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Everything posted by MsLLL

  1. Well, it has to be treated just like if we had MS or something else. If we would take it as serious as a physical disease and there wasn't so much stigma, shame and nervousness around having a mental condition we would be in much better shape. Just my two cents. Anxiety and HA does not go away on it's on. It's possible to suppress it ( I would NOT recommend that), or not have a flare up for a while but if left untreated it's like any disease in my humble opinion. Plz don't jump to the next thing, urine, kidneys, etc. You are being tricked cause your anxiety is not being treated properly. I wish you the best and I know if you put the effort in, in treating your disorder instead of using that precious energy to feed into anxiety, it would so great for you 😄
  2. It's ok to still be worried. How wouldn't you be? In anxiety it takes a long time to condition ourselves to the point of constant worry and stress, so therefore it takes a while to get back to regular emotions also. You can do it.
  3. Yeah, it's classic anxiety thinking. We have all been there concerned pa!
  4. People with anxiety are easy to influence. We have a vivid imagination, unfortunately for us that imagination tends to be on the negative side of things. It's our responsibility to not fall prey to google or the media when in the middle of it. Think of it like an addiction, your exacerbated anxiety wants it's fuel, fooling you into thinking once you know you will have relief. But it's the opposite. Take the fuel away from your anxiety!
  5. Hi Bobby, I don't have experience with said medications. When I was at the height of anxiety and panic I did try a benzo once or twice but it had an opposing effect on me. A lot of people on here say, that after stoping a medication and taking it again, it doesn't work anymore. Then we have people on here who take Klonopin for 20 plus years three times a day and they say it's a life-saver. I wish I could help you somehow, what does your doctor suggest to do?
  6. What a beautiful and profound post, Jon. You are much appreciated.
  7. of course, we all went through the same thing! Blessings. PS: It takes time to accept.
  8. Yes, I do. With all due respect I won't share this here because I wholeheartedly believe it doesn't do us any good to compare notes in regard to that, it's counterproductive. An anxious mind will only experience temporary relief when symptoms don't match; to jump on to the next thing. I believe we have to tackle the root of it, that's anxiety and fear. I'm always here to help with that. Blessings.
  9. My Uncle had MS for many, many years. He got the first symptoms in his 20's which is early. But although his life had challenges and he missed out on certain things, he accepted what he had and still lived a life surrounded with the love and joy of family and friends. Of course no one would chose a chronic disease like this or any other....but wait! We do have one already 😉
  10. I don't know if this is your situation but when I was at the height of my anxiety journey, I would google day and night because I was so sure the doctor's overlooked something. Surely, they had to be a medical (physical) reason why I felt so bad! Well, no one overlooked anything, I just had to come to terms with it, that yes, anxiety can do all this to us. People told me to stay away from google but I just couldn't at the time. Now I can google any disease without correlating it to me. You will get there, I know you can!
  11. Don't be sorry, we are here for you:-) I don't know your back story but to me it sounds like you are having chronic anxiety which circles in your mind and body so to speak. My uncle had MS and I don't remember that he had any of those symptoms you are describing. Anxiety makes our vision blurry sometimes, we get burning sensations in our bodies and we feel tightness. Can you tell me why are you so worried about getting this particular disease? Do you know anyone who has it or have you been influenced by the media? It's ok to be scared, we all are when we face this but I have learned for myself I don't have to fear anxiety, there is no reason. Now it's sometimes hard to believe how it influenced me into believing I was dying young, checking symptoms trying to connect them to diseases and all. I know all too well how bad it can be. Hugs.
  12. This is the truth, and it's the only way to regulate our exaggerated anxiety back into healthy levels. Once you have practiced this a lot you will get the chance to work on the root of your fear and why you were put through these challenges in the first place. You can do it! We believe in you
  13. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just saw your post for the first time. I'm also sorry you haven't found the right medication that works for you. All medication has side effects, no matter what we take, even if we just take an aspirin. But when we suffer from Bipolar, PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder it's very beneficial to get the relief necessary. In those cases it's important for your well-being to take medication on a regular basis. People with your dx have said it's the only way to manage those conditions. Please don't give up on yourself and find something that works for you, Kassy. Come here lot's and talk about everything you want to talk about. Best Wishes.
  14. Wonderful you feel you are on a good path. Don't stress it and don't force it, would be my advice. I know, easier said than done when in the middle and all we want is escape it. There is no escape. I really believe personally it's about completely accepting what we have, with the stigma and all the terrible symptoms and all that jazz. I have developed anxiety and PA's about 3,5 years ago and I got better through counseling and short term medication. But the real breakthrough came when I fully accepted what I have and allowed for it, so to speak, I used to spent all my energy fighting it or denying it or looking for another explanation, as in a different disease. It made a huge difference after acceptance. I also had to "re-invent" myself, feel my emotions, learn when something is too much etc. There is no time-line, it's life and life is full of mystery and challenges. I didn't have anymore anxiety or panic attacks ( if that's what you mean by setbacks), when I stopped worrying about having those. It's a very individual condition and a very individual road to integration ( I don't like the word recovery because that's a myth). I personally call it integration. Best Wishes.
  15. When I showed up for my first counseling appointment, a bundle of nerves, not recognizing myself anymore.....the counselor said at the end: Do you have any questions? And I said: Yes, when will I be cured?????!!!!! And she said: " The day you don't worry about being cured anymore! And the day you don't think about anxiety anymore"! Bammmmm!
  16. 100 % !!! Once we learn to let thoughts pass us by and not to be in reactive mode all the time, it's like a new existence. Thoughts don't make you----you. I like Mark's practical advice of engaging with the outside world. In my former anxious state I was just in my head 24/7 and didn't fully comprehend what was meant by engaging and even reaching out to the outer world. I thought it was impossible because anxiety was trying to trick me to find the answer in my mind. It's not there. Best Wishes.
  17. You will make it back out. I assure you this. It's a phase you are in. you are in the grips of health anxiety. When I was in the middle of it I thought, whoa, what if my life will always be like this? It's not a nice way to live, I know. But there is many of us who live completely normal life's again, without exaggerated anxiety, fear and panic attacks. You will get there! I'm here to give you hope😀
  18. Hi Sum, sorry to hear you guys are both going through a tough time. Here is to hoping you will both find jobs real soon. Glad your doctor's are working with you! Now to the anxiety. You are not looking for a medical explanation for the mouth ulcer..... You know it's nothing sinister. Several Doctor's have told you, and all the statistics and explanations of what it could be, don't matter much. Why not think of the sore as your anxiety sticking it's tongue out saying: I'm still here! Because that's what happens with us when we suffer from HA. We have a root why we suffer anxiety and the mind cannot be rationally satisfied. It's an illusion to get satisfaction. Once we think we have it, we might feel brief elevation. Then we jump on to the next thing. And so on and so on. Once the panic sets in on top of the anxiety it's a pretty miserable situation. I have been there. It was miserable. But there comes the day we have to decide if we go the route of brief elevation/ temporary relief or if we want to live without exaggerated anxiety and fear. It's entirely possible. Now many people say, yes, I want that, how do I do that exactly, please? Give me directions. Now, that's the problem with anxiety. It's an individual experience although we have common symptoms. But we all experience it on our own. The way to leave anxiety behind is to fully embrace it and that's scary. All the rituals I used to do, all the thoughts I used to have----to keep me safe. Finally realizing it's a fake safety and never lasts. What I have noticed in anxiety I couldn't always connect the dots, although I thought I was thinking rationally, in hindsight I was not. In counseling we can learn the root of our individual anxiety, and how to get on the road to recovery, which is very individual too. There is no one size fits all. So, as a suggestion for you to ponder, I invite you to come here and talk about everything you need to talk about. But at the same time maybe accept the sore as a by-product of anxiety, not the main problem. Once the root of anxiety is found, you can work on your journey and one day a canker- sore will just be that. I know you can do it when you are ready.
  19. I have found that I don't get away with certain things anymore as I used to. I used to be able not to eat for long stretches of time (when I wasn't hungry). I can't do this anymore. I do feel a certain discomfort when I go for long stretches without food. I'm not worried about any diseases though, I have just accepted I need to be more regular with eating times. People can go for long times without eating ( i.e. fasting) without collapsing etc. In your case it might be a combination, to me it sounds like anxiety and the implementation of a new routine. You could pre-cook certain meals, for example low carb egg muffins or soaked oats etc. so when you feel bad you can snack on those instead of sugar and carbs. Hope this helps, don't google. You are fine. It's just amped up anxiety because you are trying something new and the master in disguise is testing you! It will pass if you let it.
  20. MsLLL

