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i87 last won the day on October 6 2018

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  1. This is one of those things that pops up for me every now and again, usually if I've been cleaning or exercising, and it basically always follows the same pattern: I'm doing something, twist somehow, feel a tweak in my side, stop immediately, and then fret for the next several hours that I've somehow given myself internal bleeding, or torn apart my organs, or something else. Tonight, the same thing happened again. I was exercising, twisted a bit, felt a tweak, and now I'm freaking out. There's no noticeable abdominal pain or bruising, I'm not lightheaded or feverish or vomiting or anything like that, but the muscle along my right side and just under my ribs does feel a little odd from time to time? It's a bit difficult to explain and very intermittent, but its a bit like a sort of fluttery spasm. Now, the tweak I had tonight wasn't anything more than what you might get from a particularly rambunctious game of Twister, or a round of yoga when you aren't quite used to yoga yet; I had the awareness of, "Oh, that felt odd," and then kept right on exercising for another 15 or 20 minutes before the thought of, "What if it's internal bleeding?" descended. I did a bit of Googling, but all I found was that internal bleeding is most often caused by blunt force trauma, deceleration, or fractures (and that the most common cause of all that is a car accident). I know there's always the possibility for some rare, undiagnosed blood disorder or connective tissue disorder, but my family has no history for stuff like that, so I'm trying not to dwell on the thought.
  2. Aha, trust me, I'm way too anxious myself to be a counselor, but I'm glad I could help you at all. ❤️ Just try to give yourself some time to rest and recover! I really hope you're able to start feeling at least a little better, and please don't push yourself too hard too fast.
  3. You still get anxious because you're still anxious. Anxiety, and the stress and adrenaline it creates, don't leave the body immediately. That's also why you're still feeling weak and wobbly, I promise. It may not seem like it, but if this has been bothering you for at least a couple of days, you've put your body through it. You've been tense and anxious for a prolonged period of time, and your body needs time to recover. I mentioned we're "constantly isometrically exercising ourselves", but I want to bring that point up again. Have you ever done a plank? A plank is a difficult isometric exercise. It's deceptively easy: hold yourself in a pushup position, and squeeze all the muscles in your abdomen. It seems so simple, yet most beginners struggle to hold that position for even 30 seconds. You've been tense for days, squeezing your muscles and wearing them out. This might sound really silly, but one thing I would recommend for you, if you can find the energy to do it, is a post-workout yoga routine. I recommend this one by Yoga With Adrienne! Your body needs to begin to relax and recover. You're still anxious, which is why your mind is leaping now to brain tumors and bone cancer. I do the same thing! I often only get over one scare because a different one has taken its place. The physical symptoms are still there, so I think, "Well even if it wasn't x, what if it was y?" Try to think of it this way: you feel weak and clumsy and kind of wobbly. Think of how you feel after watching a scary movie, or getting off a rollercoaster. Heck, have you ever been on an escalator that stopped? Even something as simple as that can cause a sudden surge of adrenaline, and the aftermath of adrenaline often leaves you feeling weak and clumsy and kind of wobbly. Anxiety is often a surge of adrenaline, but like I've mentioned, we keep ourselves in that anxious state for a prolonged period of time, further wearing ourselves out. Also, I want to edit and add, give the brace some time! It's helping your wrist to recover, but it'll take a couple of days. You only bought it today, right? Give it a chance to do the work.
