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NervUs last won the day on October 8 2018

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  1. Yes, I feel like there is a giant lump on one side. I have imagined swallowing issues, food not going down, the whole nine. I have become expert at directing my food to one side or the other to see if I notice differences going down (and I do). I believe it is from hyperfocusing.
  2. I get this, too. On my right side. I had it checked, and doc chalked it up to anxiety. I DO feel it more when I have anxiety or am hyperfocusing.
  3. Worry2Much....It is so hard when it's your kid. I have no evidence that a raccoon was even in there, but my mind went there pretty fast. I have rabies worries periodically, mostly because wildlife is always up in my grill, lol. There are a lot of raccoons in my town. I didn't notice paw prints, and like I said the feeder was not crushed (it was pretty fragile so a raccoon probably would have dinged it up). I guess that's why my mind is hyperfocusing on rabies-- because of my many experiences with raccoons (and bats, 'nother story lol) getting too close for comfort. I just imagine that a raccoon slobbered all over the feeder, or else wiped poop from its paw as it climbed to get the seed (they carry a gross parasite that is devastating when it gets inside children). Ack....normal people would not assume rabies was on a bird feeder raised off the ground, right? I am still thinking about this alot. Jonathan...raccoons are very cute mammals that have a bandit mask over the eyes. They are about the size of a medium sized dog and they are sick MFers, lol! They are rascally and mischievous and can be aggressive as all get out. They have adapted really well to the spread of the human population, so they thrive in cities and suburbs. They are omnivores and will eat absolutely anything. They have something like an opposable thumb, and they can manipulate things like trash can lids. They can wedge off the siding on your house to come in your attic. They can figure out dog doors. My son left a car door open one night, and it climbed in and left its vile paw prints all over the interior. They are curious, and they suck, lol. Because they live close to humans and get rabies at relatively high rates, they are a rabies disease vector in some parts of the US. There is more raccoon rabies in the south and east of the USA. I live close to the border of where they are prevalent, and they are a disease vector where I live. My county does bait, and we are not considered to have a huge problem with raccoon rabies. My county hasn't had cases this year, but there are two counties about 50 or more miles away that have had 1 or 2 pop up positive for rabies---- so, it's possible that raccoons here have it. You just never know. Most people who get rabies in the USA don't get it from raccoons, but that's because most people know that they have been bitten or come into contact so get the vaccine. Raccoons do like seed (it is part of their natural diet) and there are about a gazillion pics of raccoons getting into feeders on Google. The rabies virus can live on damp surfaces (like the soy butter) for a long time (like more than 24 hours) am of course thinking a raccoon foraged for the seeds and left saliva in that dampness (which would prolong the viruses life) and she put it right in her mouth, and you can catch rabies if it gets onto your mucus membrane (she ate it). The immune system can't deal with rabies and my mind goesstraight to that above other zoonotic things. That's my focus right now, I think, because of really long incubation and inevitable death. If she gets salmonella or something, I think she will live. A raccoon roundworm parasite would be really bad. They are not your average parasite and basically leave kids that get it vegetables (I know about that one because we had a raccoon latrine on our property. and a very high percentage of raccoons have the parasite, so we had to do serious cleanup). Of course, all of these diseases are really are on an anxiety site, so you know, I assume!
  4. I just picked up my 5 year old from daycare. She was eating bird seed from a bird feeder the kids had made using soy butter to stick (which would prolong the life of viruses and bacteria). Some kid told her to do it. I am a germaphobe and worry about animals spreading diseases. Not only am I thinking about the diseases birds could spread but also about raccoons that could have easily climbed up to the feeder. Please help me!! The feeder was hanging from a branch or something like that. It wasn't crushed or pulled down or anything. Do you think if a raccoon had gotten it, it would be off the branch or crushed in some way? Of course, I am wondering about rabies from them slobbering all over it (virus can survive in wet conditions for a while, and it is only like 60 degrees)., or even roundworms from poop they might have left. I have been doing so well with HA, and this seriously sucks!!
  5. I don't know what I think. Maybe you are tuned into something mystical, somewhere. I tend to be a sciency person and don't find answers on the supernatural. My only brush with something like you've explained is that, when I was trying to start my family, I had an uncanny knack for just knowing the sex of unborn babies. I went on a huge mommy website, and could accurately guess the sex of the women posting on that site like 98% of the time. I was wrong almost never. That went on while I was actively pregnant with my first and then trying for a second. After my younger son grew out of his baby stage, that superpowet went away. I did get pregnant a third time, but my guesing ability vanished by that point lol
  6. Glaucoma IS something that can pass through families. My mom has it, and I am in the pre-glaucoma stage. I know you don't want to hear that, but the best thing you can do for yourself is make regular eye appointments. Make it known that you have family members (inc a dad) with glaucoma, and they will run the proper tests on you. There is nothing to prevent glaucoma, but it is treatable. Drops are the first line of defense. From what I understand, very few people go blind from glaucoma when it's treated, especially if there has been little to no vision loss upon discovery. I know how easy it is to do, but try to not exaggerate what having glaucoma means. I am curious about your dad's eye pain-- does he have acute angle glaucoma? I am not aware that eye pain is a common part of glaucoma. I have painful eyes sometimes, but it is mild. Just curious.
