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ravenskye    1

So, let me start with the fact that I'm 23. All my life I have dealt with social anxiety. It use to not be as bad as it is now. When I turned 18 I went to college, a couple times actually. The courses I chose didnt work out because it was sort of what my mom wanted for me. Also the professor had some assignment where I had to speak in front of class so I would drop out. 

Anyway, I went on to try and have many jobs but I would always quit. Because it is so much easier to stay home then to face my anxiety and work 8 hours a day 5 days a week. 

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. He wants a life with me, marriage, babies... and he is the manager of a store. We are struggling for money right now so until things are fixed we can't have a future. I love him to pieces. He recently offered me a job. I want to take it but I don't know if I can ever get up the courage to work. I want to but I'm scared. I don't wanna fail him again. 

I was walking today and found this website. I don't really know if this is how you're even supposed to use this site but here I am, writing this here. Maybe I really want help this time.

So, anyway, if anyone has any tips or anything... It would really be nice. Thanks to whoever reads this. (:

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MARC    48

Working can be tough. Over time if your mind is occupied with constructive things such as work, your anxiety will improve over time. I would just give work a chance and try to tough it out. All of us feel anxiety at work; just some more than others. Accept your anxiety, instead of fighting it and you will feel better. 

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nightgale77    0

Hi there, I'm glad your bf is very supportive and loving towards you.  Thank you for sharing btw! It takes courage for one to do so. Whatever fears that you might have, it may be good to sit down with your bf and work through it together. Do you guys have any mutual friends that both of you trust? If yes, it may be good to sit down with them and share some of the thoughts you might have about the job and other stuff. In a way, talking about it helps you to put things into perspective and help shed some new light into your situation. Hope this helps! Praying for you. 

 

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DanStelter    2

Hi ravenskye, 

First, thanks for sharing your story. That's exactly what you should use this forum for. It takes courage too...and a lot of it to share what's most difficult for you in life. 

I used to be the way you describe. I knew I'd fail in jobs. And it actually happened. Several times. My social anxiety was strong back then. Today though, I'm quite happy and peaceful working from home as a copywriter/online entrepreneur. 

I love it. And I don't feel like it's a way of avoiding social anxiety by not working in a physical workplace. 

Real jobs are tough. Stressful. Nearly 70% of Americans don't really care for their jobs. See: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/why-so-many-americans-hate-their-jobs/

I'm not saying you shouldn't bother working a job at all. But I am saying maybe a work-from-the-store job isn't for you. 

...But don't worry. That doesn't make you a failure. 

You simply have to get creative. Consider self-employment. Work online from home. Work at a real workplace from home. Grow a business by advertising services for what you can do on Craigslist. 

I'm just throwing out ideas. Something may fit you much better than a job. 

You could also work 2nd or 3rd shift. Or, you take a job where you work independently (not in a cube) most of the time. 

Again, you'll have to look at your own skills to figure out what'll work best for you. But, certainly don't give up hope. 

You may also consider taking the job your boyfriend offers. But of course, if you're sure you'll only fail, you will. So now may not be the right time to take that job. 

On the other hand, you need money to survive. So you may want to give it a shot. 

Consider what's the worst that could happen if it doesn't go well. Check your other options. 

You have a place in the world of work. Every social anxiety sufferer does. It's just that you have to be a little more creative than the typical person. 

Hope that helps. And hope you find amazing work you love. 

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BeeDot    7

Hi and welcome! I'm sorry you are struggling, but really glad you've decided to reach out. 

 

Have you you been able to talk to your boyfriend or any friends about this? I have spent many years trying to hide my anxiety and, wile I still struggle with it, it helped so much to bring it into the open and share what I was going through with other people. Now, instead of always struggling alone, I have one or two trusted people to talk to. Even if they can't do anything and I just tell them, hey, things are hard right now. I feel like I've been heard. 

 

 

As someone said above, most of us have anxiety at work, to varying degrees. Have you been able to identify what TYPE of work might be ok to start with? 

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Rebecca911    0

I feel like my hearts going to stop been docs so many time I think it's not anxiety something worse funny feelings in my head carnt sleep I was on sertraline 150mg they and I didn't get thwm this bad 4 week ago they put me on citalapram and I feel much worse get em every day can't sleep or anything they said wait few more week to c if they kick in 

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Roxxy    0
On 3/28/2017 at 1:52 PM, ravenskye said:

So, let me start with the fact that I'm 23. All my life I have dealt with social anxiety. It use to not be as bad as it is now. When I turned 18 I went to college, a couple times actually. The courses I chose didnt work out because it was sort of what my mom wanted for me. Also the professor had some assignment where I had to speak in front of class so I would drop out. 

Anyway, I went on to try and have many jobs but I would always quit. Because it is so much easier to stay home then to face my anxiety and work 8 hours a day 5 days a week. 

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. He wants a life with me, marriage, babies... and he is the manager of a store. We are struggling for money right now so until things are fixed we can't have a future. I love him to pieces. He recently offered me a job. I want to take it but I don't know if I can ever get up the courage to work. I want to but I'm scared. I don't wanna fail him again. 

I was walking today and found this website. I don't really know if this is how you're even supposed to use this site but here I am, writing this here. Maybe I really want help this time.

So, anyway, if anyone has any tips or anything... It would really be nice. Thanks to whoever reads this. (:

 

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Roxxy    0

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I like e with anxiety and it has cost me 2 jobs and I'm scared it might cost me the one I have now. Luckily my husband is my supervisor so he knows the deal. I also went ahead and spoke to my big boss and confessed my anxiety levels and explained that that's why I would often call out or leave early. Guess what? She told me that she suffered with something similar and is on meds for it. Well, I'm not telling you to go ahead and tell everyone you meet what's going on with you but I do suggest you speak with a professional. I rely on my husband I'm sure your boyfriend wants nothing but the best for you as well. You are very young speak to a professional and you might be able to back to school and do whatever it is you really want. Remember that you are not alone although it might feel that way at times. You can do this you can make this right. Best of luck to you and your family.

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