  4. To start, numbness can very much be a symptom of carpal tunnel! And if you spend a lot of time on a keyboard, then you're a prime candidate for carpal tunnel. One thing I've learned when it comes to physical sensations and health anxiety, is that the more I focus on that sensation, the more it seems to "exist." It becomes sort of like an itchy tag on a shirt: you notice it, and then you can't stop noticing it, and something that was initially only mildly irritating suddenly becomes all-consuming. The anxiety is what's causing you to feel weak and wonky. Consider the following: have you been sleeping well? Or eating well? I know when I'm especially anxious, those are the first two things that go! And beyond even that, anxiety takes a physical toll. Folks on this forum will often mention "x can be caused by anxiety", and I think it's one of those things our brains struggle to accept, because anxiety is mental, and surely something physical must be causing these symptoms; but, anxiety and stress cause the muscles to tense, and I think health anxiety sufferers are experts at staying tense and alert all the time, so we're especially prone to muscle soreness and fatigue; we're basically constantly isometrically exercising ourselves. Which can cause weak feeling, and tingling, and all sorts of things! I'll admit, I'm on this forum right now because I've been nervous about ALS myself. When I was cleaning up soda cans, I noticed that when I crushed them with my left hand, it was more difficult, and my thumb felt a bit strained and weak. Occasionally, it twitches and spasms. It's something I've noticed in the past as well, and I'm trying to be logical and sensible about it: if my hand is on a flat surface, I can lift up my left thumb independently. If I press my thumbs together like I'm thumb wrestling myself, my left thumb doesn't "give." I can do buttons, and tie shoelaces. Somewhere else on this forum, in one of the other ALS topics, someone posted: ALS is not about feeling, it's about failing. Everyone occasionally fumbles papers and drops pens, and anxious individuals are going to be more prone to making those fumbles, because your muscles are already tight, and your brain is in overdrive. You're also hyperaware of those mistakes when they happen, because you're expecting them to happen, because you're expecting your hand to fail, because you expect that you have ALS. It's very likely there are a number of things you're doing just fine throughout the day (to use my own example, maybe doing buttons, or tying shoelaces), but because they're so second-nature, you're not as aware of them. Dropping papers or pens when you expect to do so is much more noticeable to an anxious brain than succeeding at something your brain expects to succeed at: or, again, you're so hyperaware of the things that are going wrong, you're not as aware of the things that are going right. I'm not sure how helpful any of this is, because I know when I'm especially worried about something, it's hard to find anything that helps. The best suggestion I can make is to find a distraction. Try to get your brain focused on something else. When I'm having an episode, lately I've been using quiz sites and trying to name states or European countries. I find they keep your brain focused in a way that books or movies just can't really do! I also often find that when I'm suitably distracted, the perceived weakness -- or whatever physical sensation is bothering me -- mysteriously vanishes, only to reappear when I'm no longer distracted, because my brain has the leeway to latch right back on to my latest hyperfixation. Keeping yourself occupied and busy genuinely does wonders for your mental state, even outside of using it as a distraction. Also, about the Cosmopolitan article. What you took from that is that the disease is more common than you first thought, but the very proof that it isn't is the fact that there's a Cosmopolitan article at all. Rare diseases are sensations. Cosmopolitan isn't going to run an article about a girl who had the flu or broke her arm, but they'll absolutely run an article about a super rare disease, because it's going to get clicks or buyers. ALS is also more in the public consciousness these days! The ice bucket challenge wasn't that long ago after all, so people are still aware of it, and that also contributes to Cosmopolitan choosing to run that story. The girl's age adds even more to the sensation, since an already-rare disease is even rarer at that age. I'm sorry; I know this is really long! I hope anything in here can be of some comfort to you, or help you in some way!
  5. So, I have a major fear of aneurysms, which is absolutely at play here, but: does anyone else's temple "pop" or spasm when they get very upset or anxious? And then continue to "pop" or spasm more intermittently for, say, an hour or two after? (We also have very high humidity here right now -- very high 90's -- which usually sets off my sinuses, which I'm sure is a contributing factor.) This has happened to me twice somewhat recently (I would say within a week or two of each other), and I'm trying hard not to get too worked up over it, but it's a big trigger for me.
  6. i87

    Rabies fear

    For the past week, I've been absolutely convinced that a rabid bat snuck into my room. Last Wednesday, I had my windows open for a little while in the afternoon. No more than a few hours -- say, five -- and I closed them well before the sun set. I also have screens on all of my windows, which I've been told by two separate experts, bats can't get through them unless there are holes or tears. We've also had a recent cold snap, and I think over the past couple weeks, it's been too cold for them at night, and they're likely starting to go into hibernation. Logically, I know all of this! Illogically, that Wednesday, I was cleaning at night, and there were two little brown specks in my tub. Immediately, I became convinced they were bat droppings, despite not seeing or hearing any bats. The next morning, I looked more closely, and they were chocolate (as a brief aside: my garbage can is in my bathroom, and I had dropped a chocolate croissant on the floor when I was throwing it away, so that's where the little chocolate pieces came from). I know that logically, that the pieces were chocolate, but my brain was still flipping out over, "How did they get into the bathtub?" and, "But you had your windows open!" and, "Oh my god, you touched them." I haven't been able to shut this spiral off at all. I'm usually alright in the morning when I wake up, but by the end of the day, my stomach will be tight and I'll just feel off, and nothing is helping. I've checked over my entire room for any sign of bats (there are none), and I never saw a bat myself, but I just cannot shake this one, and I'm absolutely terrified. As a note, I have been previously vaccinated (2013) and received a booster (2014); I also had my immunity levels checked in 2015, and they were good at the time.
