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Everything posted by MsLLL

  1. MsLLL

    Ongoing Lightheaded Feeling - New Diet?

    I have found that I don't get away with certain things anymore as I used to. I used to be able not to eat for long stretches of time (when I wasn't hungry). I can't do this anymore. I do feel a certain discomfort when I go for long stretches without food. I'm not worried about any diseases though, I have just accepted I need to be more regular with eating times. People can go for long times without eating ( i.e. fasting) without collapsing etc. In your case it might be a combination, to me it sounds like anxiety and the implementation of a new routine. You could pre-cook certain meals, for example low carb egg muffins or soaked oats etc. so when you feel bad you can snack on those instead of sugar and carbs. Hope this helps, don't google. You are fine. It's just amped up anxiety because you are trying something new and the master in disguise is testing you! It will pass if you let it.
  2. MsLLL

    Feeling alone

    Hi Jae, you are not alone but yes it feels very alone! In anxiety we feel isolated and alone and certainly afraid. It's a condition that can be a very isolating experience because we go completely introspect. When I was in the middle of it I just couldn't connect to others and vice versa, I was too busy with scanning physical symptoms and thinking I was going crazy. Now the dust has settled and what has really helped me is to talk about my experience, now that's hard when in the middle of it. But maybe you can take small steps. Same goes for depression, I like the sentence from depression to expression. It's good to express ourselves, in talks, journals, art whatever you feel is right. One word of warning, we do have somewhat unrealistic expectations when in the middle of it, we try to find complete understanding. No one else can understand who hasn't been through it. Just express what you are going through, share the burden but try not to hope someone else can ' cure you"(I was always looking for someone else to bring me the magic stick ) or completely get you. And that's ok. We are here for you as well. Best wishes for your son's surgery!
  3. Hello, your life has not been wasted although you might feel this way. You have been riddled by a terrible disease and I admire how you have handled it all these years! It's great you saw a Psychiatrist and take meds if he prescribes them. But what helps a lot of people with anxiety is counseling. Another thing, but a personal choice is to tell people about what you are going through. Open up and you will feel some relief. Relatives and family can't help us but it's good to share the burden. It's very common in anxiety to have a shot memory, as in reading and not being able to focus. The mind is too occupied with the crazy storm so to speak. We all have similar experiences, you are not alone. Come here often but please consider counseling. Your personality is not lost, it just seems that way because it's buried under all the anxiety and worry thoughts.
  4. MsLLL

    I am really worried.

    Not everything comes from anxiety but we if we have been cleared by our GP's and they suggest it's classic anxiety, then yes we need to try to accept it and find a good counselor like we would find a doctor when we have a physical ailment.
  5. MsLLL

    TMI, But I Am Freaking Out!

    That's wonderful, I'm happy you are proactive about getting better. I think I was wrong in my assessment because I thought you were obsessively scanning.
  6. MsLLL

    TMI, But I Am Freaking Out!

    Please stop looking at your bowl movements. That would be my first advice. Have you had counseling for anxiety? To learn what it all can do and how to cope? My best Wishes and be assured, anxiety doesn't last forever. What you are going through right now is temporary.
  7. MsLLL

    I am really worried.

    It comes from anxiety cubanborn.
  8. You didn't offend, it's totally fine. I think Bipolar and anxiety are two very different mental illnesses. For Bipolar one has to use tougher guns so to speak, but for anxiety there is a lot of good options out there. A friend of mine who is a Psychiatrist said once: If people with depression or anxiety would understand it's not changing their personalities but bringing out the better, more healthy parts again, a lot would be gained. I think a lot of people suffer and don't need to but on the other hand medication is not a fix -all and there is a lot of other things one needs to do. In my case I was put on a classic anxiety medication when it first started and it didn't help. Please don't think this will be you. That's why Im hesitant posting about it because what works for one might not for some else. But I do think this is rare. I have two friends who have been on medication for years with great success.
  9. MsLLL

    Waking up to intrusive thoughts

    I don't mind sharing Bin. The doctor didn't know me and he had very old equipment. That didn't set well with me and my rational mind told me to trust my regular doctor with the best equipment a hospital can have. Long story short, my doctor was right all along and although my rational mind knew it at the time it triggered this heck of an anxiety ride sprinkled with some wonderful panic attacks. But we are here to face it and overcome. And we have:-)
  10. MsLLL

