travelgirl77

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  1. A couple things: I have calf pain that led me to the ER this morning for fear of DVT (I did just have a cross country flight) where they did an ultrasound and found no blood clot. My calf still hurts and I am convinced they missed the clot. My left index finger has random twitches (my whole body does), but I am most aware of that one. It is almost my period, so my breasts are tender, so of course BC And, then my most prevalent worry, my kids are not acting right or complaining of pain, so they must have brain tumors. It does not take much to send me in a spiral.
  2. Yes, I am with you on this. The health anxiety I have with my children is so much worse than the anxiety I have for myself. I have a specific fear regarding brain tumors for my kids and I can quickly and daily go into a spiral. I worry that my worry is impacting them as well, which is horrible. We love them so much so it is understandable. I can completely empathize with you. The fact that there was a legitimate diagnosis in your family, I can absolutely understand why you would have this anxiety. There are many therapists who specialize in helping parents cope with these issues relating to anxiety over an illness. You may want to ask your doctor or your daughter's treatment team for a recommendation. I am sorry that you are having to go through this because I know what a deep darkness it is.
  3. I am just sick with worry and dread for this Friday. I keep waking up and thinking, "I have CC." I keep picturing my life shortened by this. I just know they are going to find something wrong. I also feel myself growing in toward myself, if that makes sense. I don't want to talk to my husband nor my parents. I am just consumed by this dread and it is almost impossible to shake. I can only imagine the state that I will be in come Friday.
  4. Ugh. I am scared poopless. I knew about the whole pooping out everything, but didn’t realize you starve the day before. Good luck to you as well.
  5. This sounds like classic IBS nothing more. And the more you focus on it, the more it is going to act up. If it has only been a week, that is really not a change in bowel habits. I often have looser stools, depending on my anxiety, what I eat, etc. the brain gut connection is unbelievable. Right now my stomach is a mess as I wait for colonoscopy on Friday for legit blood after looser stools. I am petrified. i am, however, confident yours is IBS.
  6. Thank you again for the replies. One week to the colonoscopy. I am sick with worry. I keep reading your stories (and on other anxiety sites), thinking yes, you were lucky, but it will not be that way for me. My daughter (the sensitive one) said to me last night, out of the blue, "I want you to be around when I am a grown-up" Killing me, just killing me. All I can do is be satisfied that I am going in at the first sighting of blood. I am scared every single morning when I go to the bathroom, for fear I will see blood again. I almost see myself walking out as a C patient. I have had breast ultrasounds, pelvic ultrasounds, MRIs, etc. and this is definitely the most fearful I have ever, ever been. I think there is a reason for that.
  7. Thank you for the replies. I am older than 25 though, which is worrying, and I have family history of CC. I know that I am doing the right thing by getting checked for this one instance of blood, but I am beside myself with worry over CC. I keep thinking, "this will be my last weekend before C;" My daughter is ultra sensitive and keeps kissing and holding my hand, telling me what a great mom I am. It is like she knows something. I feel like if it was hemmies or a fissure it would continue bleeding on and off. This was like a normal poop, wipe blood, some blood in the bowl, and now nothing for a week. Like a bleeding polyp or mass. I am so sad. I only see one outcome.
  8. Thanks for the advice. But, doesn't a fissure hurt? There was no real pain...maybe some stinging, but that could have been from the looser stool. I am just so scared.
  9. Hello! Last week after a loose bowel movement I wiped and there was blood. There was also some in the toilet. This is the first time this has happened and being older at 41 and having a grandparent die of CC, I am petrified. I thought for a minute it could be hemmies, but I read a story of another anxiety member who also thought their bleeding was hemmies and it turned out to be CC, so I feel like I cannot go by the whole "red blood is ok" thing. I saw a GI, who didn't examine me, but scheduled a colonoscopy for next week. I am convinced that this is it. I can picture the doctor telling my husband that they found a mass, being on chemo, the whole nine. Of course, my tummy has been a mess since this day with a lot looser stools, which I guess is to be expected, except now I think, why do I have loose stools? Is that another symptom? I am barely eating (just enough to not get headaches) and barely sleeping. HELP! I will say that prior to this day I had driven about 7 hours home and I did eat some bean dip with jalapenos, but I read that spicy food cannot aggravate hemmies.