BejeweledMexican

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Everything posted by BejeweledMexican

  1. BejeweledMexican

    How Do We Help Them Understand?

    I feel so lonely in this anxious period of my life, and nobody understands what I'm going through. I had a loooooong talk with my boyfriend about it last night, it was kind of disheartening. I know he loves me and he wants to take the anxiety away but he doesn't understand the extent of it or the fact that these physical symptoms are very much REAL! My parents have never understood and keep saying the classic phrase, 'Well I guess go to a doctor'. My boyfriend was trying to convince me last night that he used to be a hypochondriac because he was in a car crash about 10 years ago and got whip lash and was terrified that if he turned his head a certain way that it would snap and kill him. I understood where he was coming from but it's nothing like the extent of our anxiety. I try and help him understand that the anxiety comes as a result of my pain, or at least that's what I assume, but he doesn't get it. He especially doesn't understand how my anxiety can also cause pain, he just thinks the pain isn't there at all. Has anyone had any experience helping people understand their anxiety? I have very patient and caring people in my life but due to their lack of understanding I feel alone. This morning I'm on day 4 of horrible back pain along with pain that wraps around both sides of my body towards my stomach and gallbladder. I've literally had people in my life tell me that I'm only doing this for attention, so I stopped telling people, I just come here now and vent it out or get advice. It's a very lonely world out there for a hypochondriac. I NEVER go to the doctor, they terrify me because in my mind all they have is a terminal diagnosis waiting for me, and maybe that's a reason people think this is all just made up? Today I think I'll force myself to go to the doctor, I can't handle the pain on my own anymore. I'm terrified, but maybe it will help show people that this isn't all fake? This pain is real? I don't know guys, I just feel so alone. Alone, in pain, misunderstood, dying.
  2. BejeweledMexican

    At the doctor’s now

    I have been having really bad painful, stabbing, and burning feelings on my right side in my upper stomach. I NEVER go to the doctor but I couldn’t concentrate at work and so I made myself go since it was only a 2 minute drive. I’m just at the urgent care because I don’t have my own doctor. The nurse said my oxygen is at 100%, whatever that is. Currently in the room waiting for the doctor....tempted to run out so I don’t have to hear a cancer diagnosis or something that’s going to chew away at my mind. I’m terrified right now.
  3. BejeweledMexican

    Intense Pain Near Gallbladder/Liver

    So last night was pretty normal until around 8pm I started experiencing this intense pain, kind of stabbing and pinching, on the right side of my body in the front. At first I thought it was gas but then it would go away for a couple of minutes and then come back for like 30 seconds and then it would just continue that pattern for 3 HOURS! I was terrified I almost went to the ER. I woke up this morning and didn’t have the pain but now I’m starting to feel it very very slightly. I’m terrified to eat because what if it’s due to that? My thought? Pancreatic cancer that spread. Or any cancer that spread. I’m terrified. What do I do?!?
  4. BejeweledMexican

    Intense Pain Near Gallbladder/Liver

    That’s why we’re thinking it is. What is your pain like, if you don’t mind me asking.
  5. BejeweledMexican

    Terrified to Eat

    Well, my back seems to be feeling a bit better but now I'm terrified to even eat because of this pain on both sides of my torso. The right pain is the same that I experienced last Friday with random sharp pains that come and go and now they're a little bit on the right side too. This isn't IBS, it's way up at the top of my stomach near my breasts. I'm terrified of pancreatic cancer. I know it sounds irrational since it's not a blinding pain and I'm only 25 but it feels better when I sit down and bend forward and I heard that is pancreatic cancer. I'm terrified!!!!
  6. BejeweledMexican

    Panic Attack or Cancer Spreading?