    Feeling alone

    Hi Jae, you are not alone but yes it feels very alone! In anxiety we feel isolated and alone and certainly afraid. It's a condition that can be a very isolating experience because we go completely introspect. When I was in the middle of it I just couldn't connect to others and vice versa, I was too busy with scanning physical symptoms and thinking I was going crazy. Now the dust has settled and what has really helped me is to talk about my experience, now that's hard when in the middle of it. But maybe you can take small steps. Same goes for depression, I like the sentence from depression to expression. It's good to express ourselves, in talks, journals, art whatever you feel is right. One word of warning, we do have somewhat unrealistic expectations when in the middle of it, we try to find complete understanding. No one else can understand who hasn't been through it. Just express what you are going through, share the burden but try not to hope someone else can ' cure you"(I was always looking for someone else to bring me the magic stick ) or completely get you. And that's ok. We are here for you as well. Best wishes for your son's surgery!
  21. Hello, your life has not been wasted although you might feel this way. You have been riddled by a terrible disease and I admire how you have handled it all these years! It's great you saw a Psychiatrist and take meds if he prescribes them. But what helps a lot of people with anxiety is counseling. Another thing, but a personal choice is to tell people about what you are going through. Open up and you will feel some relief. Relatives and family can't help us but it's good to share the burden. It's very common in anxiety to have a shot memory, as in reading and not being able to focus. The mind is too occupied with the crazy storm so to speak. We all have similar experiences, you are not alone. Come here often but please consider counseling. Your personality is not lost, it just seems that way because it's buried under all the anxiety and worry thoughts.
  22. Not everything comes from anxiety but we if we have been cleared by our GP's and they suggest it's classic anxiety, then yes we need to try to accept it and find a good counselor like we would find a doctor when we have a physical ailment.
  23. That's wonderful, I'm happy you are proactive about getting better. I think I was wrong in my assessment because I thought you were obsessively scanning.