    Appointment Summary

    Well, I was in that same position a while ago. Nothing a doctor, a friend or people on this forum said made sense because I was in the grips of anxiety and the physical symptoms were so strong. Be assured Cubanborn it takes time. You can't force yourself to get better but we also don't want to see you going down further (like I did when my anxiety was not treated). You have to decide when the time is right and reach out for help and slowly show anxiety you are in control of your destiny. I strongly believe you can do this when ready and paired up with the right professional. My best Wishes.
  11. Yeah, our Jonathan knows all the tricks anxiety plays on us. Sometimes we can be content but we have experienced something in the past that lingers around and puts obstacles in our way. It's best to tackle (accept) anxiety cause it can completely take over ones life. If you take medication or not is really a very personal decision, the people I know on here are split in their opinion, some believe not to take them, and others say it's ok short- term. But the reality ( at least to me is) it's much harder to do it without or to find one that works for you. Then there is some who stay on them for a life-time. You just got to find out what's working for you. Best Wishes.
  12. MsLLL

    Waking up to intrusive thoughts

    Well, bin, thanks for sharing! And yes, there is always a root. My anxiety started exactly with that, a deep fear of dying prematurely! I was misdiagnosed when it all started and told with that particular diagnosis there is three months left and no treatment. That brought up some deep seated fears to the surface I wasn't even aware of. I always thought I was not afraid to die, well, I was wrong. I used to volunteer with people who were passing on and read a lot of books about dying. Did any of that help me when I thought it was my turn? Nope. I still don't want to die prematurely but it gives me comfort that none of us knows when it's our time. And in the meantime we have to live and not curl up in a ball of fear in some corner. Life is about living and facing our fears and even conquer them. Make peace with your fears. Also, I don't believe all my thoughts anymore. Thoughts are just that, thoughts and they can be triggered by a multitude of things, in our case a lot of them are triggered by a primitive part of the brain (fear). If we believe all our thoughts, I would be a rockstar with millions of dollars in my account and I would have died a thousand death with the anxiety thoughts. I have learned not to take everything so seriously and not let my mind run with imaginary thinking whether it's the rockstar or the death scenario.
  13. I used to drench my night shirt and bed sheets..... It was bad. Sometimes I had to get up in the middle of the night to shower and change clothes. Now that I have recuperated and fully accepted it was anxiety and panic attacks....guess what?! No more night sweats! I promise you! My mind and sensory system were so out of whack it produced those sensations and physical symptoms. I sometimes had it during the day also, but not as severe. Best Wishes and here is to sweat free nights and days! You will get there, it really just takes time, acceptance and some changes. 😀
  14. MsLLL

    Struggling with my daughter

    In my experience this is not accurate. I had patients who suffered from this. They have suffered such horrendous trauma we can't even imagine. Sometimes those patients are aware of what's going on and sometimes they are not. Please let's not be biased against people who have a serious medical condition.
  15. MsLLL

    Struggling with my daughter

    Hi Tinn, I'm sorry you are going through the motions currently but it just confirms what a good Dad you are, you have her best interest at heart for sure. In my career I have worked with chronic mental ill patients and also with youth who were neglected or abused. I can tell you a lot of kids pick up dx's in hospital settings and really do believe they suffer from the things she mentioned. You can't force her to change her way of thinking currently. Just think about what anxiety does to us, we are so convinced we have a physical disease or that we are going crazy. I think the same thing is going on here, I have seen it many times especially with girls around that age. I used to work in a group setting with girls from the age of 12-18 and the symptoms and conditions 'jumped around' the entire group, so to speak. And puberty and hormones sure can add to the stress she is experiencing. What I have encountered, "all my kids" from work fabricated stories to get attention, I have heard some wild stuff. They do it, in short because their emotional and physical needs were not met when they were small. They test if they can really, truly trust the adults around them. It's a long process but I think you have gotten full custody when she was still young enough and you working with all the professionals gives her a great chance. What can you do? You can reassure her of your love and the same for the rest of the family. When she tests you by acting out with telling you she suffers from such and such, just think that right now you can't convince her. Just like you couldn't convince yourself when in the middle of anxiety. Reassure her she is safe with you, she can trust you and openly talk to you without getting punished for it. At the same time it's important to say: " I hear you about you thinking you suffer from such and such, no matter what you suffer from we are here for you and will be. I don't see any evidence of this going on but we are here for you. What is really important also is a routine, hold her accountable for certain things without undermining what she feels and thinks. Socializing with friends is also crucial. I personally would monitor her online activity so she doesn't get a chance to dig deeper into the dx she thinks she suffers from. I think you are well on your way to having this. It's my understanding she was recently diagnosed so it's to be expected that it will be bumpy for a while. One more thing comes to mind. It's not so good in my experience to use a lot of labels (and those are sometimes misused by teens!) , yes she suffers from certain things but there is more to her than her past or the way she was socialized or the mental challenges she is facing. But of course I understand your focus currently and you have my empathy. I was just speaking about the long term prognosis I have encountered professionally and it wasn't half bad. My best Wishes.
  16. MsLLL

