Maddy

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About Maddy

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  1. Maddy

    Worried beyond....

    Thanks Leah
  2. Maddy

    Worried beyond....

    Thank you Bin, much appreciated that you took the time to reply to me, thanks again Thanks Leah, maybe I will just try to get on with life for a little while and try ut it out of my mind, seems this is not that unusual, hate that anxiety sent me to Leukemia
  3. Maddy

    Worried beyond....

    Thanks Leah, did they say why or any thoughts on why?
  4. Maddy

    Worried beyond....

    Thank you both. I feel sick to the stomach with worrying about this. Feel a little reassured with your replies. Thanks again
  5. Maddy

    Worried beyond....

    Hi All Been doing so very well lately until this week. Went to docs with pains in knees and turns out I have arthritis after an xray. I can cope with that but they also ran bloods and I am borderline Hypothyroidism and what has freaked me the most is low white blood count (3.7) should be 4 or above. My Doc said she isn't concerned and that maybe I have had or having something viral. I am so scared because of course I googled thinking I could cope with anything is said as I was feeling strong but wham I have now diagnosed myself with a bone marrow problem. Looking back at my portal my white cell has never been low before at least in the last 5 years so now I am really really worried. I don't want to go back to her after just a few days (I went for results Thu) She obviously knows my background with anxiety. Feel so alone and frightened and just want to run to the ER but what can they do sigh.......
  6. Maddy

    Freaking Out

    I understand were you are coming from. I felt like this over the weekend. I sometimes forget if I have taken tablet so bought a pill box with days on it to see if it was gone out of the box. HA does make me not want to get up and face the world. I went to a friends house and felt so detached. Maybe you could go and see your doctor and tell them your thoughts? they may be able to make some suggestions? or maybe change your meds for you. Good luck Wingnut.
  7. Maddy

    Worried, scared, just wanna stay in bed

    Hi ladies, thanks so much for the replies, I really appreciate it. I felt very alone with it but feel better knowing others go through similar. Yes she did suggest because I am due one anyway and I could have left it till my due date but HA panicked me into going to the doc....as it does most of us and to be honest I will be glad when I get it done to confirm whatever....thanks again
  8. Hi All As the title says that has been me the last few days or so. I have some health issues that I am very frightened about. This time it is BC. I know there are people on here going through BC or gone through it and feel guilty writing about my scare because not yet confirmed until I get checked out. Been having right side Breast pain and dry skin on Breast. Went last week to doc and she is always straightforward and said she doesn't think it is anything that I am thinking but as I am due Mammo lets get a diagnostic one done instead!! Freaked out!!! I have it all planned out am convinced I have this. I am seeing myself having an operation and chemo and everything else. Feeling sorry for my family as all our lives will change, feel it isn't always our anxiety and this could be so real, slept till lunch these last couple of days as I don't want to get up and think about the coming week of tests, son is getting married and fear I won't be able to go to the wedding, I know all these fears are a lot of anxiety but still it feels that this time this is really something I am going to face. Sorry to go on but any words from another worrier would maybe help me. Thanks
  9. Maddy

    Convinced myself I have endometrial cancer

    Hi Herbie1 I recently had tiny spotting on and off for a couple of weeks. went to the doc and she did an internal examination. Everything was fine except she did note blood on the walls. Because of this she sent me for an ultrasound. Like you I am terrified not of the tests but of the results. I went for the ultrasound and the tech said oh I think we may need to do a transvaginal ultrasound, my heart dropped out of my mouth I can tell you. Afterwards I asked if everything was okay and she said yes. My doc had asked for the Endometrial thickness to be measured. I am not sure how they get the measurements but they do get them with the transvaginal. She told me all was well and when I got the report from the doc the measurements were there. All was well and this has been chalked up to age related dryness. Now and then you can spot from it. Things can be seen if there is anything to be seen and I do think if they did see anything that would be the next steps to look further into it via biopsies etc. Please be assured that you would be in a worse place today if there was anything sinister going on. I understand your fears completely. I almost didn't make the appointment as I was scared but thought well....I have HA and this will help put my mind at rest and it did....but then HA moved onto something else like it does. Good luck, be brave and know we are all here for you.
  10. Maddy