  7. I'm really sorry to post about something so similar so soon, but after my last "exercise is probably going to kill me and I should just stop" HA scare, I have a new one! I have a deep fear of brain aneurysms (a deep fear of aneurysms in general, really); normally, I'm able to logic this one out (mostly using statistics and the like), or do a bit of self-testing (touching my chin to my chest; I know I shouldn't, but it helps), but tonight, after exercising, my right eye is noticeably bloodshot in both corners. The only Googling I did was specifically "dry eye after exercise" (which is common! nothing scary in the results) and within fitness boards (who all note that red eye is common when you strain yourself without breathing properly; again, nothing scary in the results!), but I'm still struggling a bit to allow my thoughts to accept that. Part of the problem is I have sinus pressure issues as well, which usually flare up in the fall and winter; same as aneurysms, normally I can logic this one out with, "Well, it's that time of year," or, "If I press on the bridge of my nose, the pressure is immediately relieved; therefore, sinuses." This morning, though, these two things are both playing off each other: my eye is red and dry which is visibly noticeable and worrying, despite having a logical probable explanation (not breathing properly while straining during bodyweight exercises), and there's pressure around my eye and into my forehead and temple (sinus issues that always flare up around this time, and weren't really noticeable anyway until I sat in front of my fan, which tends to exacerbate them). I guess I'm mostly just seeking a bit of reassurance, as well as wondering if anyone else has gotten red eye after exercising and had it stress them out?
  8. (Apologies for the very late replies!) Unfortunately, I've had a few years to work that one out, aha! I tend to be alright with older fears that I've already rationalized, simply because I can stop myself at the, "What if?"; it's the new ones, or the fears that I haven't dealt with in a very long time (in this case, aortic aneurysms) where I get stumped. At the very least, over the past year or so, I've gotten better at rationalizing things myself, rather than having to run to the ER. Occam's Razor is a really handy thing to remember, actually! Thank you very much for bringing it up! I tend to try and rationalize things myself that same way, with trying to think of what's the most likely explanation: is this muscle pain from something terrible, or from something logical that I've done recently? It actually very often helps me (if I get headaches and start to worry, for instance, I can usually rationalize out that I haven't slept much, or had too much caffeine, or what-have-you), and I'm really glad it's been helping you too! I'm really glad you haven't had any complications with yours yet, and I hope surgery goes well when you get it! But thank you very much for taking the time to reassure me as well. I've had a major fear of brain aneurysms for years now, and I tend to try and apply what I know from those onto aortic aneurysms (namely, that there usually aren't any symptoms, and you're just suddenly in pain, along with the rarity of them, and that plenty of people have aneurysms without them rupturing). And yet, what's got me really worked up right now is just... remembering symptoms I've read about or heard about. That said though, odds are honestly very helpful to know! I live in a town of around 20,000, so that really puts it in perspective for me. Thank you!
  9. Luckily I managed to quit the Googling habit, but unfortunately the knowledge from that habit doesn't go away so easily... ? I'm hoping I'll be less sore tomorrow, at least! Yep, it's very much a chain reaction for me. Often times it starts with a, "What if?" that makes me nervous, and then from there the anxiety just builds and builds. I'm really good at creating disastrous scenarios in my brain, and then becoming absolutely terrified of them, lol. One of my biggest issues is that weird body sensations are just... they're sort of like a tag on the back of your shirt that just itches? I can't stop focusing on them, and that focus leads to those inevitable, "What if?" moments, and then the fear.
