MsLLL

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MsLLL last won the day on June 11

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About MsLLL

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    Advanced Member

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Europe/USA
  • Interests
    reading, Meditation, Yoga, gardening, spending time with family and friends, listening to music.

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  1. not sure about the induction. Sorry.
  2. Hi @enidoreilley I'm sorry to hear you had to go through a major panic attack. I have been there and it's not a fun experience. But with all setbacks and everything we live through, it is proof we do come out on the other side ok! Unfortunately anxiety feeds on all our behaviors, stressors and our strong attachment to over-worry and obsessing. Eventually the levee breaks and the panic attack arrives. That puts us in a frenzy and makes us long for more health explanations. It's a cycle and it's up to us interrupt it. If you can't right now that's totally ok. Just remember you will one day! If that means you need more health screenings, so be it but there comes the day we all have to face what is happening to us and how to be ok with it. I'm not talking down to you or anything nor do I think you do anything wrong, I totally understand how it is. Just keep the faith that you will be fine in the end even if it's hard to believe right now. Not to scare you but I'm wondering also if the lumbar puncture is something the MD wants. My uncle had MS and he had it done years ago, and it is rather uncomfortable procedure but I'm sure things have changed since since then. Don't know your preference in music but music is a great healing tool in my opinion.
  3. I love that! Great advise.
  4. Could this be a Panic attack?

    Hi Zelda, yup, that was a panic attack. Nothing more and nothing less. They are very unsettling to say the least but the good news is, once we know for sure what it is we can deal with it. And the 'what if's' slowly fade away cause they are not needed anymore. I too thought I was dying from a terrible disease, overlooked by the many doctors I consulted until one awesome doc said: I think you have anxiety sweetie! And that has helped so very much.
  5. My health and worries

    Hi Positive! Nice to have you on AC. Welcome:) You have described your struggles and successes in detail. I'm afraid no one will be able to really tell you if you should leave society to live somewhere else. That is such a big question only you could answer. Until you figure out where you want to be you could get yourself familiar with things you are drawn to. For example spending time in nature, exploring things you like. You've mentioned non-western civilization, things you are attracted to you there could be incorporated in your life right now. You could check out books or audio-cd's at the library for little cost to get an idea about things. As for the anxiety you get when you think about meeting new people: There is only one remedy: You got to leave the house and meet people! Take it step by step and day by day and don't beat yourself up if you don't click with someone right away. I honestly don't think about if people like me or don't and because of that I'm relaxed and have a good time when meeting someone. So even if you are nervous or had a bad experience in the past, things can be changed! The more you practice meeting people the more experienced you will become. And don't have expectations. Just say hi to the mailman, or the person at the grocery store, little things like that can help you along the way.
  6. Fear of eye exam

    I did last year for the first time! I took a person I like with me, and was lucky to have had a wonderful doctor who joked around a lot. But when she asked me if I wanted three long lashes plucked I drew the line ( cause they never bug me). Good luck, you can do it. Just accept how you feel and go through the motions.
  7. What gives?

    Hi everyone I'm going to pin down yesterday's events to give all of us H-O-P-E Yesterday I had an OB/GYN appointment. Last year, I had the same appointment with the same doctor and I was in shambles; i.e. on the verge of a panic attack, trying to hold it together desperately (which doesn't work btw!). My face and neck was red,my heart was racing, I was sweating profusely and couldn't concentrate on much in the conversation with the doctor because I was full of fear and anxiety, in introspect the entire time, scanning my physical symptoms and my thoughts). ( My anxiety fully broke loose a couple years ago when an OB/GYN misdiagnosed me with a condition that leads to a rather quick death because there is no treatment for that particular condition). This year: I had a great visit, I connected with the doctor, got all my questions answered and was joyful! And best of all: It felt real and authentic, nothing was forced, nothing was expected, I was just present in the moment. I remember Bin_Tenn posting something about a different doctor's appointment he had, stating he was enjoying it. That sounded rather strange to me at the time, but yes, ladies and gentleman: It's possible and can happen! Is anxiety my friend now?
  8. Bit Anxious

