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About Esperahol

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  1. I use a mp3 player with headphones and a good pair of walking shoes. Panic makes me antsy so I walk from my house to wherever and if it takes me a couple of hours that is simply what it takes.
  2. Even the commerical make mention of how you could be jacking yourself up worse with the medication meant to help you. That said it is worth a try and you can always stop it should sympthoms worsen.
  3. I think one of the Cracked list spoke about the epipany of finally finding out what is wrong. Personally I'm the sort of coward who'll step around an issue given half a chance. That said I am happy that you are happy and I hope your problems are dealt with sooner rather than later.
  4. I have to get up at a certain time so I need to go to sleep at a certain time. I go to bed, and I do not go to sleep. I daydream and plan and curse a bit and yawn. I am not going to get a full eight. I am not going to get a full six. I hope I get four. I only have a chance at two. I didn't get to go to sleep. I'm so tired. I don't- I don't- I. Chronic insomnia sucks.
  5. If I am speaking to a perfect stranger who is not part of a help desk or such I will generally descend into a panic attack sooner rather than later. If I am speaking to someone at an office or help desk I will only become nausea. If I am talking to a teacher or college I will remain calm. If I am talking to family or friends I have no issues. It is a matter of familiarity, unless I am recieving a call in which case I am calm as anything.
  6. Collect your thoughts, gather yourself, and speak slowly with precision. You must speak with deliberation and calm otherwise you will stutter.
  7. I have perfected the art of not being noticible if I don't want to be and it is quiet lovely. I simply can't stand to be seen because 12 years of public school and 7 years of daycare have left me rather mentally scarred all things considered. To be noticed is to be attacked and I've long since grown tired of that.
  8. 1.) You decide you have an issue. 2.) You try and fail to resist the complusion. I have a fairly mild/ somewhat moderate issue with regard to germphobia. I need to wash my hands a certain amount of times, I need to disinfect my shoes upon entering the house, I need to change from outside clothes into indoor clothes, if someone does not do those things and enters my home I must disinfect everything they come in contact with. I buy an unnatural amount of bleach, soap, lysol, and lye. I have washed my hands until they've bled, and that was with me fighting to stop. It is OCD no doubt... although it sometimes gets better and other times becomes a stone I can't crawl out from under. I think you're okay if you can say no and walk away. If you can't then you need to seek help as soon as possible to try and curtail this.
  9. You seem to have a moderate phobia of medication and/or unfamiliar substances. I honestly have never had that issue although at times I have come under the complusion that I am eating something unkosher or that my food is full of corruption or that maggots/roaches/worms are wriggling about in my substances. Generally these sympthoms appear more often if I am tired or extremely agitated. I hope you find a way to deal with.
  10. I love the movie Major Payne. It's a stupid movie really, but I don't have to think or suspend my belief or anything I can just veg out and laugh.
  11. I think the thing the kids should really take from it is that rampant consumerism, loveless sex, and being shallow are not something to be emulated or praticed no matter how often popular media teaches you these lessons.
  12. You do have a problem, and you have met the first step in the solution by admitting that. You seem to have an eating disorder although I won't speculate on the specifics of it or the underlying roots for it. I will say that there are resources available that you seem to be qualified for. Some of those resources are government-funded, while others are more local but it either way you should reach out to them rather than go without. The next thing to do after that is to see a doctor and tell him about your situation. Another thing you can do is look up local resources for mental health since they may well be able to provide assistance that the doctor can't or won't. One last thing would be to look at how you use what funds you have in producing your family's meals. I would suggest checking out recipes from the show Semi-homemade on Food Channel because the host has personal experience with making food stretch.
  13. So ME is the same as CFS? Are there any other terms that come up for this?
  14. For me panic is like a stairwell that circles down and at the top I am juggling five small red balls. When the wrong situation comes up it causes me to drop one or more balls and until I can gather them back up I'm a useless twitchy little ball of nerves. The wrong situation could be because I'm dealing with the unknown or because I'm racing through all the negative conseqences of a current choice or because I simply feel my chest tightening. If my chest begins to tighten I will assume I am entering a panic state and then the balls will fall and I will most definitely be.
  15. What do you mean that you need them to talk about? Are you wanting the support you receive from others or the attention? Maybe if you found a social activity to immerse yourself in then you could find yourself letting go of your panic both as a condition and as a need.