BeautifulDisaster

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About BeautifulDisaster

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  1. Tension headaches are super common for me. Tension headaches can totally make you feel tired - your muscles are tight, hence the headache! Your body becomes tired from all of it. The warmth in your skin is probably a by product of it. Using your muscles (even just tension) produces heat. But you don't have a fever, which is all that matters, and your dr didn't say anything about it. So yes yes yes. All of it is a byproduct of constant physical tension and stress, and speaking from my own experience, tension headaches can take days to fully resolve, especially when I try to treat them without advil. I hope by now you are feeling a bit better. (I saw your post, wanted to reply, but wasn't able to after the site had been down.) Hope this helps!
  2. @JungleJulia Yes! I have her book! I have read it a half dozen times! She started me on my holistic journey to healing my anxiety. I have not done her online program, but I would in a heart beat if I was on medication trying to come off (I don't take meds). I am also pretty self motivated, and I have incorporated many of her suggestions in to my life. I hear she has a new book coming out in the fall! How do you like it? Have you incorporated any of her ideas in your life? Have you found it useful? I love talking about her work!
  3. Yes and it can linger even if you feel like you aren't anxious anymore. You may feel like you aren't anxious, but it can be underlying in your body - subtle anxiety that you aren't fully aware of. Also it takes a while for the chemicals released during panic to completely dissipate. Give it some good time. And the more you monitor it, the more you will be sensitized to your symptoms. Hope this helps.
  4. Yes! Diet totally plays a role in all forms of anxiety. Any foods that increase inflammation in the body will increase feelings of anxiety and depression in the mind - they are interrelated. Taking care of your gut health will most definitely help your mental health. There is so much research out there on the connection between the two. Cutting out extra sugar and processed foods and increasing foods that come from animals and the earth is a great place to start. You don't have to do anything fancy - eggs in the morning and fruit are perfect. And make the food changes slowly. To go from drinking pop and eating candy regularly to stopping both completely and at the same time (not sure if this is what you did) is overwhelming and too much. One thing at a time, and one day at a time. And if you hate smoothies, then don't drink them! You don't have to. Try taking our 1 thing from your diet (say soda) and adding something healthy (like eggs for breakfast instead of a bagel) and over time, you can slowly change your diet in a way that will support your mental health. And in a way that feels good to you. And as you do this diet change, you will most likely find the stomach issues improving too as many of those issues are directly related to diet. But it will take time to heal it. I wish you the best of luck with this! It will help in so many ways!
  5. Yes. HA is a form of OCD - the obsessions with the health related fears and doubts, the intrusive "am I ok or not?" thoughts, the compulsive checking. The root of HA is OCD, and from reading your post, it sounds like you have both the obsessions (in your constant thoughts of ALS) and the compulsions (in terms of your self checking ). And I understand - with my anxiety, I deal with this too (just not ALS). I wouldn't say that HA leads to OCD. I would say that you have OCD and it is manifesting itself as HA, instead of, say, checking the stove 100x a day or washing your hands constantly, which is what is commonly thought of with OCD. You say that you no longer recognize yourself. Have you considered therapy? After 30 some years of dealing with this, I have finally found a therapist that I mesh with and am hoping for the best. At the very minimum, a therapist would help you see through the obsessions and shed some light and support for handling the compulsions. I am personally glad I have found that support for myseld. I am sorry you are going through this - hope this helped.
  6. I am sorry you are feeling this way. I am very prone to breast anxiety myself. You mentioned above that you aren't mentally in a good place right now. You just went through midterms and moved away from home. All of that is incredibly stressful! It also sounds like you are away from your support system -your family, friends, even your dr. So now your mind has latched on to a lump that you have had for what sounds like quite a while. And being a few days out from your period, you know the hormonal changes are going on and things are swelling and so is your lump. And from all I have read and been told by my drs, cancerous lumps stand out clearly and are unquestionable, which does not sound like your lump at all. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and feeling a lack of control which is driving you to doubt what you are feeling. Plus, I have also heard how overly checking alone can cause the breast tissue to swell. Considering that you have had this lump for a while, are there things you can do to distract yourself and calm your nervous system down until after your cycle? To which then you can recheck, and only then? To at least give yourself some time to heal from the checking and maybe some compassion toward yourself for all that you are going through emotionally right now? Hope this helps.
  7. I am sorry you are feeling this way. Yes, I have definitely experienced that before. I will usually reach for a cup of decaf green tea and breathe. Deep breathing will turn off your fight or flight response and turn on your parasympathetic nervous system. You can simply breathe in for a count of 3, hold your breath for a count of 4, and exhale for a count of 5. Keep going until you feel the rush go away. It may take a lot of that in the beginning to teach your nervous system to be calm. Hope this helps. And I hope you feel better soon.
