Ihadcancer

HA for family members?

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Ihadcancer    283

My husband has a lot of health issues and I worry that each bout could be bad enough to cost him his life.  He's almost 70, works full time, coaches two sports, sings in the choir plus solos at church once a month. He helps me teach a huge class of 1st and 2nd graders each week in Sunday School but when he gets sick......... he really gets sick.

We went to the walk in clinic on Saturday because he was coughing so bad. The doctor was very rude and gave him a script for doxycycline and a few days worth of steroids. He was much worse yesterday so called his pulmonologist downtown Atlanta at Emory. She was going to admit him to the hospital today!

He had a petit mal seizure while doing 70 on the highway 2 years ago last week.  I grabbed the wheel and guided us, tho I couldn't slow us down because the car is standard transmission and his legs were locked. He woke up with me screaming that he was going to kill us.  

He can't urinate. He lost bladder function 35 years ago so has to catherize himself 5 times a day. He's had almost monthly infections plus many procedures.  It wasn't until they did a CT scan / MRI to figure out the seizure that they found he'd damaged his lower spine probably playing college football and that's the area that controls the bladder.

He has severe asthma which is coupled with COPD with Exacerbation from the asthma being undertreated. One younger sister died at 61 and his 59 year old sister has the same thing. Both parents (step father) and grandfather smoked one right after the other in their homes and cars. 

He has high blood pressure. He has to take thyroid meds and has high cholesterol.  He has Rheumatoid Arthritis but it's in remission right now. 

I worry about him so much.  He snores and when the snoring stops, I check to see if he's breathing.  

Am I the only one with a family member that is so very ill that you worry constantly that every day could be their last? 

I would be homeless pretty quickly, which doesn't help matters. 

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BrokenArrow    44

I can't really say anyone in my family is that sick, but I definitely have HA not only for myself, but for my wife and kids also. I keep tabs on everything. Every time my wife goes to the bathroom I ask her if she feels okay or if her stomach is bothering her. I check on my kids in the middle of the night atleast 3 times each. I wake up in the middle of the night and watch my wife sleep just to make sure she is still breathing. None of them are sick or really have any medical problems at all. I guess our brains are just programmed to fear for them as we fear for ourselves. 

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Jennie048    37

I will get high health anxiety when it comes to family members...my husband had a rough time last fall/winter...we all had two colds back to back and he suffered with it seemed like a never ending cough after two rounds of antibiotics.  I urged him to go to the doctor's a few times -- with my suggestion -- he had a chest x-ray and then CT scan...I was really worried about lung cancer for some reason even though besides the cough - had no other symptoms and didn't fit the risk factors as otherwise healthy and never smoked...all was fine and all tests normal and he is better just took the cough awhile to go away.  He said I made him really anxious with my HA and had him convinced he had lung cancer.  I felt so bad that I did that to him but couldn't help it...he is the type that generally never worries. 

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AbeLinkedIn    15

I do as well, particularly because my parents are up there in years and my mom has a history of epilepsy. It's weird in a sense because I can't feel what they feel and understand what's going on with them like I can with myself. For instance my dad's an avid smoker, so even though he won't mention anything, I know his lungs aren't in the best shape, so I worry for him. 

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mlouise    20

My son has Cystic Fibrosis so I am ALWAYS on guard. However, he has a great support team so I know if anything were to start developing, we would be in good hands.

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Ihadcancer    283
On 4/7/2017 at 11:26 AM, AbeLinkedIn said:

I do as well, particularly because my parents are up there in years and my mom has a history of epilepsy. It's weird in a sense because I can't feel what they feel and understand what's going on with them like I can with myself. For instance my dad's an avid smoker, so even though he won't mention anything, I know his lungs aren't in the best shape, so I worry for him. 

We have our youngest son still at home.  He's almost exactly 2 years younger than you.  I try to not let him know how worried I am because that's too much to put on a 22 year old.  Nick dealt with my cancer (twice) and chemo in 2009.  He's the most caring of all four. 

