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  • Gilly

    So, here we are. And a big thank you!!

    By Gilly

    January 2012. The past year has been eventful to say the least. Met some amazing people, had some bad times, some great times, some frustrating times but lots of laughs too. And now I find myself in charge of a site. Just how did that happen? lol It's never been my intention. I love to help people, in helping people, I help myself. I've said in the past, if it came down to it, I would be willing to do something. I guess I didn't really think it would happen, but here we are! It's a shame that things didn't work out at the last site. I always tried my best to help it work, doing this was an attempt to make it work. No matter what people thought, my intentions were for the good of us all. To make a site where everyone felt able to come, to get support, to not feel alone and to have a bit of a laugh when it was needed. I took it upon myself to try to push to make it better there, it didn't work, maybe I was wrong, maybe it was meant to happen like this, idk. But it happened, it got out of my control, and now here we are. One of the things that motivates me every day, and believe me I've been struggling with motivation a lot lately, is all the people I've met in the past year or so. How supporting each other has made such a huge difference. Looking after my paralyzed Mum is a daily struggle, I'm unhappy with that, I know I am. I don't want to have to do it, it's hard enough battling my anxieties but it is what it is. Having such amazing people to keep my spirits up, it keeps me plodding along. I want to thank you all, it means more than I can put into words. I will give this site my all, we're in this together. It's for us, and we deserve it. xxx
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  • MrsRoryFromRunrig

    Why Make A Blog?

    By MrsRoryFromRunrig

    Why should one make a blog? There are a number of reasons to why making a blog is great, the advantages are: 1 - Relieves Stress 2 - Can help others 3 - Preach what YOU care about 4 - You have control 5 - It can actually turn into a business (like Cake Wrecks). There are a couple of disadvantages though: 1- Research, can take up time and not always be correct, always double check. 2 - People may read what you see as light hearted chat as to be something mean and nasty. 3 - Trolls, yes they happen on blogs too. 4 - Websites go down 5 - Some blogging sites are difficult to use and puts people off. Here at AC however it's easy peasy, and within reason you can blog about what you like, but please, if you blogs are hate, racist or too explicit, they will be deleted and information will be passed onto Admin who will then decide which action to take with your account. Thanks for reading! Pamie
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  3.  The next big move for me is to rid myself of the bullies of the past!  When I was a kid;  I watched TV; it was all I had!  In the Tv shows;  you never saw the bullies!  You saw kids going to school and coming home!  But in real life, with no more father;  no protection, no more family,. completely alone!  Bullies come out from everywhere,  their like sharks and your a piece of meat in the water!  they find you, no matter what neighborhood your in!  You cant go out freely and play or be apart of things!  More importantly, at the school level, I was bullied all the time;  I was traumatized to the point, I could not function in school, nor do I remember any classes!  What kind of country allows this!  

    The point;  I have faces of those bullies up close to me controlling me without my permission; and they are doing it all the time;  pure control,  like kidnapping or hostage taking!  Or being captured,  when your suppose to be in a junior high class or 6th grade class or high school class!  When I moved back to my home town in my senior year of high school!  I was stopped dead in my tracks by the same bullies who bullied me in 7th grade!  Nothing has changed!  and I was controlled and bullied in the classes in school!  same thing!  It was ridiculous!  I had no idea this was going to be my future!  it was horrible!  and worse then this!  

    I have to face these experiences and work through them; but I see the bullies faces up close and personal and they controlled my movements, what way I walked,  directions,  I ws being controlled like I was under the control of the enemy!  All of this was occurring because I had no father at home, no home to protect me!  IF you have no home; your ruined!  Theirs no way out!  Your taken over immidialaty!  I know why children kill themselves because of this stuff!  its the free roaming of criminal based sociopaths on school grounds; thats all it is;  indirect government intimidation of the people;  another form of humiliating the general citizen in their country;  its scare tactics to keep the people down so they dont rebel and start a civil war!  

    I had civil war started against me by my own people in my own country!  

