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Everything posted by bedcat

  1. Thanks for the reassuring comment. There is no doubt that my back is tight as well as sore. Massage seems to help somewhat but as you say, I think stress has so much to do with it. I think the reason that I was so worried was that I was experiencing abdominal pain as well, and of course linked that to the worst case scenario. My abdominal pain is better in the last week though, so I'm encouraged by that. Thanks again.
  2. Thank you lofwyr - it is definitely intermittent and that is a huge reassuring factor.
  3. My back is hurting a lot today and I'm fixating on it. It feels like the muscles on either side of my upper back, right next to my spine, are sore. Mostly my left, and I can feel it a bit in my left arm and hand as well - not pain or tingling exactly, but just "there". I haven't done anything to injure my back but I'm always hunching my shoulders due to stress and don't have great sitting posture so I'm wondering if that could be what's causing the strain. I read (I know ) that upper back pain is caused by "sinister" things more than lower back pain, so of course my mind won't stop. It's not like I've never had back pain before, but I'm in a terrible period of anxiety right now so I can't stop thinking about it. I'm wondering, is it really possible for pain to worsen just by thinking about it constantly?
  4. Thanks both of you for replying. I actually do have abdominal pain intermittently which is what sparked the fear as I know that that combined with back pain can be a symptom of pancreatic cancer. But it doesn't feel like the abdominal pain is radiating exactly, it feels like they're two separate things. I'm so mentally exhausted from this. I would give anything to let it go. I just wish I knew how. I have two counselling appointments set up for next week as well as a follow-up with my GP so I'm hoping next week I'll be able to start to get a handle on my anxiety. I have had a normal ultrasound and a bunch of normal blood tests. My doctor didn't want to do a CT scan as she felt it wasn't necessary. She did say if my stomach wasn't improving that she would refer me for an upper endoscopy but that "it would take months". I'm unsure as to whether I should push for a CT scan or not? Would it just make things worse for me? The anticipatory anxiety would be almost unbearable I think, as well as waiting to hear the results, and who knows whether or not I would be reassured anyway. Should I just try to believe her or would it be worth it to ask for more testing? I just don't know. Thanks again
  5. I feel a little bit silly posting again but I just found this forum and I'm feeling so terrible lately and in need of help and reassurance. I'm so fearful that I have pancreatic cancer and lately my back has been hurting a lot - a lot of soreness in the upper back and shoulders and there is also a spot in the middle of my spine that when I press on it it really hurts. The upper back soreness feels a lot like tense muscles but the spot on my spine is different, it really only hurts when I press on it. I have read that pancreatic cancer causes back pain so of course this is where my mind is going, but I can't find anything that explains what that type of back pain feels like. Just wondering if anyone has experienced having a tender or sore spot on their spine and what it could be?
  6. MARC, thanks for replying and really sorry to hear about your half uncle. I think that's what scares me the most about pancreatic cancer, how fast and deadly it is.
  7. Thanks again. I just found this forum and am finding some comfort in reading the posts. I just wish the temporary reassurance would last. I'll have short periods of time where I'll feel confident that I don't have anything life-threatening but the worry always comes back.
  8. I appreciate your reply more than I can say! My doctor prescribed a proton pump inhibitor for possible reflux and I've been taking it for a few weeks and I think it may have helped a bit? It's hard to say, I don't feel nauseated as much and my appetite has improved somewhat but I still have the nagging upper abdominal pain and back pain. What I don't get is why these symptoms seemed to come on so suddenly - I have had some indigestion in the past but only very intermittently but then in October, it just seemed to come out of nowhere - some days are better than others but it always comes back. I'm 43 so fairly young for pancreatic cancer but it's not out of the realm of possibility. I've never smoked and I'm a non-drinker but telling myself logical facts over and over doesn't seem to help much. I am starting therapy next week so I'm hopeful that will help me. Thank you again for taking the time to reply.
  9. Hi Hypomania, I just posted a thread about my fear of pancreatic cancer and then was doing some looking around and found yours. Our fears sound pretty similar except that my symptoms are a little different, I'm suffering from indigestion, mid-abdominal discomfort and intermittent back pain. I haven't had any stool/urine problems or weight loss (maybe a few pounds since it started as I haven't been eating as much) and my ultrasound and blood tests came back normal. I've been feeling these symptoms for almost three months and have SEVERE health anxiety that I'm sure is affecting my symptoms but I'm still convinced it's PC. Your thread helped me, especially the post where you listed the reasons why it ISN'T cancer. Anyway, I know this thread is a bit older but I thought I'd post anyway, hope you have gotten some resolution for your symptoms.
  10. Hi there, My problems started almost three months ago when I woke up in the middle of the night with bad nausea and it triggered a panic attack. Since then, I've been struggling with digestive problems like upper abdominal pain, nausea, burping, and loss of appetite. I mostly don't enjoy food anymore and only eat because I'm afraid of losing weight. I'm also experiencing some upper back pain that comes and goes. Usually, the abdominal pain and back pain isn't severe, it's just bothersome and "there" and never seems to go away completely. It's never been severe enough that I've needed to go to the ER, but I have made numerous trips to my GP. Through Google, which I know is terrible but I can't help it, I've convinced myself I have pancreatic cancer. My anxiety is severe, and has impacted my life hugely in the last couple of months to the point where I have had to take a leave of absence from work. I'm also very depressed. I take 100mg of Zoloft a day which I don't think has been working at all, and Ativan when the anxiety gets so bad that I can't handle the horrible feelings anymore (I only have three left and I don't think my doctor is going to give me more which is causing me to worry more.) I'm trying so hard to hide this terrible anxiety from my children (13 and 11) but I know they sense something is totally off with me. I've had an ultrasound of my abdomen which has been normal, as well as numerous normal blood and urine tests, but I've read that ultrasound can miss pancreatic cancer. My doctor is reluctant to give me further tests like a CT scan because of all my normal results. I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday and I'm going to ask again for more tests, and I also have an appointment with a psychotherapist on Tuesday. I'm fully aware that my anxiety may be making my symptoms worse, but that doesn't help with the fear of pancreatic cancer. I've had bad health anxiety in the past, but nothing like this. It's truly ruining my life, and I can't even remember what it was like to feel normal. I'm just all around terrified. I wondered if anyone had any advice or words of reassurance. Thanks for reading.