  7. What have you tried to get the cough to go away?
  8. Wingnut.....Breathe. High blood pressure is not a sign on hantavirus. I have been this one more than once. I am not going to lie and say you face no risk. You were exposed to droppings, and there is a slim risk. The only thing you can do about it, though, is mention that you were exposed to a lot of droppings if you are sick enough to go to the ER and demand that they do the test for that particular virus. The symptoms start out as a bad flu and BODYACHES are a universal symptom. Now, I know you are going to start feeling bodyaches now, but try to really discern if they are true pains or imagination. One time, I was like 8 days into having been exposed to mousepoop, and I woke up with INTENSE body aches. I was like holy crap, this is hantavirus, this is really it---- until I remembered I had raked leaves the day before and I am realllllly out of shape, apparently. I did not go to the ER. Anxiety is going to cause a lot of symptoms in you that you are going to want to interpret as hantavirus, and that is the shitty hand of hypochondria. Remember, there is nothing a hospital can do for you right now. They can't prevent it, or tell if you will develop it until the virus has replicated enough. That is true of any virus and might not even happen until the middle of disease course. The only thing they can do is test you and test you if you are in bad enough shape to be admitted. I know how terrible this is, but you need to maintain your wits about you and stop LOOKING for signs.Quit it with the blood pressure checks. Live normally until the moment you feel so sick you can't stand up (that's what happens with the flu). At that point, since you might have been exposed, go in. But, honestly, the most likely reality is that you will NOT get sick like that and you will never have to go in and you will be fine.
  9. I am lumpy but they are not lipomas.Just weird random sh*t all over the place. Some of them have been suspicious for cancer, and I have had to go through various diagnostic processes. I feel like I've learned a whole lot more about cancer and how cancer is discovered since I've been through the "oh, the differential for this is cancer so we need to check" about 4 times. Benign everytime though!
  10. Oh crap! Just what you need. The impact of surgery makes the MOST sense though. That would be too much coincidence to have your lump for YEARS and only in the week or two after cancer does cancer appear visibly in your node. That does NOT add up. I just googled for you, and things in the neck do drain to axillary nodes. This time, I think we just need to trust Doctor G 🙂
  11. Jae, I am so sorry!! Do they know that from pathology or just an impression? Bin is right. Finding out is the first step to doing something about it. That's all you can do now-- take it a step at a time. I know there is so much worry in that, but I am so rooting for you and your son!!
  12. I go through periods of having a lot of existential angst. I have a good life, a good marriage, three kids that I love beyond, unfulfilled ambition that drives me...and yet....I go through periods of "this is it?" "Life or existence is so strange" "There is a lot of suffering in life and living isn't always better than dying" and "There is no point to this." I know how quickly it goes and that you can just drop dead tomorrow and never get to experience everything you wanted to experience or become what you wanted to become on an evolved human level. Or you leave your family behind, possibly in a shambles if your kids are young like mine are. Or you get to be the one who is left behind with a pain or yearning that can never go away and that is just it.. I am an atheist, and do not believe in an afterlife. I am actually comforted by that, as eternity is a very long time 😉 The being dead part doesn't scare me as much as having an illness and having to live everyday knowing that it will soon be over and, even worse, the disease is going to rob you of your remaining time. Those bucket list movies always make me roll my eyes because if you have three months to live, you are not likely to be strong enough to climb Mt. Everest or meet the love of your life. Part of my journey has been coming to terms with this. I don't know if I will be able to apply it, but all of this HA and the imagining these scenarios ad nauseum has taught me lessons to employ when the inevitable time comes (hopefully when I am old and my kids are grown). I have had many moments of having to fake it til I make it and claw my way back from the sense of pointlessness, and realizing that it's kind of dumb to suspend your future since you still have right now (I know that one is sooooo cheesy, but I think it's very true and the attitude you kind of need to adopt if you have a terminal illness). Right now, I am not going through an existential mood, exactly. But, my mom has an age-related health problem that was just diagnosed that is not the greatest, and I was beginning to think again about the inherent angst in life and death. Agree with Molly- these thoughts have preoccupied people for millenia, and are probably why religions ever developed in the first place (and I mean the earliest ones, like ancestor worship or sun worship; I think the monotheistic religions have their roots in different social dynamics but still borrowed the older answers to all the existential questions). It's weird NOT to think about it, I think 🙂
  13. Hope your pain is under control and so glad that surgery is behind you!
  14. I find that, if I am in a panic or spiral, I need to dwell on the worst. I find that, by dwelling and feeling all the terrible, I can desensitize too much. I think it's understandable to take an afternoon and google and/ or just imagine the worst. BUT-- and this is important- put a time limit on it. Don't do it day after day. Just do it the one time. That second bit is the hard part. But, you have no idea what those bumps are. So, do what you need to do to desensitize but move on and don't google continuously. That mires you in the fear, IME.
  15. If they have been there for years, you definitely need to get them checked. I have had basal cell carcinoma. They are easy to take care of with surgery, and there are new creams on the market that some people are using (but I would worry about missing cells, even though the creams also burrow down). Mine was on my shoulder, so less anxiety ridden than the face. That said, I had a bump on my face probably for a good 5 years or more. It was a tiny bump and, after the BCC, I started panicking about it. It turned out to be nothing! In hindsight, I have no idea why I lived with it there for so long. I guess my lack of vanity can be a problem, lol. Just get them checked and hopefully you won't get a call back for more treatment.