  8. Dr Ira Rashbaum? He wrote a piece in The Divided Mind - wrote about his experience treating patients with TMS!
  9. YES! I just found him! I just finished reading The Divided Mind and have been following his treatment for about 25 days now! I am certain that my OCD is TMS. Since I have been journaling, I have found that if I feel out of control, my OCD kicks in badly. I am trying to see it as another manifestation of pain. And that's new to me. I have no doubts (from many other books I have read) of the mind body connection and that this is very very plausible. Right - it won't go away in 24 hrs. Do you have one of Sarno's books? If not, get one ASAP and read it. In order for it to work, you have to be all in on the diagnosis - what have you got to lose? In his books, he wants you to read his treatment protocol everyday while journaling each day on your emotions -especially those that may be repressed - actually, I see you listed quite a bit of crappiness that happened to you this summer. That's a good place to start. And anything that leads your to perfectionism or goodism especially. Anyway - as I said, I am giving this an all in, go! If you want to talk more, please message me! Hope this helps!
  10. I bet that's what it's from! Especially since they have been sore! May take a few months to adjust!
  11. I am sorry that you are feeling this way. You described things as feeling "harder" and then a "pea sized lump" and also that you are 2 weeks out from your cycle. I am betting it's all hormonal. Both the hard feeling and the pea sized lump (which sounds like a cyst ). I bet if you wait till after your cycle, you will find it all goes away. I know, easier said than done. Hope this helps!
  12. I still have the background anxiety too right now. Good news for me is I didn't go feeling around yesterday. I worked on calming myself down, and I would reread the advice I on here that I give. I know my advice is sound, it's just hard to stop thoughts about yourself. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not a breast issues I have, it's a thinking issue and I try to go from there. Are you choosing to have a sonogram done next month or did a dr prescribe or suggest it?
  13. Thanks. Unfortunately I find it so much easier to give logical advice than to take it. I surprise my husband all of the time. He's amazed at the kind of logical advice I can give to someone while it seems like I have none for me - I can give logical breast advice like above, but I am still struggling with self checking. It's so terrible how that works!
  14. Oh man. I am right there with you. I am on the smaller side and can feel everything too. I always doubt what I feel. I recently posted about this topic, so I will give you the advice I know, but I know it's so hard to hear it and believe it. What I am learning from my own breast fears is that it comes down to trust. Self trust that you would KNOW something is wrong, self trust in knowing that you will take care of yourself, and trust in what the drs say (many struggle to believe what their drs say on this). From all I have learned and been told by drs about breast issues and from people who I know had BC .... 1. Breasts are normally lumpy and that's fine. 2. Anything bad is clearly, noticeably wrong and you would know it. If you are wondering about it or are unsure, then it is most likely normal. 3. Check them only 1x a month. And remember, drs spend like 1 min each side checking. There is no digging and either it feels right o wrong. 4. Breasts are not symmetrical (that's what I am dealing with) in terms of size, breast tissue, and firmness. What you are feeling probably is a fibroadenoma or a cyst, and both are benign. Especially if you have had it for a while and it's been the same. But it would be good to get it checked out and then you will know. And at 28, it may be good to get yearly ob checks where all they do is a yearly breast check. Breathe easy - it's not "too late" for you because it's not what you think it is. Otherwise you wouldn't be questioning it. You would be like "this clearly should not be here". Hope this helps.
  15. Thank you. Yes, everyone has "their thing". I know my husband would tell me in a heartbeat if he was concerned. And I am thankful for that. I guess that goes back to trust issues, I suppose, otherwise I could let it go, right? Breaking the self checking habit is so hard. My husband often says, kindly, that if it wasn't this, it would be something else. I suppose there is some truth to that. It used to be lymph nodes for me and now I am 100% beyond that, honestly. But just stuck here. I know I have to trust what my husband is saying - and that I have distorted thinking right now. It does amaze me how you can check without anxiety! Good for you that you can do that! Thank you for your post. Yes mine are fibrocystic too. And everything can be felt. My Dr's have told me how lumps and bumps are normal. I just start doubting and second guessing myself (creating the panic) right after I check them even though they were just checked 2 months ago. I get worried that they may have changed or the lumps feel firmer. Again, they could just be normal and my perception. I often do think I just need to get super familiar with them but I know the anxiety will be horrible and, I will admit, that scares me. I would be worried that I would "forget" the way they felt the month before. However, it's nice to see another person able to move beyond this. That makes me hopeful!