Booandlou

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About Booandlou

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  1. @Jgriffin Hi, yes they did. Normal, but slightly elevated gamma GT, I'm trying not to work myself over it. Thankyou so much for thinking of me. This past week or so has been absolutely unbearable at times. I'm exhausted from it all, and even though I have a slight respite from my worries for now, I know HA fluctuates and so I am already bracing myself for the next onslaught of worry over another or similar illness. In the meantime I'm going to work on my physical fitness (and hopefully mental health) and start to work on 'acceptance' of it all. Hope you're ok as well?
  2. Thankyou so much @Anais it does sound like you understand!! I'm 35 and I have 2 young children so I have a terror I wont see them grow up. I do feel i haven't achieved enough yet in my life, even though I have a good job. I struggle to talk to people when I am bad, and even at work, I'm obsessively checking signs of things in others, for example, my eyes are quite veiny/being bloodshot and I always think everyone else's eyes look so clear and healthy! I have been a party animal in the past, ironically alcohol being the one thing that in that moment does calm panic, but I've cut down and almost stopped drinking these days as the days after the panic amplified so badly. It's not worth it! Xx
  3. @Carrie thankyou my lovely. I keep doing my calm app, mindfulness does help me for short periods. I keep looking at my kids thinking I'll never see them grow up which is so distressing. I think it definitely stems from a friend dying at a younger age and hearing about other mums passing away at younger ages too. I know that doesn't mean it will automatically happen to me, but the fear is immense. Xx
  4. Thankyou so much Carrie. It's just nice to know I'm not alone, although I would never wish anyone to experience the level of distress HA can cause. People around me are so lovely and caring but cant and won't probably understand my level of fear, so it's an incredibly lonely place. I wake up shaking and crying and in true terror... that I may leave my young children and never see them grow up!!! Thankyou. X
  5. Hi, I'm new too, only joined last week, and I have found it very supportive and helpful, HA is a lonely place. You are amongst friends. Xx
  6. Absolutely stress can cause such symptoms, my first ever true HA issues started because I had a fear of that I'd caught HIV or herpes from an ex, as it was insinuated I had- and I genuinely felt every sensation down below that might indicate something, even including night sweats, when I got the all clear, the symptoms went. Literally almost straight away. But I know it can take time to subside if you've been highly distressed for so long. Symptoms can hang around for a while. I do mindfulness apps such as Calm and I find it helps me for a little time. I'm sure you are fine, but i honestly genuinely understand your fear as I have my own HA issues and they are currently terrible. I wouldnt wish it on anyone.
  7. @Nutmegbella thankyou for your message, it means a lot to have someone answer me and just provide support. The fear completely takes over my life and becomes unmanageable. I'm starting to get doctor phobia too, when before I was completely obsessed with the doctors. It's so unbelievable to have your brain create exact pain where in the body your fears are concentrating such as liver/kidneys etc.
  8. Just to add- postnasal drip can make your throat sore too, and if you have pain then a violent cough can certainly cause that pain too, have you spoken to a doctor to get reassurance? Xx
  9. Hi lovely, I've had a chesty mixed with dry cough for 2 and half weeks, I've been to doctor and told it is postnasal drip, because I had a bit of a cold too and it's just that continuing to drip down, it's worse for me in mornings especially and I think this is because of the mucus pooling a little in the night, so don't worry. My fear is that my body doesn't seem to be fighting it off, but from talking to many people they've said it could be change in seasons and postnasal drip and coughs can take ages to dissipate (weeks!) ... so I'm holding onto that really. I'm sure yours will be something similar? My cough when I laugh makes me almost sick from hacking and coughing that much like a real coughing fit!! Hugs xx
  10. Hi Anais, still waiting on results, coming in tomorrow, I've just posted this morning, I am in a really bad way, not coping at all. Completely beside my self with worry. It's a bank holiday, so I've had to wait an extra day. I'm truly terrified. Xx
  11. Hi, so I get my blood results back tomorrow, I've spent the last week or so in an extremely high state of anxiety. My parents and my partner are having a difficult time managing me as I wake up sobbing and shaking in fear. I'm taking fluoxetine and diazepam but am nearly out of the diazepam, (they don't prescribe many generally in the UK due to risk of addiction). I can barely eat and I wake up in the night with sweats. I'm convinced I have liver damage , I can feel sensations in that area, plus now this last few days my stools are slightly lighter than normal, still brown (sorry for too much info) but slightly yellowish. Googling this has obviously said it can be food, but also liver/pancreas issues.... Could anxiety and stress cause these issues? I do have IBS as well, which is flaring I think due to the stress. But I am almost completely having a breakdown with fear and worry. Can I ask: does anyone else get so so unwell with worry over tests? Like beyond normal anxiety and completely terrified?
  12. Anais and JGriffin: not had any results back yet. Got to wait till Tuesday, in the meantime I'm waking up and having full panic attacks and pacing and crying. I'm terrified. I can feel the area of my liver, and I am now having brown-slightly yellowish stools too which can be a sign of liver problems. I'm so so scared out of my mind xx
  13. I hope so. I'm so scared tbh. It's taken over my life- my thoughts are preoccupied by it.
  14. Hi all, I've been in a severe episode of HA for days now. I feel so unwell, in a new job, so trying to push through and not show my anxiety is awful. I'm shaking, panicky, head is fuzzy, I am terrified for my blood tests tomorrow, terrified. I just know they will find something bad, my liver levels will be bad- and then I'll be in such a state. Why did I request the test!!? I'm so frightened.
  15. Thankyou Jonathan. I will do my best to calm and try to become a little more accepting of the condition and its symptoms!