Jay.E

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Jay.E last won the day on May 25

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  1. Thank you so much for your wonderful answer. This is all kind of new for me. Yes, I was in therapy for a couple of months. But, I definitely think I need to get back to it. I have an appointment with a new therapist next Saturday. Fingers crossed, it will work out just fine. I never even thought of OCD before this whole thing started with Muscle twitches. But, when I think about it, I've always been a bit of a worrier. I would worry about the house burning down and would obsess over making sure that the alarms are all working, and even go so far as to worry about the neighbours not tending to their own alarms (since our houses are attached to one another). Change always made me feel extremely uncomfortable and I would worry about said change. As a kid I remember having nightmares of losing my mother. It seems I've always had issues with intrusive thoughts and compulsions, but I never put it all together. The HA is what brought this to the forefront for me. I really hope therapy helps. I'm just exhausted of feeling constantly anxious and worrying incessantly.
  2. Hello, I've been dealing with severe Health anxiety for the past nine months. It all started in October 2017, when I started experiencing body-wide twitching. Of course, I made the mistake of Googling and that lead me to fears of ALS. I was a total wreck for 2 months straight, I was so afraid and depressed. Luckily, after finding this website, seeing a neurologist and doing some tests, I started feeling a lot better. But of course as you know HA ebbs and flows. While I definitely feel a lot better than I did in the beginning, I'm still struggling with HA. I've noticed as the months went by that thoughts of this disease are never far from my mind. It is sometimes the very first thought I have when I wake up in the morning. I can't control these thoughts, they seem to be lingering in the back of my mind, and constantly resurfacing. I ended up even developing some compulsions, like constantly wiping the side of my mouth to verify if I'm drooling, or obsessively examining my hands. All of my fears right now are centred around my left hand, and the discrepancies between the two hands. I can't fight the compulsion to constantly look at my hands and examine them closely. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. My family members have asked me why I keep looking at my hands.....which was very awkward since I needed to come up with a story quickly. Someone mentioned, upon discussing my unusual compulsions, that it sounds like OCD. Honestly, I was just coming to terms with having HA at that point, so I wasn't open to the idea of adding OCD to the list. However, now it's been 9 months and I can clearly see that I do in fact have thoughts and compulsions I can not control. I no longer recognize myself. I feel like I'm morphing into an obsessive, anxious creature that is constantly worrying about every single little discrepancy and body sensation. Does any of this sound familiar to any of you? Is this OCD? Does HA usually lead to OCD? Thank you in advance for your feedback.
  3. Jay.E

    I Don't Even Know Anymore

    Hello Angelica, I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much. I know exactly what it feels like to be in that kind of state of mind. However, rest assured that the tingling, shortness of breath, and the dizziness are all classic anxiety symptoms. I've had them, and still get my fair share of it. I think it is quite normal to have some apprehension about one's health when you've had to deal with some real health problems. It tends to make us hyperaware about our health, which of course can trigger health anxiety. It is good that you are in therapy and taking meds for your anxiety. Just take it one day at a time, this is a long process. Remind yourself when you are having these symptoms that they are fuelled by your anxiety. You'll notice that as your anxiety diminishes, so will these symptoms.
  4. Jay.E

    I’m back and losing it again...

    The compulsion to Google endlessly seems to go hand in hand with hyperawareness. Usually for me, it starts with becoming hyperaware about certain part of my body (lately it is my left hand), then I start noticing some discrepancies, which of course end up fuelling the compulsion to Google in search of reassurance. And of course, I think we all know by now that nothing good ever comes out of Googling symptoms. I've been dealing with HA pertaining to ALS for the past 9 months, and I've noticed that it ebb and flows. Have you noticed anything that might trigger the anxiety about Melanoma for you? Sometimes figuring out the triggers and avoiding them helps.
  5. Hello Holls, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. You have been through so much already. I know how difficult it is when your loved ones are afflicted by this disease.The sister of one of my very close friends was diagnosed with breast cancer some years ago. Then in the span of a year, my dad and my uncle died of liver and lung cancer. I often jokingly say, that I'm no longer scared of Cancer at this rate. It runs in my family so I always think that they're might a chance. You are such an amazing and loving person, I can see why this is hitting you so hard. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. This kind of trauma has an undeniable impact in one's mental health, so please take care of yourself Holls. I don't quite know what to say, other than I'm here for you my friend. Feel free to reach out to me anytime you need to talk.
  6. Jay.E

