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RJ26 last won the day on April 20

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About RJ26

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  1. Thank you both for your replies. I try my hardest to not let anxiety get the best of me but more often than not it seems to win. I'm just so tired of constantly feeling like I'm trapped inside my own mind. Like I have no clear thoughts, like nothing in my life makes sense. When I think about my future I literally see Nothing. Not in the sense that I feel like a failure- like my life is going nowhere- but in a way that I honestly can't imagine my future. It scares me. Maybe this is where all of my anxiety actually comes from? Who knows. I'm going to take your advice though and try to let all anxious thoughts pass through and let them float by without paying much attention to them. Thank you again
  2. Hi all It's been a few months since I've posted on here. I feel like I'm doing a little better these days (or at least I thought I was). Ever since my huge scare about breast cancer (and every other cancer all at once) I feel like I have gotten a hold of this health anxiety thing. I still hurt a lot, I still panic and I still freak out thinking I'm going to die but somewhere...deep, deep down....I feel like I KNOW it's just anxiety. I feel like I can tell myself over and over that it's nothing major and to wait it out and usually I feel better after a while. I'm going through a pretty stressful time right now and I know for myself, stress coincides with my anxiety. Once my anxiety acts up (general anxiety, panic attacks, etc) then that's when I notice I start picking things out about myself and obsessing over them and thinking it's always something sinister. The problem I seem to be having lately is when I'm dealing with health anxiety and I talk myself down, it's like in my mind I know I'm fine, healthy and probably not dying. So I feel okay and I want to start doing things that make me feel better. Like exercising, eating better and just having a more positive outlook on things. But then my mind starts again and I start feeling like I CANT do those things. Because in my crazy head I start thinking that once I start trying to be healthier and happier I actually AM going to die. I know I sound crazy. I honestly feel like I'm going crazy. Kind of like I spend sooo much time worrying that I'm going to die- I don't truly get to live. And I'm scared that if I actually start trying to LIVE then I really am going to die. And I've just spent all this time, all of my younger years, worrying and not living. Like some kind of sick karma. It always comes down to me feeling like I'm going to die. I'm scared of not truly living my life but then I'm scared to actually start living my life.....am I making any sense? I don't know if I am.
  3. Middle Back Tingles

    It's comforting to know that other people feel the same thing! Interesting that you've both had shingles before and it happened. I've never had shingles though and I doubt you can have shingles and not know about it? lol I'm going to get fitted for a bra soon and see if that takes it away any. My appointment isn't for another week so I'll let you all know how it goes!
  4. I cant do this anymore!!

    I know how scared you must feel. I was always a mess about my bowels. Thinking I had cancer. All of your issues (besides the pelvic pain) I've gone through pretty much my entire life. Especially the constipation, diarrhea, bloating, tailbone pain (have that right now). The first time I had bright red blood when I used the bathroom was probably 6 years ago? I freaked out. Knew I was dying. Turned out to be a fissure which happens very commonly when you suffer with constipation. If I were you I would ask the doctor to take a look at your bum and check for a fissure. It's uncomfortable but you feel so much better knowing that's what causes the blood. I've continued to have bleeding off and on since then when I get too constipated but *knock on wood* it's been almost 10 months since it's happened and after changing my diet going to the bathroom has been a breeze. By the sounds of your symptoms have you considered you may have food sensitivities? I'm sensitive to dairy and gluten and have completely removed both from my diet and this is the best I've felt (with digestion anyway) in a long time! I was always bloated. Like every single day. It seriously looked like I was pregnant 24/7. Since changing my diet the bloating has gone down tremendously. The pelvic pain could very well be from the cyst. Even if it is small. A friend of mine always had pelvic pain and found out she had a cyst and had it removed. Of course, I'm not a doctor and it would be wise to have your symptoms checked out! But if everything comes back clear it might be as simple as changing your diet! Truly hope your feel better soon. Nothing is worse than thinking you're going to die and leave your children behind. That's my biggest fear and I think it's what keeps my HA going.
  5. Middle Back Tingles

    That's pretty much where mine is!! Right where my bra line sits. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with an ill fitting bra? Although I still feel it when I'm not wearing one but it could possibly be due to not having proper support (which would still happen without a bra) I've been meaning to actually go and get properly fitted since my boobs have drastically changed since giving birth and I know I'm probably not wearing the right size anymore. Does yours feel like it goes right across the back? I get scared that it's something serious to do with my spine or something.
  6. Middle Back Tingles

    hmm that is a coincidence! Although I haven't had shingles so I don't think it's that! Then again I've never had chicken pox either and had to get the vaccine in June just after having my daughter. I wonder if there's any connection?
  7. Middle Back Tingles