    I'm seriously such a mess today. I already feel horrible writing a new post on here since I already had one going but I'm just a mess. I need to at least vent and see if anyone else may be going through the same thing. I've been having really bad back pain recently, especially the past 3 days. My mind immediately shifts to cancer that has spread to the bones. I've been attempting to sleep on a pillow directly under my back and when I wake up in the morning it's not too bad, but then it starts to get worse throughout the day. Today after lunch is when everything got to me. I had my back pain but also my stomach started hurting really bad up top and then I just felt horrible all over, even into my hips! It was so scary and weird and all I can think of is that I have cancer spreading throughout my body. I caved and took an ibuprofen and my pain is managed as of right now but I'm such a mess. I almost went home early from work, not just for the back pain but because it felt like I was going to throw up. I'm 25, what some would consider to be a great age where you still feel good! Why do I feel like absolute crap???
  7. BejeweledMexican

    At the doctor’s now

    Th back pain is not completely gone but I would say it’s gone from a 5 on the pain scale down to a 1.5. Maybe it’s because I was so focused with this pain? It does concern me that my back pain is directly behind the area where this pain is, but it’s just so different. This is a horrible burning pain. The doctor told me to take omeprazole and see if it helps until I can get a gallbladder ultrasound. I’m hoping I won’t have to get one at all!
  8. BejeweledMexican

    At the doctor’s now

    It definitely isn’t muscular. This isn’t a muscular pain that’s constant, it comes and goes and I pointed to where the pain is and the doctor said ‘yeah that definitely sounds like your gallbladder’ but now that you say it isn’t I’m all confused now.
  9. BejeweledMexican

    At the doctor’s now

    The doctor came in and told me they think it’s my gallbladder 😢 they want to schedule me for a gallbladder ultrasound...I’m terrified!!!! They probably think it’s cancer and they’re just not telling me!
  10. BejeweledMexican

    Terrified to Eat

    When you say it lasts for a second does it every come back? Mine has been 'constant' in the sense of it lasts for hours but it only lasts for a few seconds, goes away, comes back again, goes away, etc. but it always comes back to the same spot.
  11. BejeweledMexican

    Terrified to Eat

    I just don't know what to do. Do I go to the doctor for this? My family keeps saying 'it's gas' but it doesn't feel like gas. I was having SUCH a good morning and now this. I did end up eating lunch, healthy food like beans and stuff, but I still feel the pain. It's honestly I guess more like a burning pain than a stabbing pain. I can't figure out for the life of me what it could be and I AM NOT going to Google....no use going down another added on rabbit hole. I just don't see how it could be muscular.
  12. BejeweledMexican

    Terrified to Eat

    I didn't really say this before but I should point out that I seem to only get the pain after I eat. I was fine all morning and then I had a piece of lemon pound cake from Starbucks and less than 20 minutes later the pain hit. I'm just so terrified I know I need to eat but.....I don't want the pain! Worst off, I don't want the cancer!
  13. BejeweledMexican

    How Do We Help Them Understand?

    I'm sorry that you're feeling the same way. Health anxiety is miserable enough as it is but going through it alone is like 5 times more miserable. I developed it a couple years ago in college and it was so nice to be able to have people to talk to about it and people who were there to help, now it's just a broken record, 'Go to the doctor', 'You're fine', 'Seriously, again?', 'I can't deal with you', etc. I'm at least glad we have this site where we can all come and be here for each other.
  14. BejeweledMexican

    How to stop body checking/scanning???

    Unfortunately it is not my lower back, it is my upper back which is more common in cancer cases....so....that's not good haha but thank you for the exercises! Hmmmmm well if you can't get rid of your phone maybe try and set up a system where every time you go to take a picture you instead play a level of your favorite game or you listen to a song you enjoy. I'm not sure if this helps at all but I try and distract myself. Like I'm at work right now and my first thought is to freak out about how much pain I'm in but instead I come on here and try and talk with people who understand in a way or I bombard myself with work to distract myself.
  15. BejeweledMexican

    How to stop body checking/scanning???

    Though I'm not having the exact same fears I am the same in the sense that I check for pain constantly, even though I'm already in pain. Like when my back hurts ( like right now) and I don't feel horrible pain, I move my back to see if the underlying pain issue is still there. I understand the OCD thoughts and it is not at all fun. I'm considering taking drastic measures in order to at least help my anxiety, such as cutting off social media completely. Maybe you need to get a 'dumb' phone that doesn't take pictures or a phone that can't access the internet. Anything that will help bring peace is worth considering in my opinion. I'm here if you need to talk or need help!
  16. BejeweledMexican

    Panic Attack or Cancer Spreading?