    Tongue fatigue is scaring me

    Hello Holls, It's been a while indeed, how are things on your end my friend? Thank you so much for putting this into perspective for me. The back of my tongue used to go numb when I first started having body-wide twitching. It would just go numb like I've had anesthesia there, and then the numbness would migrate to my throat. The same thing happened last night, expect this time the back of my tongue got super tired instead of numb. Within a few minutes (15 minutes or so) this also travelled to my throat, and it started feeling super tight and odd. Today, the sensation is not as pronounced but it is still lingering on. The moment I think about it a bit or pay attention to the sensation, it increases in intensity. When I'm anxious my arms and tights start twitching like crazy as well. Anxiety is such a weird condition with its thousands of symptoms. Thank you for responding Holls Sending big, warm hugs your way.
  7. Jay.E

    Stupid medical commercials!

    Hello Sumotherguy, I'm kind of new to health anxiety myself. But, I know that for me exposure is not an option. Willingly exposing myself to something that will trigger and fuel my anxiety and make me lose control over my emotions is not an option for me. I know myself, my mind holds on to every possible little detail and it will feed my anxiety to no end. Some people swear by exposure therapy, but I don't think it works for everyone. I know it will send me to the psychiatric ward howling. I like to avoid those triggers as much as possible and find ways of rationalizing those I can't avoid. You shouldn't feel that you are being "a coward" for choosing what works for you. Don't force yourself into doing something that makes you miserable and anxious.
  8. Hello all, Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the summer. I haven't posted in a while, I've been trying to find ways of distracting my mind to keep those anxious thoughts away. While at times I'm able to focus on other things and feel generally optimistic about the future, there are moments where I slid right back into anxiety-mode. Tonight is one of those. It is 3:50 am in my neck of the woods and I'm unable to sleep...too anxious. I've been finishing up an essay, and I usually like to read it aloud to hear how it sounds. I've read it a couple of times while making the necessary changes when suddenly my jaw started aching and the back of my tongue started to feel tired. I felt like I was having a hard time pronouncing words and that I might be slurring. Of course panic set in immediately as the back of my tongue felt super fatigued. Eventually (and out of desperation) I resorted to recording myself while reading the essay aloud. I listened to the audio and thankfully no slurring detected, but the weird fatigue sensation persists. At times it seems to lessen and then it comes back. It even migrated to the back of my throat which now feels fatigued and odd as well. I'm trying to be rational about this. I've been concerned about tongue twitches and tongue paresthesia, so of course my first thought is that this tongue fatigue might be a result of tongue related anxiety. I've been concerned about mispronouncing words throughout the night, so I'm thinking that might have fuelled my present predicament as well. But of course, there is this voice screaming in my mind that it could be something else....something serious and fatal. Have any of you ever felt tongue fatigue from talking or reading aloud too much? Has your anxiety affected your tongue or speech? Thanks in advance for all the feedback folks
  9. Jay.E

    Stupid medical commercials!