    Palpitations and hearburn

    I have them since my anxiety journey started a few years ago. It used to send me into a panic. Not anymore. It really is just a by-product of irritated nerves and electrical impulses. They don't bother me anymore. You will be fine.
  17. MsLLL

    Welp. Coats disease?

    So very true.
  18. Yes, anxiety can do all this! And more. You can trust us or read what some of us have been through. You can't control anxiety. The more you fight it the stronger it comes. You need to go to your doctor and discuss in detail all your anxious symptoms and tell him/her about all the ER/ ER parking lot visits. Just be really honest, then find a good counselor and get help. You will get there and accept you have anxiety and you will learn how to live a normal life. Deep inside you know it's anxiety. You have been cleared by medical professionals and you are on this site. Don't fight it or let your mind tell you it's your heart, it's not. It's in our minds. And it's perfectly fine to live a good life suffering from it. You can do it!
  19. Hi Bradley, no, I don't. But I didn't want to ignore your message. Welcome to AC. I'm sure other's will reply soon, also you can search under medication. Greetings.
  20. MsLLL

    Struggling again with the muscle twitching

    Yes, me too! I can completely relate. I didn't think it was from twitching but all things combined. It was such a relief to find out I was not dying ( well one day;-) but it was "just" from anxiety.
  21. MsLLL

    Struggling again with the muscle twitching

    Hello Dominick, we never get sick of hearing how things are. We are here for the good times and the not so good ones. We have all been there or are still there, so we completely get this. I will tell you something soooooo crazy, ok? Your arms are not getting more weak in reality.....Your mind is making you believe they are by over focusing on them. That in turn produces a load of stress hormones in you and you feel that in various parts of your body. One of the symptoms you feel as a result is weakness in your arms. The feeling of fear and being overwhelmed by the fear does this to us. Now when one of us approaches you with rational advice, for example exercising; your rational mind responds and you feel temporary relief. (But it doesn't last because it was a rational explanation. You should consider exploring your feelings when you get the counseling appointment.) And then we are in the cycle. We feel fear, then our rational thinking puts an explanation on the forefront and we feel relief. Then fear again and again. Sometimes even stronger than before. Anxiety has made feel so weak in the past I felt like Sponge Bob.
  22. Yesterday my GP has requested to see me to measure my anxiety levels. It was an interesting conversation. He told me therapy only works for a friction of the people and medication suppresses the symptoms, the day you stop the symptoms come back. So the only thing left is acceptance of the condition and the symptoms? .... He also said anxiety patients should do whatever they feel helps them. Maybe a combination of all three things or is that a contradiction to true acceptance? Your thoughts? I'm realizing a lot of people are misunderstanding this because I didn't express this right. He said if people just do counseling without medication it does work for some but not as many if they do both. Sorry!
  23. It's the anxiety trying to keep you in the "game". Meditation has helped me a great deal. Journaling as well. I think whatever suits you and helps you is fine. Meditation only has to happen for a very brief time to give you peace and comfort. Maybe you can set your clock for 5 min to do so until it becomes something you absolutely want to do.
  24. MsLLL

    Shortness breath

    Hello Maria, I'm sorry you are going through this. Since you have been cleared by doctor's I would say it's anxiety. I have had this before. You are anxious to start with and by adding more fear it makes us hyperventilate. I have learned in counseling techniques to conquer my shallow breathing in those situations. Best Wishes.
  25. My counselor also had told me medication and counseling are best. And yes, I can work harder on mindfulness and CBT because when I do I feel better.