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About mla1209

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  1. Dark stool

    Thank you. I'm trying to convince myself it's just an upset stomach but of course my mind is on the worst case scenario. Now I'm afraid to eat because it might happen again. So far just 1 BM today. If this was diarrhea, shouldn't I be running to the loo non-stop even if I've had nothing to eat for the day yet? My stool too is soft and mushy, not watery. I hope it stays that way. ☹ The good thing though is there's no visible blood similar to what I used to see. But my stool being slightly on the dark side- blacki-ish but not tarry- makes me really worried as well. When I flushed the toilet the water became slightly dark. I can't say it's black black. Not even close to what my BM would look like when I used to take iron supplements.
  2. Dark stool

    Hi, everyone. It's been a while since I last posted here. I think it's an indicator that my HA has been pretty much in control. Sadly not for too long. Last night ( it's 4:35 am now where I live) I attended an intimate wedding reception where I had some steak, baked chicken, potatoes and what I think was raw tuna. Had a glass of iced tea, then wine then ice cream and cake as desserts. After the event, my friend dropped me off in front of a mall and I felt something was off with my stomach. I went to a public restroom, and although there was urgency, I had a BM. It was soft but not liquidy (sorry). The color though was a bit on the dark yellow side. I don't usually poop at night. Whenever I'd have bowel issues (I was diagnosed with IBS in 2015) they were usually in the morning. Usually it's the urgency, soft stools and then I'd be fine the rest of the day. So you can understand why I'm bothered by suddenly feeling the need to poop. This was all the more stressful as I was outside. Having a bowel accident and even just feeling the urgency are my biggest nightmares! This is what mainly causes my mornint anxiety every time I commuteto work. Anyway so I thought something I ate. Maybe the wine. Maybe the raw meat. I don't really eat raw food like the Japanese food type but I didn't realize the tuna was raw until I was finished with one piece. I went home and slept. So now I woke up at 4 and soon after felt extremely gassy. A few minutes after, another urge to go. My stools were soft again and dark colored. I don't remember eating dark colored food. The potatoes that came with the steak still had skin and the way it was cooked the skin appeared really dark mixed with oils. I had chocolate cake but that's about it. I'm concerned on so many levels. Why did I poop at night? That rarely happens to me. Why was my poop dark? To give you some background about why I'm anxious about this. In 2014 I experienced intermittent rectal bleeding. I had a colonoscopy which suspected IBD and they also saw a benign but precancerous polyp. A month after I had another colonoscopy to remove the polyp. IBD was ruled out because they didn't see any inflammation. A year after I had another scope and everything looked good. My fear is knowing I may have IBD after all or maybe another polyp. I used to feel relieved that I almost never had any diarrhea, which could be an indicator of an IBD. Constipation is more often. But now that I might have diarrhea, maybe some of my fears are coming to life. I don't want to have IBD. I can't have diarrhea. The thought of not having IBD is what's keeping me sane now. Sorry for a very long post. Really need your advice. I'm so scared now I don't feel like going to work. Thank you so much.
  3. Multiple BMs after eating veggies

    That's exactly what happens to me! 3 bms in one day and then the next 2-3 days nothing at all. When I go, I'm constipated. You'd think being constipated is better, but noooo! It's equally uncomfortable. Thanks for all your replies. I'll continue to eat veggies, maybe not too much though. I know it has to do with stress too, but there are times when I'm super stressed and my tummy would be okay. Other times, I get all sorts of problems- cramps, gas, incomplete evacuation, etc. The extremes. Stress and anxiety is still a mystery to me.
  4. Does this happen to you? It happened to me twice last year. Ate green salad at night. The morning after, felt the urgency to go. Rest of the day okay. It happened again this morning (our time). Woke up at around 2 am because my daugher was having a bad asthma attack and we had to give her the nebulizer. Really stressed out; my husband and I were arguing whether to go to the ER or not. Anyway, a few minutes after, I had bad stomach cramps. Thought it would go away but ended rushing to the bathroom. BM was solid. Pain went away. I woke up at 6 AM, had some water and a few minutes after, I had to run to the bathroom again. BM was a little soft, but not liquidy. There was a 3rd time, but nothing came out of me. I'm afraid the 2am cramps and BM might mean something. I didn't wake up from it. I had been awake before they started. First thing I'm worried about is IBD. Didn't see any blood, but I've had a history of intermittent blood on stool. I've had 3 colonoscopies since 2014 and I've been cleared by my GI. I have IBS and internal hemmorhoids, by the way. I think it could be the veggies. I'm not used to eating veggies very often. I was a picky eater as a kid but since having kids I've been trying to eat healthy. Maybe my stomach is adjusting? Has anyone experienced multiple BMs after eating a salad or vegetables?
  5. Waking up feeling scared, don't know why