    This is perhaps the most encouraging thing I’ve read all day! Am I convinced I’m not dying? No, but you gave me hope. It’s funny because I don’t feel stressed. Like the only reason I feel stressed is because of my pain...how dumb is that? I need to find more things that bring my stress levels down. Do you have any suggestions? Also, when you say anti inflammatories what exactly does that include?
  17. BejeweledMexican

    Panic Attack or Cancer Spreading?

    So just a question, i’ve Never been to a chiropractor before. Would it be stabbing pain if it was a problem? Because I have pain all the time that’s achy, full, and constant but I also have random stabbing pains too.
  18. BejeweledMexican

    Panic Attack or Cancer Spreading?

    Can pain from anxiety go into your bones on your side? My pain kind of wraps around to the front 😩
  19. BejeweledMexican

    Panic Attack or Cancer Spreading?

    Crap. I didn’t even know spinal cancer was legit a thing, but I guess since my pain is *mostly* on my right side it may not be that. I’m pretty convinced it’s pancreatic cancer. I did a wide search of upper back pain on this website and most people thought it was due to pancreatic cancer. But my pain isn’t like blinding pain (though sometimes it can be stabbing) but it hurts constantly! Gosh I can’t handle this!
  20. BejeweledMexican

    Panic Attack or Cancer Spreading?

    Thank you so much for your reply. I am honestly not as worried of the stomach pain as that has faded but I can’t get the back pain to go away. Do you know what your back pain was from? Was it constant and in the upper and mid back?
  21. BejeweledMexican

    Panic Attack or Cancer Spreading?

    I actually do have a therapist but she doesn’t seem to care much about my anxiety, however, we’ve only been together for about a month so I guess I can’t judge her process too quickly. I’m just such a mess. Why does my back hurt? Why do I spiral out of control? Like i took two ibuprofen and I’m home now and I already feel the pain, slightly, but it’s still there. It’s just weird. First it was scary and then on top of scary I added on painful and now it’s all together just weird! I’m so done with this crap! Honestly sometimes I feel like I would be better of...well, you know. Ugh it’s just ridiculous! And I tell people I love and trust about it and literally every time it’s like ‘Well maybe you should see a doctor’ after i’ve Told them time and time again that it’s that statement that causes even more anxiety.
  22. BejeweledMexican

    Back Pain Persists

    Yeah my back is just all kinds of messed up and now my stomach too. I feel like I just want to pass out and sleep for days right now. My back hurts and there’s a big pain on the right side of my stomach, like near my gallbladder/liver. I’m seriously freaking out about cancer right now. Like why do I just feel generally horrible?
  23. BejeweledMexican

    Back Pain Persists

    The mid/upper back pain has persisted. I'm trying really hard not to think cancer but when I woke up this morning I had a panic attack at even the thought. It mostly seems to be on my right side, directly below my shoulder blade, but not underneath it, if that makes sense. It's not a pain like stabbing but it's an achy pain that doesn't go away. It honestly feels muscular but it's been weeks so I don't see how that could be. Last night I slept really really well, I slept with a pillow under my back, but when I woke up the pain was there again. About 3-4 weeks ago I got a standing desk at work, something I thought would help my back pain, but so far my pain just seems to keep getting worse. My boyfriend and friends think it's due to my 'huge knockers' aka my boobs, I wear a triple D but all I can think of is, 'yeah, breast cancer'. I'm just a mess y'all. Any suggestions? Recommendations? Does it sound muscular?
  24. BejeweledMexican

    Back Pain Persists

    My back is all messed up today. I woke up not feeling too bad but now it’s so annoying I could cry! It’s not pain like ‘ouch’ it’s pain like ‘if this annoying pressure feeling doesn’t go away now just kill me’. I don’t know what to do. I slept with a pillow under my back again last night and it seemed to help, at least this morning, but now the pain is back again and it’s like ‘why do I even try and think if’s NOT cancer?’ Ugh. The worst part is this doesn’t seem to affect anyone else. I’m also having loss of appetite. Ugh. Classic signs, classic symptoms.
  25. BejeweledMexican

    Back Pain Persists

    Just because I’m curious...is this for upper back pain or lower back pain? I didn’t know this statistic so I’m curious because I’m really having trouble finding people who struggle with the same thing.