    I avoid commercials and TV shows focusing on diseases. I realized that even if the condition in question is not a trigger of mine, it tends to put in a frame of mind where my thoughts end up going back to my triggers. It just makes me feel uncomfortable, so I avoid them all together. Not always easy, but the moment I realize what it is about I change the channel. I hope this helps.
  10. Hello Holls, YES! I wish I never became aware of this disease or read so much on it in the beginning. I have full blown OCD behaviour now, and it is exhausting. I realize what I'm doing and why, but I just can't seem to be able to snap out of it. Sending you lost of warm hugs
  11. Hello everyone, I hope you've all been doing well. I first came to this forum about 6 months ago in complete and utter panic. I suddenly started having body wide twitching in October 2017, and of course after googling those same symptoms, I became afraid that I might be dying of ALS. After seeing a neurologist and doing an EMG, I was cleared of the illness I feared. However, even with that reassuring news, I continued to have a lot of anxiety about this disease, and the continued twitching did nothing to calm my fears. I was super lucky to meet a lot of great and supportive people on this forum who helped me through the worse bouts of my anxiety. I decided to begin therapy as well to deal with the HA and the constant hyperawareness. I've never been in therapy before, so this is all new to me. I'm not sure if my therapist is really getting me or taking my issues seriously. I often feel defeated after a session, and just end up crying in the bathroom. I don't know if I'm being impatient (it's only been 3 1/2 months), or if I should be seeing some results by now. I understand that I will most likely have to deal with HA for the remainder of my life, but I just want the hyperawareness to stop. My hyperawareness these days extends to my family members as well. Every time my mother chokes on her food/drink or drops the remote control, my heartbeat spikes and dark thoughts of this terrible disease resurface, where I know wonder if she has it. I have turned into a complete basket case. Have any of you heard anything about hypnotherapy being useful in helping with health anxiety? Is there anything else other than therapy that helped you in overcoming HA? Thanks in advance folks,
  12. Jay.E

    TONGUE TWITCHES AGAIN

    Hello DoxieMoxie, So good to hear from you. You were so helpful when I first showed up here in tears, and here you are still help me get through my HA. You're a Godsend my friend. I'm definitely still struggling with some hypersensitivity. Body twitches don't bother me anymore, I'm use to it by now. It seems however that I'm still very leery of tongue twitches. I keep experiencing a lot of sensations on my tongue (tingling/slight numbness), and very often the tingling will spread to my hard palate. And of course the moment I start worrying about it, or start paying closer attention to it, the twitching shows up. Then I try to figure out if my anxiety is triggering the twitches, or if the twitches are triggering the anxiety.....and of course you can imagine how mind shattering that can be . Thank you so much DoxieMoxie, I can always count on you for some much needed perspective.
  13. Jay.E

    TONGUE TWITCHES AGAIN

    Good to hear I'm not the only one with a twitching/tingling tongue. Thank you so much for your response, it makes me feel a lot better.
  14. Jay.E

    TONGUE TWITCHES AGAIN

    Hello guys, I haven't been here in a few months, I've been feeling a lot better for the most part about my health anxiety. I've been a lot less stressed out, and slowly going back to my life. However, for the past few days, I've had these weird tongue symptoms. I've been experiencing some tongue twitches as well as some tingling like sensations on my hard palate from time to time. I'm not gonna lie, tongue twitches freak me out, I think I've read way to many scary stuff on Google in the beginning of my twitching saga. I'm a little puzzled because I thought I was doing relatively better anxiety wise. I still have some recurrent moments of fear and doubts about my twitching, but it is not as debilitating as it was in the very beginning in 2017 when I first started twitching. The fact that my anxiety is not as intense as it was in the beginning, but I'm still having these symptoms makes me more anxious......if that makes any sense lol. I guess what I'm wondering is how do you know you've overcome your health anxiety? Am I just mistaking a decrease in the intensity of my anxiety for a lack of anxiety? Are tongue twitches common in anxiety, and a signal that my HA is very much still there, even if I'm no longer having panic attacks like in the beginning? Obviously being here is an indication that I'm worried about the tongue twitches, and lo and behold I've been twitching all over tonight, as I focus more and more on my tongue. I'd really love to hear your perspective on this guys. Thanks in advance
  15. Hello Nutmegbella, Having food up your nose is very uncomfortable indeed. Thankfully, I haven't had any other incidents since...thank God, I'm not too keen on repeating that experience . I think, I'll take up chronicling my anxiety as you've suggested. It is true that in the initial rush of adrenaline and panic, you easily lose sight of reality. Many thanks again.