    So,  what do I do!  how do I get these faces out of my mind and my face and my eyes and memories that haunt me!  This is the next thing to work on and be free off;  and I believe it can be done!  One reason it was so horrible is that the bullies indicated my father was no more;  he was no more ever going to be a part of my life again and their was no one to protect me!  no family to protect me or stand up for me!  Being bullied is an indication that your not worth anything,  that others can take advantage of you and your not worth having a family that is suppose to protect you!  

    .

     I have allot to work with here!  But knowing I dont have a father now, and knowing why,  Im somewhat free of it!  I mean; Ive faced allot of stuff! if I can get rid of the bulling aspect, work through it,  face it,  process it and expose it over n over n over;  possibly I can leave it in the past where it happened and live a knew free life!  thats the goal;  I am starting to know how to live again and I dont want this past stuff trapping me in the past!  trapping me in the present!  I will work at it!  so hard;  I have to get help to learn how to get rid of it!   Its a very humiliating demoralizing sickening thing to face;  its one of the hardest hit things to deal with!  its truly horrible thing;  ordeal to face and work through!  

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    anj1030
    Latest Entry

    I’m new to talking about...”It”...but my therapist suggested that I find a group of forum to talk to others who may understand...well...me.  

    I apologize if a blog isn’t the place to do this.  I’m the new girl.  But I need somewhere to unload...lol.  I was officially diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in March.  But I have been struggling with it for a few years now. I hate everything about it.  I hate the person that it makes me become.  My anxiety makes me an incredibly insecure person...I compare myself to every other woman.  (Prettier, skinnier, smarter, more successful, etc).  And I immediately assume that I am not worth the love and attention that my husband gives me...and that he MUST be wanting to give it to someone else.  After all...I’m not worthy. 

    So, as you could assume...this causes conflict in my NEW marriage.  This poor man constantly feels as though I’m accusing him of being unfaithful when in reality I’m most likely having an anxiety attack and merely needing him to remind me of my worth.  Is this fair to him...?  Absolutely not...but I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP.  I tell myself to cut it out...hes going nothing wrong...your merely overwhelmed in “life” and your trigger is a woman texting him about the thing he has listed for sale on Facebook.  Ridiculous.  But in my head...this woman is going to come and be so much more...MORE...than I could ever be to him, and he will know that I’m nothing.  And he will ultimately leave me.  

    Like everyone else has...my entire life.  

    But he doesn’t understand this.  He gets mad.  He gets defensive.  He gets frustrated.   And I can only imagine that my trying to explain my messed up head is merely excuses to stupid jealous behavior.  

    We have the most amazing relationship...he is quite literally the jelly to my peanut butter...but I’m not sure he can handle my crazy parts.  And I don’t know how I can ask him to.  I hate them more than he ever could...I almost want to save him the trouble and leave before he does...ha ha.   But I won’t...he’s my person.  But i have to find a way to control these insecurities.  My anxiety is apparently going to happen...how I handle it needs to change.  

    Any advice you guys can give...I would SO appreciate it!!

    -A

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  5. Today I woke up with a ton of anxiety but now I am feeling pretty well. I had to post a video for an online course and it was making me so anxious. I got it done, was able to do the dishes, sweep, and take a shower. It is amazing how mundane tasks can give me so much anxiety. When I wake up, I see dishes in the sink and it freaks me out. Does anyone else feel anxiety when you think about mundane tasks? It's terrible! I am still waiting for the therapist to call me. It seems to be taking some time so I am going to call tomorrow. I see my practitioner on Monday and I hope that she can tweek my meds a little more to help me with my anxiety. I wish I could find more people to connect with on here. :(

  6. emzi
    Latest Entry

    I'm not an angry person. For most of my life I've been avoiding conflict for the life of me. Even when my brother used to steal and break my dolls I would only cry the most when my mom found out and he got into trouble.

    In fact, anger is something that's not discussed in our house. It's basically an unwritten rule that we have to smile and act polite or it's just unacceptable. We always have to be happy. I can't count the number of times when my mom has told me I don't get to be mad because I don't have to put up with everything she does or I don't get to be mad because I've had it better than she did. I used to listen. I'm starting to realize that maybe I don't have to.