    Thanks, Binn and Jenn. Yeah I'm pretty sure this is work related. And health anxiety is always a factor. I'm trying to remember my dreams last night but I can't. Maybe a lot of my worries were projected in my dreams so it went on even after I've awoken.
  6. Finally went thru Colonoscopy

    I've always known I have health anxiety, having witnessed so many family members succumb to different illnesses. Since college I've been scared of having lupus and diabetes since they run in our family. But several tests have proven I don't have them (fingers crossed I won't ever have those). But the colon polyp made me a total mess that I am now. There was a point I was too obsessed about it I couldn't take care of my children anymore. The exact same questions you mentioned above also run in my head, plus more haha. I still can't think straight when it comes to my colon issues. It helps a lot to know that we are not alone. My GI doc was very straighforward about my case. When he found my polyp, he said it probably had been there 5-6 years and if left for 5 more, it would have been cancerous already. Some of the things he said scared me: 1cm is big, this polyp is normally found in people 50 years old and above so it's not so common in my age. But his confidence that I will be fine comforts me. As long as I keep to my follow up scopes, I'm in a much better position to prevent anything from happening again. But I also get the "what ifs" in between. My doc said if anything alarming comes up, to call him or visit his office. The problem is I have hemorrhoids and IBS so the symptoms are similar and I might mistake one for the other. I might panic over nothing or I might be complacent about something that may already be serious. So yeah, I'm completely messed up. Hahaha. If only I could run to my doctor and get a colonoscopy done whenever I feel like it. Anyway, feel free to message me here. Can't offer much advice but just want to say we have to feel grateful that we caught it early. Others didn't have that chance, unfortunately.
  7. Finally went thru Colonoscopy

    I had the same, also 3 years ago when I was 31. 1cm tubular adenoma. This made my health anxiety worse than ever. They removed it in 2014 and I had another colonoscopy in 2015 just to be sure all of it was taken out. I completely understand what you're going through. It's precancerous but it's been taken out so there's no chance of it becoming cancer anymore. I think maybe you're afraid of another one forming? Believe me, that's what my anxiety is made of. You'll be screened after 3 years and maybe when that's clean after 5 years. So your doctor will be able to detect one much much earlier, if any. Yeah, this is what I've been telling myself over and over. I'm also interested in what others will advise you to do. Hang in there. Think about your dad's case. Maybe we're just unfortunate to be early polyp formers. But we're lucky we caught it early and there's nothing more that will come out ever.
  8. This happened two months ago and it stopped. Now it's back. I've been like this for the last 3 days. I wake up in the morning with this overwhelming fear and worry. I can't pinpoint exactly what I'm afraid of or worried about. I just don't feel well. I feel like something's not right. There's no particular illness that I'm thinking of, just yet. It's just a general feeling of uneasiness. When this happens, I pray right away. I'm so stressed at work right now. I don't like what I'm doing. I don't have the same passion for my job anymore. I want to quit my job and just stay at home but I can't because I'm the bread winner. The only time I'm happy is when I'm with my kids. It's too stressful for me to have to socialize with other people. I also worry still about a lot of illnesses. I worry about my stomach and colon 100% of the time. I've had 2 ocular migraine attacks in the last week. I've had it since I was 10 (now 34 y/o). But every time I still get a mini panic attack when it starts happening. I've had some issues on the gynecology side of things. I so want to be pregnant but am too scared I might get sick or the baby. Sorry for ranting here. I just want to let it out. My husband has not been very understanding about this. Just now he questioned why I can't be happy that i wake up every morning. Thank you!
  9. Bowel Issues Again

