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AbeLinkedIn last won the day on February 11

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About AbeLinkedIn

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  • Birthday 12/23/1992

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  1. But right now my insurance is BS and I'm the kind of hypo that avoids doctors unless I'm forced to (Like my quarterly visits for medication refills). Brain tumor is off the table thankfully but I can't shake this feeling I've lost control. I used to be good about handling my HA but now it seems as though it's consuming me and making me regress
  2. I had something like that a while back thanks to my slight fear of driving once I obtained my license. I didn't want to drive anywhere until I eventually forced myself to go out there and not be a hermit bumming people for rides. We get this idea that all the world's a stage and as such, we get stage fright and think everyone is watching our every move, judging us in their heads. Once I started forcing myself to get out there it made a world of difference and IDC how people see me. Once you keep at it and challenge yourself, you'll see a difference I promise you. I hope this helps after the amount of times you helped me.
  3. Great, I'm having a panic attack. I've been messing with my eye for the past few hours and making it feel weird. My mom agreed to lay off thankfully but IDK if I can trust her and when I ask for reassurance she gets annoyed with me and threatens to do it anyway. I've lost control, I feel like a loser.
  4. Because she wants to be overbearing and tell him because I'm not going to. I know they're going to make me do the eye test (Covering up one eye and reading the chart) and I'm going to bomb it, I know that eye is not very good and it's going to escalate to getting more exams done and finding out everything is wrong with me that I was ignorant to. I'm so damn anxious right now, I have no control, I'm about to have a full blown panic attack and I can't calm down. There's no way out, I'm trapped
  5. I'm going to him tomorrow which is why I feel the way I do. She insists on telling my doctor the problem because I don't want to and feel it's fine, I can see just fine with both eyes since again, how often will I shut one? I feel like I have no control and I'm losing it. A doctor can't force anything on me right? If I don't want treatment I can deny it right? I don't want every little thing about me examined because my insurance won't cover everything if I have a ton of problems. Brain tumor I guess you're right on, but diabetes though I fear worse because I do drink a decent amount and pee every other hour. I'm also overweight which is a risk factor. I just feel like I have no control
  6. Problem is my mind is conjuring up everything from diabetes (My number one HA fear) to brain tumors and other things where a vision problem is a symptom. It's only on my left like I said but I'm dreading hearing the eventual bad news that I'm going to lose my sight at least. At that point I might as well end it all, but nope, she doesn't care, she just wants to be right
  7. About a week ago I made a thread about others interfering with my HA woes and offering unsolicited advice. I think I'm nearsighted in my left eye and I'm worried about what could be the issue and getting it checked out. I can see fine generally, but when I close my right eye my left is blurry but I can see the general shape of things and I can't read without getting super close. My mom found out about this and is more or less angry at me for not wanting to bring it up at one of my doctor visits because I don't see it as a problem, how often am I going to close my good eye? But now I'm petrified that I'm going to find out I had a problem all these years and I'm going to go blind in one eye and as a visual artist, that's s****de.
  8. I think that might have been my mind conjuring up conclusions with no evidence. Still, I'm wondering how to get rid of them. Looking at the little prevalence chart they're between stage 1 and 2 so not prolapsed unless straining hard, and while it won't kill me (Which is good), it's an annoyance and to someone with HA, bothersome.
  9. What can be done about hemorrhoids though? I think I have them since when I use the bathroom it's not in a huge volume. I used to go and, to put it bluntly, "destroy" a toilet but now it seems like I go more often in smaller increments. I keep worrying about extreme piles though mine aren't, assuming that's even the case. I feel like I need to retrain my brain and say there is no quota for a BM, as long as you get something out, that's all that matters.
  10. I hate to bump an almost month old thread but the fears are coming back. I'm beginning to get worried over my BMs again after a period of letting things happen naturally. I'm preoccupied with how often I go and how much and it's stressing me out thinking something's wrong with me. I can pass gas just fine though.
  11. Update: I think you guys are right, it feels more muscular in nature since it seems to come and go with movement and touch as opposed to constant pain. Maybe I bruised my back and didn't realize it? And if it was a kidney thing the pain would be constant right?
  12. Now I'm a little panicky: I went to pee and while I didn't have any pain while peeing, my urine is dark and amber like a beer, though I haven't peed in a few hours and maybe dehydrated but now I'm kind of scared, coupled with the pain upon movement/touch.
  13. That's reassuring, I just get these odd fears at times and wonder if something is muscular or visceral.
  14. How would I be able to tell the difference between something visceral or muscular? Help?
  15. So the other day I noticed a strange pain in my middle back on the left side. I thought nothing of it until it persisted today and now I'm wondering if I have a kidney problem. I'm not entirely sure of where it is except the main is mostly when touched or if I move a certain way, not when I pee or use the bathroom otherwise. I'm a mess, any symptom I feel my mind immediately goes to the worst case scenario