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Ihadcancer    283
On 4/7/2017 at 11:58 AM, mlouise said:

My son has Cystic Fibrosis so I am ALWAYS on guard. However, he has a great support team so I know if anything were to start developing, we would be in good hands.

Doctors thought our oldest had CF back in 1971.  Thankfully, he did not.  When he was about 35, they kept testing until they dx'd Celiac Syndrome, which was the cause of the CF type bowel movements and slow growth as a baby and problems his whole life.

I don't know how you deal with this, mlouise!  I kept a friend's baby for a few months and he had CF. The work that it took overwhelmed me.  I finally told her she either needed to quit work or have a nurse to care for him.  There was no time in the day for me to do anything but his treatments and feedings.  She got SSDI for him and quit work and has since had another child who is healthy. CF killed several of our children's friends as they were growing up.  I know a LOT has changed in 30 years, tho, and many are living much longer than 30 years ago.  I cannot imagine how I'd cope, tho.  

 

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Amel    23

I often wonder if the health anxiety I've been suffering the last 3 months wasn't a way of turning worry for my family on to myself. About a year ago my sister told me she thought she had MS because she was having weakness in her arms and really bad migraines, 2 MRIs later she seems to be doing ok. Still having migraines but has been told migraines can cause some lesions on the brain and mimic other neuro symptoms. 

My Dad was teaching a Sunday School class back in the fall and he asked to turn to one chapter in the Bible and he began reading and everyone started turning at each other because he wasn't reading where he asked everyone to turn. Then he said oh im sorry and gave a new chapter and it still wasnt the right one. I immediately thought he might have alzheimer's and of course my mind goes to caring for someone with alzheimer's, the cost, how it's a long goodbye etc and how difficult alzheimer's was for my grandfather.

My dad also had major heart surgery about 2 years ago and that was a difficult time with all the what ifs going through my head as well as his recovery. While he recovered well it was a slow process. He doesnt take care of himself like he should and he is getting older so I'm always concerned for him. In December we had to take him to the ER on my birthday with severe dizziness, high blood pressure, and strong heart palpatations. I thought oh great, I'm going to lose my dad on my birthday. 

My mother was diagnosed with MS in 2001. She lost her dad (my grandfather) the year before and I feel like my mom was never the same after my grandfather's death. She had a lot of guilt that she couldn't do more of the care herself, that she didn't do more in general but my grandfather had alzheimer's, parkinson's and an enlarged heart so he needed specialized care. 

Her MS hasn't progressed as quickly as initially predicted for which we are thankful. She is still able to get around and do things for herself albeit slower and needs to be more careful. She sometimes loses her balance and has had a couple of bad falls in the past few years.

Compound that with all the failures, shortcomings, and mistakes I feel I've had in my life. I'm kind of the black sheep in my family I think. Disclaimer: I've never been that bad but my sister has been the ideal daughter and It's easy for all those things to project back  on yourself and worry for your family.

I'm hoping and praying that I can get over this anxiety and truly focus on the important things in life and simply enjoy life. I used to love playing tennis, going for runs, travelling etc. But I sadly got to a point where I felt other things like money, partying, drinking etc. were more important.

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FunWithFive    33

I worry about my husband my all the time. He is only 31 but for some reason I worry about him. He has been having symptoms of IBS for 10 years and of course I worry it's colon C. Every time he takes his pulseOx at home with our reader it's like 93-95 which worries me he might have a lung disease because he grew up around cigarette smoke. He get bad headaches on occasion and I worry it's a brain tumor. His back has a lot of moles and I worry about melanoma. 

He sometimes has chest pain he thinks oh acid reflux and I worry it's something with his heart. 

So to answer your question YES, I worry about my husband constantly. And to make matters worse he has the opposite of HA and doesn't overthink anything and never sees a doctor. 

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