    Had a fall and really worried

    Thank you for your replies both of you. I really appreciate it. I still cannot get it out of my head. I am so fed up feeling like this every time something feels wrong. Why can't I be normal. I watch people getting on with their lives, with their ailments and just wish I could be like that. I hate the way I feel at the moment so depressing. All I want to do is go to sleep and hide away.
  11. Hi everyone, Happy St Patricks Day Yesterday I had a fall and was taken to ER. My hip was the area most affected by the fall. They did an xray and thankfully no broken bones. What they did see was mild narrowing osteoarthritis of my right hip. My HA is asking and convincing me this might be bone cancer. I daren't google, I am so worried and have put myself in a very dark place. I feel miserable thinking I may have a bone cancer going on. Any advice anyone? Do I ask for further tests for peace of mind or do I accept the xray is correct? Thanks in advance everyone. Cancer of any place in my body is my biggest fear.
  12. Thank you so much lugrad91, I really appreciate you replying. I am in such a mess and HA has just spiraled out of control. Thanks again x
  13. Hello all, I haven't posted in a little while not because I haven't been having anxiety, I have had lots now I am very scared. So 3 weeks ago I ended up in ER as I was having terrible abdominal pain. I believe they gave me a abdominal and pelvic (not sure if it was pelvic too) CT scan where I had to drink a special liquid and had the IV also which came back normal as did my bloods.....since then my GP sent me for a ultrasound of the pelvic area as I had been spotting a tiny bit and I ended up having both ultrasound and transvaginal which again was normal. I have a thing with lumps and bumps, that is what sets me off. On the weekend I found a swollen lymph gland in the groin area. I went to my GP and she said it is normal on feeling in and not one that requires further investigation. She explained that I have them the other side too and could be from the fact that I have terrible psoriasis around that area and all over my body. I have always trusted her judgement and know if she thought it was anything bad she would send me elsewhere. Currently I am convinced this is lymphoma or a cancer spread from some place else in the body. I don't know if this gland was raised when I went for the CT scan. Would the scans have seen the groin area glands? It wasn't painful; when I felt it but since the doc did her exam and my continuing checking it is now painful. I am so fed up, sometimes I feel like is life worth it, I am on meds and they seem to stop working. She said she wanted to ask me some questions with my hubby there so I go back on Friday. She said she doesn't want to ask me these questions on my own because I will worry even more???? I am frightened she is going to tell me something is really wrong but knows I couldn't take this on my own. I spoke with the very nice receptionist at the GPs and she said she asked my GP and she wants to go through some thoughts I am having and as my hubby is the logical one he would listen better, something about some exercises too. I am so confused and scared she is waiting for hubby to be there to give me bad news and tell me I need further tests. I feel like going to the ER for them to check me again. I feel like giving up....how horrible is that! sorry for the long post. Is a doctor allowed to not give me the truth? that's how I feel right now or would she be in bother making me wait. My thoughts are terrible even close to just giving up
  14. Hi All Happy New Year. I haven't been on here for a little while as been doing fine myself - ish......today I feel very anxious for my mother-in-law. She is in her late 70s and found a lump in her breast. She has pain in the armpit and shoulder are and the breast feels heavy. On a visit to her doctor he said he was more concerned with the heavy breast at this time and has referred her to the breast cancer clinic, I guess for a mammagram? Now, she normally waits months before she entertains the doctor and she found this on Monday and went today. Whether this has been there for sometime I don't know. She is thousand of miles away from us and I am getting really anxious for her. She was pretty upbeat on the phone but she does play things down. Has anyone got any experience with this sort of thing, why would he be concerned about the heaviness and not the lump itself? I am very close to her and she lives alone. What causes heaviness? I'll take any words of wisdom or conditions that you may know about. I know I shouldn't worry but I am spiraling with anxiety today. Thanks in advance
  15. Maddy

    In ER with my mom freaking out

    Hope everything goes okay for tomorrow, prayers for you.