    Hi Anxiousdesi, I don't know if this helps you but I give it a shot: I used to work in a profession where I saw a lot of people pass away. I would touch them while they were passing (if that was there wish prior) and I would touch them after they had passed (sometimes I would help the people who worked for the funeral home or the morgue). Anyway, please believe me you don't have to wash yourself after you went to a funeral. You are not being silly and I take you a 100 % serious, since this is a fear of yours. You are probably sad those people died (grief) and you have dreams and want to start rituals (the washing) because you are trying to protect yourself. There is no reason! You are fine, I promise you. Death is not contagious and spirits will not come and hurt you. It's just part of life to die and anxiety sufferers tend to be more scared of death than other's. I understand. My best Wishes!
  9. Feel like i'm falling apart

    Hi AnxiousDad! Sorry you are dealing with a flare up and good you are on here talking about it! Yes, I have had the "swollen' tongue syndrome last year. I clearly remember how I checked in the mirror obsessively and convinced myself it was a sign of a dire disease and an early death. I got checked out by an ENT Doctor and all was fine. In my case I had anxiety and didn't know it at the time. Take a deep breath and know you are fine (until a doctor tells you differently, and even if that was the case you would then take it step by step). Don't fight anxiety as the others tell you. Don't feel guilty for having it and not being able to 'snap' out of it or wishing to be different. Accept who you are, the more you do the more peace it will bring. And the people around you will be able to accept it more as well. And the only way your wife could understand it would be if she had it too, and even then her symptoms and experiences would be different. My best Wishes:)
  10. Can't do anything until doctor's appointment

    I love this @ Mocha1. So very true!
  11. Hi, It looks like you are getting throughly checked out. Best of luck. If your doctor feels you need an MRI he will send you there, try not to stress or obsess over that if you can. PS: I think you are in the right forum You are not triggering any fears in me (since I know what I have and I'm at peace with it). Best Wishes:)
  12. Hi Bunny! It's good to have you here on AC. I think medication works different for all of us. I used to be really scared to take medication for my anxiety and tried to avoid it as long as I could. Now, there is a lot of people on AC that don't take medication and work on their anxiety in a different way. In my case: I don't have any side effects. I did for the first few days I was on medication but it came from anxiety and panic, not from the medication itself. I don't feel loss of emotion, a doctor told me people are scared to take SSRI's/SSRNI's because they are afraid it will change their personality---and it can't. I feel less symptoms of anxiety but it's a combination of things, not just the medication. I did counseling for a long time and other things that helped. Medication is just one part of it all. And medication will not magically make all anxiety symptoms go away which is ok. But it will give you a break if your symptoms are so bad that it rules your life pretty much 24/7. It's a chance to check out other remedies while on them, to eventually get off them and be ok that way too. My best Wishes and I hope you can make a decision that feels right to you:)
  13. Hi RJ! Your post is a good reminder of how I used to feel. I wanted to live and be happy but anxiety 'forbade' it. I too thought I was going crazy cause what else can cause such an uncomfortable state when there is nothing physically wrong with us? Be assured this is exactly what it is: You are in the midst of the vicious cycle of anxiety, that's it. Sounds rather simple but yeah, it's not. It has such a hold and power on us that we feel trapped, like a caged animal, trying to escape and the hope that this could get better gets weaker and weaker. BUT: It will get better! You are not crazy at all, you are just full of fear and doubt yourself. You can't trust yourself and your own judgement right now. That's ok. Try to accept everything that is coming your way, I know it's easier said than done but believe us, it is possible and pretty much the only way to deal with it. Just try to be in the present now matter how uncomfortable, I guarantee you that is just temporary! Accept it's anxiety playing one big game with you. Take it step by step. Don't worry so much about how to make yourself happy in the future, things will fall into place over time. I hope this makes sense to you. When I was in the middle of anxiety and people told me things like this I always felt more 'foreign' and like they were speaking a different language. I agree with everything Mark posted too. My best Wishes to you:) There is hope right now, I promise you even if you can't feel it right now.
  14. More Weird symptoms

    You certainly didn't sound like a jerk @bin_tenn I guess I'm just overly sensitive...lol
  15. More Weird symptoms

    Oops. sorry guys. Tried to fix a typo and duplicated this. My bad!