    Okay, I'm actually getting tired of posting on this forum about my newest "illnesses". (anybody else ever grow tired of feeling scared about everything?) Just wondering if anyone else out there has experienced what I'm going through now.. My middle back gets tingles. Sometimes it's very faint other times it resembles a pins and needles feeling. It started probably 6ish months ago? A few months after I gave birth. The tingles would come and go, not everyday and always in the same spot. On my right side just under the shoulder blade. I was totally fine with these tingles (it was only one spot, didn't happen very often and I figured it had something to do with pregnancy/the birth). Now for the past 2 weeks or so the tingles have moved across my back- directly across from the original spot- and I now feel it on both sides of my back. Some days it's okay. I barely notice it (like yesterday) but other days it seems like I get the tingles every few minutes (like today). It could be posture related but I feel like the tingles feel worse when I try to straighten up fully while sitting or standing. The tingles are a lot more noticeable while sitting down. It's not painful at all when the tingles come. Just irritating. I'm making an appointment now with my dr to check it out but I feel so embarrassed. This will be my third month in a row going to the dr and I don't want to become that girl who's anxiety "makes up illnesses". But I also don't want them to just pass this off as anxiety because something is causing the tingling. Has anyone ever experienced this?
  8. Medication Experiences

    Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your replies. I'm curious what the sexual side effect is that your talking about. Not trying to be nosey but genuinely curious. It's still something I'm trying to decide on. Bobnnat did you experience nerve-related pain? If so, did you ever feel like tingles/pins and needles kind of feeling in your back? I'm dealing with that now and it's driving me crazy!
  9. Constant need for deep breath

    I've had this since I was a kid lol My mom gets it and so does my brother. Try not to think about it too much and your breathing will go back to normal. I've been trying to get my "deep" breath in all evening lol Total anxiety. No worries
  10. Medication Experiences

    Oh trust me, I know it's not a cure. Which is why I've been avoiding it. I honestly just have no idea what to do now. I feel like I've tried everything- or just about! I talk it out with doctors, I talk it out with family members, I try exercising, I've cut dairy and gluten completely from my diet. The next step I'm taking is moving my family (my daughter and bf) into my mother's place for a few months to help out financially. Really hoping it'll help clear my head while we're there with the extra help.
  11. Medication Experiences

    Hi guys I was wondering if some of you might share your experiences with anxiety medication. I go back and forth constantly about being medicated. The two doctors I deal with both highly suggest I try medication but I'm terrified of it. I keep declining it because I always say no, I got this. I can do it without medication. But honestly, I really don't know if I can anymore. I'm only 26. I am sick and tired of feeling like I'm going to die every single day. Once I feel better about one thing I just start stupidly obsessing over something else. I don't know what else to do. So I would really appreciate it if you could share your thoughts on medication and what your experience was like while taking it. Thank you
  12. Anxiety and stool colour

    Thanks for the replies! I think it was definitely something I ate as I decided to ask my bf what his looked like recently (he's not a poop talker!) and he described the same thing haha so I think it was something we ate. Sorry for getting worked up! My mind goes to all sorts of dark places when things seem "unusual" to me!
  13. Sorry about this TMI post but I was just curious if anyone has experienced yellowish stool while dealing with their anxiety? I've read anxiety can definitely make your stool yellow but I think I would feel more at ease if I could hear directly from people who deal with anxiety and have experienced this! They're normal bowel movements-no diarrhoea or anything. Just yellowish in colour. It may have even been something I ate the other day- who knows! I've also just recently stopped taking my iron pills (4th day today) they were only needed for 6 months and as you can imagine my stools were always really dark while taking those. I wonder if not having so much iron is playing a roll in this colour change? I've also stopped eating dairy and gluten but I can't really see that turning stool yellow. Again, sorry for the TMI!
  14. Couple questions re:Caltrate about stool

    I'm pretty sure if you're having diarrhoea a few times a day it might be worth checking out but there are days when I have a bowel movement 2-3 times. I enjoy it though because I often have issues with constipation. I've actually read before that the most healthiest bodies will have a bowel movement after every single meal they consume. (mind you there are SO not many people in this world who have such incredible bodies!) So I wouldn't worry about having more than one bowel movement a day. Especially if they seem healthy otherwise -normal colour, normal texture. I don't think you have anything to worry about
  15. breast pain ruining my life..

    hmm..and you seem pretty immature for your 57 years of age.... I'm not sure who you think you're helping here but everyone, despite your rude comments, are being civil towards you. So please stop if you have nothing helpful to say.