    Thanks for your replies. I really hope it's just undigested food. But my mind cn't stop thinking about polyps forming in my colon. My stomach hasn't been well lately. Morning cramps which according to my GI are symptoms of my IBS.
  10. Bowel Issues Again

    On a piece of stool I inspected (sorry for the TMI) it looked like small pieces of carrot. There's another piece that looked like a small amount of blood was smeared on it. Not bright or dark red, it was more of faint, light orange. I know I've had dishes with carrots, tomatoes and red pepper in the last 3 days.
  11. Bowel Issues Again

    Hi, everyone. I've been constipated for the last 3 weeks or so. On and off. Either no urge to go for 3-4 days or my bowels are hard to pass or the pellet type. For the last two days I've noticed small, faint red, almost orange looking specs on the surface of my stool. Today I "inspected it" and thought they turned out to be small pieces of carrots but I can't be sure. On a piece of stool, it looks like a stripe of light red across. I've been diagnosed with IBS and internal hemmorhoids. The reason this bothers me is because almost 3 years ago they found and removed a 1cm benign but precancerous polyp on my colon. In 2015 I had another follow up colonoscopy and the GI doc gave me an all clear and said I can come back for another follow up in 2018 which is the 3rd year mark. I'm afraid a new polyp has formed. More than a month ago, I went back to my GI because my hemm kinda decided to come out. It wasn't serious according to the doctor and now it's back to normal. Please help me think straight. I'm back at it again. I've stopped worrying about polyps because I haven't seen blood in my stool for a while but now it might be happening again.
  12. Couple questions re:Caltrate about stool

    Can't say much about Caltrate. I remember taking it when I was pregnant but didn't notice any changes to my stool. But I can totally relate with feeling nervous whenever I go more than twice a day, regardless if my stool is solid or loose. I've been so used to going once a day, usually in the morning, so when I feel another urge in the afternoon or at night, I start worrying. In my case, I'm also afraid of having IBD, colitis or Crohn's. It was suspected thar I could have one of these but my follow up colonoscopies ruled them out. But still, it's never escaped my mind. I also don't want this fear to affect my life. As it is, I've avoided a number of social gatherings in fear of my stomach acting up unexpectedly. I know this has so much to do with my anxiety as well. I hope you feel better and the lighter colored stool was a one time thing.
  13. Annual Physical Exam- High blood pressure

    Wow, hope that will work for me too. Haven't tried it, the drinking water part. But I have tried calming myself down by sitting still for five minutes and taking deep breaths. Before the physical exam I even listened to a meditation app (calm clinic). In both cases my bp was still high, I was still palpitating. But when I get home it's normal. I wonder if my digital blood pressure monitor is defective. I've been meaning to bring it to a clinic to compare readings. But I'm just too scared. I'll try and do more relaxation techniques, but honestly I'm hesitant to get my bp read elsewhere because of the possibility of it being high again, thus confirming I am indeed hypertensive.
  14. Pregnancy fears

    I too have fears of getting pregnant again. I have two kids, 10 and 3. With each pregnancy my anxiety has gotten worse. My husband wants us to have our third and last baby. I do want another baby too but I'm afraid of getting sick or the baby inside getting sick. I'm worried about all sorts of pregnancy induced illnesses like gestational diabetes, eclampsia and the likes. I don't know if I can handle it. But I don't want to disappoint my husband either. Right now my problem is my blood pressure. It's high whenever I get it checked at a clinic but normal when I'm at home. I don't want to be hypertensive especially when I'm pregnant. I'll do my best to be really healthy (like keeping my bp within normal range) and then I'll consult with my OB to see if I'm still fit to be pregnant again. I'm 34, by the way. Being pregnant is one of the scariest times of our lives, as women. There are real health risks to the mom and the baby. I hope that when you decide to have a baby that you can deal with your anxiety well and it doesn't get in the way. Easier said than done. But I'm sure there's lots of help and support out there. It doesn't have to be complicated. (Need to remind myself of this)
  15. Colon polyps

    Thanks for always responding, Ihadcancer. I always appreciate your insights. No one in our family had/has had any of the cancers you mentioned. What do you mean when you said my GI doc was doing it to cover himself?