Hypomania

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  1. Hypomania

    Anyone ever had soft tissue sarcoma fear?

    Haha not sure. I think my mom has a few, but there's no way she has as many as I have. And yeah, lipomas can definitely be deep seated. I have a couple that are buried in there, and aren't as soft as typical lipomas. It's rare, but you can even get them internally.
  2. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    Still can't shake the feeling that something's wrong. I've had this tightness in my right lower ribs for a month now. I only started noticing it after I initially got that call from the doctors office, and it hasn't gotten worse, but I cant stop thinking it's a tumor on my pancreas...
  3. Hypomania

    Anyone ever had soft tissue sarcoma fear?

    Hi Ellebel, I also have these, and had a similar scare a long time ago. They're lipomas, fatty cyst like lumps that are in or under the skin. I have lots of them. In my arms, abdomen, legs, and back.
  4. Hypomania

    Pan-can freakout

    Hey Davide, I can totally relate to this. I'm going through a pancan fear myself, and despite doctors reassurance, the reassurance from the kind folks on here who have seen PC first hand, and clear tests, I am still worried I have it. Now, your question is interesting, because in the absence of symptoms, you simply don't know if you have ANY disease, barring a myriad of tests. But just because you're worried about a disease that is generally asymptomatic until late stage, does not mean that you have it at an early stage, in fact, on the absence of symptoms, you can most likely assume that you don't have it. It's really the same with any disease: if you have no symptoms, why would you think you have one? I feel your pain though, I'm currently feeling the same way about PC. I have no symptoms, but still suffer through intrusive "what if" thoughts. I think this comes more from a fear of POTENTIALLY getting it, but that's just my own thinking.
  5. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    Oh, just to add,I have actually been googling it, butI actually found some articles that are reassuring that I re-read if I need to. Not usually how google works in this situation, I know
  6. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    It's so crazy, because I've been checked out, nothing was found, and I have none of the symptoms. Even the symptoms I "had" weren't really what I thought they were... yet I'm still worried about having pancan. I don't know if I'm now stuck in a perpetual state of worry,just by the mere idea that I have it or will have it in the future.
  7. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    I try to go into a meditative state, but it's hard during periods of high anxiety. For example, this morning I woke up trembling with fear, and tried to focus on my breathing etc. But the mind wanders back to the catastrophic thoughts. Maybe I need more practice
  8. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    I hear you on that. I'm currently in a mindset where almost everything will trigger my HA at the moment. No matter how many times I realize that my "symptoms" are not what I initially thought they were. It's exhausting.
  9. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    That's what conventional and rational wisdom says (it's called the "silent killer" for a reason). I, of course, think I'm always the exception to the rule, and the 1 case in a million. My mind is incredibly overactive. I tend to overthink everything, even outside of my anxiety
  10. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    Sorry for bumping my old thread, but I think I just need someone to smack me upside the head. So, I'm deep in the pancan rabbit hole still, and it seems like every time I am able to stop panicking over one "symptom" another pops up. So, even after a clear ultrasound, I'm still scared that it missed a pancreatic tumor, and for a while I was certain that I wasn't digesting fat. In my last post I realized that was I thought was fat, was actually my generic effexor xr pills. I then thought that I had sudden onset diabetes because my pancreas failed, but my diabetes "symptoms" subsided. Then, I thought I was seeing an oily film after a bowel movement, but it turned out to be caused by my urine. For a while I was relieved, then I noticed again that there was a bit of undigested white food in my stool, and I am back to thinking that my pancreas is no longer producing digestive enzymes, either because it's very damaged, or a tumor is blocking the duct that sends the enzymes to the intestines. How crazy is this fear? I sincerely think that I have a tumor that developed exactly where the end of the duct is, that is just big enough to halt digestion,but small enough to not be detected. I woke up this morning on the verge of a panic attack over this.
  11. Hypomania

    Increase Anxiety In the Winter

    I don't know if it's the cold, but my HA is always worse in the winter. I assumed it's due to shorter sunlight window.
  12. Hypomania

    Right side of stomach sticks out further than the left

    I'm starting to agree with Bobnatt you may be trolling.
  13. Hi Scardey, I've been going through a similar fears. Started with a routine blood test that showed slightly elevated liver enzymes and triggered a liver cancer fear... then a pancreatic cancer fear (I don't really know how I made that link). I've since had a repeat blood test and an ultrasound (which was only ordered to put my mind at ease) which were both normal obviously, as hypochondriacs, these normal results never help. Point is, I'm also seeing what I THINK is similar things to you in my stool, but I don't know for sure if it's oil, or stray fecal matter from my loose stools etc. I have a very high fat diet, so it may just be a result of what I eat, and I'm guessing, as you mentioned earlier, it's likely the case with you as well. Where are you getting your info from when you say that fat appears in stool when your pancreas is only functioning at 10%, or the proper amount of fat that is in stool based on diet? I think if our pancreas was 90% failing, there would be much more obvious symptoms. I also haven't had a "normal" bowel movement in about a month, as they range in textures and colors, but that started as soon as I became anxious about my health... which is common, and can last as long as we stay anxious. Point being, I'm seeing very similar things in some of my bowel movements as you, and my US showed nothing sinister and my bloodwork was fine.
  14. Hypomania

    hypochondria rituals

    Oh man, I self check CONSTANTLY when I'm in a state. Lately I've been worried about liver/pancreas cancer, so I would do things like checking the whites of my eye, examining my stool, staring at my urine color, grabbing the fat on my abdomen and examine the curve of my stomach (checking for weight loss and to see if one side sticks out more), and poking around my ribs to see if anything is enlarged. The rituals are brutal, and I'm thankful my girlfriend is so kind and supportive instead of running for the hills haha. Even though this is extremely difficult to break, it has to be done. My personal experience with rituals is that while you may think you're doing it to make sure the problem doesn't exist, we really do it until we "confirm" our "medical issues". One example, I was examining the toilet bowl water after a bowel movement to check for fat or oil, I had to get so close with my phone flashlight and I seen some clear swirls and specks left over and immediately determined it was oil being passed due to a failed pancreas. In no normal situation would anybody have noticed this, but since it's a ritual of mine, I examine and examine, almost unsatisfied until i "see" what I'm looking for. It's a painful experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.
  15. Hypomania

    Freaking Out About Pancreatic Cancer. Please help!

    I do have a therapist who's helping me. I actually just started CBT training with her, but its extremely expensive (to me anyway) so I can only afford to go once or twice a month. In the meantime Fishman on NMP sent me some useful self help stuff the other night. So, gross update for all concerned: the weird yellow orb thing isn't fat. It is my generic effexor pills. One came through me so fast this am that I actually ended up seeing the dosage printed on the side lol. Obviously that gives me some more reassurance that my pancreas is fine and digesting fats properly. Obviously that doesn't stop me from staring at my stool colors and noting that they're a lighter brown than usual and really loose etc.