  10. (Probably muscular pain.) Recently, I've been trying to get into better shape, which included working out for an hour or so Friday night (mostly bodyweight strength exercises and a bit of yoga); I didn't stretch especially well afterwards, so I'm more than a bit sore today, and I'm trying to be very logical about it, but I have one specific spot on my stomach that only seems to ache if I press it in the exact right way; I only noticed it by accident, and I'm too nervous to keep pressing to try and pinpoint it, but it seemed to be on the righthand-side near-ish my belly button. I'm trying to reason that it's almost certainly because of the exercise, but all my Googling a few years ago is coming back to haunt me, and now I'm terrified of an aortic aneurysm. To add: I'm 26, slightly overweight, and my anxiety has been pretty high lately since (a bit of TMI, but) my period just ended, and it always spikes around then. This is really frustrating, aha. It seems like every time I start trying to change my habits for the better, my health anxiety sneaks up on me: try to eat well, suddenly afraid of allergies; try to go for a walk, what if I have a heart attack?; do any kind of strength training, well I must have an aneurysm! It's so annoying. ?
  11. i87

    Rabies anxiety

    I had a similar thing! We had a bat in the house a while back (no actual exposure in my case, as it wasn't in my room, but definitely enough to set me off), and I used to have to check behind every piece of furniture I could before I felt alright to sleep. I'm trying hard to remember that I place a lot of unreasonable expectations on rabid bats (heck, I'm expecting them to pull off stunts I'm not even sure healthy bats could pull off), but my brain just won't accept it. Thank you, though! I know you're right, and that if I haven't seen a damn bat, there isn't a bat, and I just need to keep reminding myself of that. <3
  12. Summer is the worst. About two nights ago, I opened the door into our garage to ask my dad something, and he had the garage door open; this was around 10 or 11 at night, it was just barely starting to storm, and he didn't have much for lights on in the garage. I had the door open for maybe all of 45 seconds, but I was freaked out enough by the garage door being up that I wasn't paying super close attention; so, naturally, I've got myself all worried that I was either bitten by a bat in that moment, or that I let one into the house. I didn't see anything after I shut the door, I didn't hear anything in the garage (I know bats are generally pretty quiet fliers, but I know they can make some noise if they're indoors and don't want to be; I also assume a rabid bat would be flying noticeably strangely), and the only parts of me that were exposed were my hands and face, so pretty noticeable areas! I'm trying to be very logical about it, but I'm not having much luck, aha... edit: I just want to add to this with a bit more logic-ing that I'm trying to do: 1) there's no sign a bat's been in the house, or any sign of a bat in the garage; 2) the overhead lights weren't on in the garage, but the door light was, and that might be enough light to ward off a bat; 3) my dad had been in the garage and, as far as I know, didn't see anything; 4) he also came back inside within a minute or two of my closing the door, and so was in the vicinity of the door, and didn't see anything; 5) a rabid bat would've had a heck of a time getting to me, since I was mostly covered, didn't open the door that wide, and didn't actually step out of the house into the garage (and again, this is assuming I wouldn't have noticed a rabid bat flying up to me).
  13. Yeah! I did a bit of Googling around and apparently its a pretty common symptom of both switching to low-carb and protein powder? I joke a lot that my stomach doesn't know how to handle it when I eat a vegetable, but it's still awful annoying! Thank you though; it's nice to know I'm not the only one!
  14. So, this is probably a bit TMI. My stomach has been a bit gurgle-y the past two days, as I've been trying to switch to a low-carb diet. Today, after some eggs and a protein powder shake (some hours apart), I had a very upset stomach, three trips to the bathroom, and some diarrhea; no noticeable blood or anything! A bit ago, I went again (my stomach still gurgles a bit, but has been relatively settled for the night), and it was basically all mucus, but mucus that was kind of reddish-brown, and that has got me kind of wigged out. I don't very often have stomach issues like this, and I tend to joke about how I can eat anything without issues, so this is all sort of new to me and I really don't know what's common or typical? For what it's worth, I have had a few small sips of red Gatorade, which is the only thing that's been in my system since the diarrhea episode (plus water), and I assume it's very possible that could have made the mucus a lot more red. Has anyone had something like this happen before with a sudden bout of diarrhea? I know it's kind of gross and TMI, but any help would be super appreciated!