color, and i thought "WOW, maybe i just needed more of these vegtables". So in the night i ate more, and this morning i had an horrible looking mushy stool, a small quantity, greeny (i guess from the vegtables), with some gases, and that just was sufficient to make me feel horrible again, i started to think that something must be wrong, that i cannot have my stool changing so much without having something serious. And then...Dr Google did his job.It's so hard. I think i may ask for a colonscopy to the gastroenterologist that saw me, but he was the one saying i don't need one.Sometimes a voice rationally tries to speak to me, asking me "do you really have any bowel cancer symptoms?" . I have no blood in the stools, i did a quick anemy test (the home made kits you buy online) one month ago and came back negative, no weight lost.Do i have what may be called "change in bowel movements"? From what i read, a change is really going more, or going less, and i go like always, twice a day, morning and afternoon. Yes, my stool has been varying from 4 to 6 in the bristol scale, but as a doctor told me "unformed stool are not pathological", and also i must say, maybe i've always gone like that and didn't notice, didn't pay attention to it (i remember always going soft more than hard in my life). And sure, cancer does not show many signs, but if one that way, then i could be having in this moment brain cancer, lung cancer etc.My mind is exploding. I live waiting for the next bowel movement to feel better or worse. I don't want to live like that, i can't even work. Any help would be appreciated, thanks
  24. well guys, after this morning i woke up and went to the bathroom perfectly (great stool lol), i was feeling fine and tried no to get anxious. But it looks like i'm not so lucky. In the morning i had a shake that i always have for the gym (2 eggs, protein powder, peanuts butter) and then after i ate pasta for lunch i had to go to the bathroom and i had a mild diarrea episode. My mom laughs at me saying anybody would have these kind of episodes having the shake i have in the morning...And frankly is the first time i have this powder and i put it in my shake. So a logic person would think that was the reason BUT since i'm not in a logic moment of my life, the worst thoughts fullfilled my mind again, and i'm thinking again that this wouldn't happen to an healthy person, that i must have colon cancer, that i should have a total check right now, that i can't wait one week for the gastro appointment, and then at the same time i'm scared he will tell me to do a colonscopy, because if he says so then he 's thinking that i have something serious....then i think that if he won't examinate me much i will keep with my anxiety... Horrible, i'm in the hole again
  25. MS was my "anxiety passion" last year. I had all the symptoms, especially tingling in one side of the body. I also remember waking up every day expecting to lose the view of one eye (typical ms symptoms), and so much i waited that i remember clearly waking up with eye pain one day. I went to a neurologist who immediately understood i was crazy (lol), and nearly kicked me out of the hospital. Since the second i was outside the hospital i didn't have a single symptoms. But don't worry, i already have new deadly diseases to think about