    This year has been pretty difficult. I found out a lot of things about my family, I got rear-ended by a drunk driver, and I began to get snippets of memories of sexual abuse from my childhood. I've been trying to be so positive, but lately everything's been changing and it's making me feel like I've once again just stood up before someone's pulled the rug out from under me again. Without alcohol I've had to deal with it, and I've been trying to let myself not be so controlling over what I let myself feel.

    Sure anger has it's downsides. Sometimes I just want to punch the wall or scream at the world in frustration. It clouds my judgement at times (as any emotion does) and makes it hard to keep up my "nothing to see here" routine. People that I can usually put up with I've had to sever connections with because I just can't do it anymore. I'm less approachable, less of a pushover, but I don't mind.

    Mostly I'm alright with it because for me the benefits outweigh the detriments. It's a means to an end. If I get angry I can process it all. I get to feel what it did to me, and I get to get rid of all of that negative energy so I can move on. Maybe I won't move on from everything, but at least I can start to heal and take back the power the past has had on me.

    So if you're reading this, be angry with me. Don't be afraid of it. Anger can be a weapon, but it's also a tool. Depending on how you use it it can sew you up or rip you apart. You can't learn how it works until you experience it for yourself.

    What is something you're angry about? 

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    Panic attacks suck. I know it, you know it and anyone who has fallen victim to one knows it. However, this one simple exercise could help you relax in a pinch.

    What if I told you that you might be breathing all wrong? In fact, experts estimate that only around 12.5% of the population uses this optimal breathing technique.

    I understand it may sound silly to some that breathing has a technique to it. Let’s face it, air goes into your lungs and air leaves your lungs. It can’t be that hard, right?

    If I told you to stand straight up and take a deep breath, most of us don't use Diaphragmatic breathing; also known as abdominal breathing or belly breathing.

    Instead, they would likely be lifting their chest or shoulders to take in a deep breath. This is called shallow breathing and can cause more problems than you think.

     

     

    Breathing with the Belly

    Imagine an infant sleeping soundly in front of you. Do you notice that the child does not actually breathe with their chest and shoulders?.

    Babies automatically breathe using a muscle called the diaphragm. We humans instinctually use this same muscle while we are sleeping or unconsciously breathing.

    The problem is that when we are conscious about our breathing and with the knowledge of the lungs as we age, we lift our chest and shoulders to take a deep breath.

    This doesn’t mean we never belly breath, it just means that when we are consciously aware of our breath we tend to trick ourselves.

    Not to mention that after some time of being consciously aware of the ability to control our breath, we tend to use shallow breathing more than belly breathing.

    Unfortunately, when you are having a panic attack, you are very conscious of your breath, which leads to hyperventilation.

    Not to worry though because this easy exercise can get you back on track to breathing correctly.

     

    Taking a Deep Breath

    To take a truly deep breath and be consciously aware of it, the first thing you must do is just be aware of your posture.

    You can do this exercise in one of three recommended positions:

    1.       Standing straight up in a relaxed position trying to keep the chest out slightly and shoulders back.

    2.       Sitting straight up in a relaxed position trying to keep the chest out slightly and shoulders back.

    3.       The easiest way is to simply lay on the hard floor.

    Note: This can be used during a panic attack, and I would suggest the floor because it is the most restrictive to your movements. I would not recommend lying on a soft bed for this exercise because your body will sink down causing your shoulders to squeeze your chest area.

    So, now that you have your position, take one hand and place it over your chest, and then place the other hand right below the ribcage so the thumb is touching the curve of the lower part of the sternum.

    Now, take a soft breath and then exhale, but when you exhale pull your abdomen in as much as you can. You will notice that this helps empty the lungs.

    Start to inhale, but as you do focus on your stomach and push it out. You will notice that even when pushing your stomach out your body automatically inhales as this is using your diaphragm.

    Now, upon exhaling make sure it is slow and extended.

    Your hands are merely there to help you be consciously aware of which part of the body to move while breathing.

    Try to take large, but short, comfortable inhales, followed by long slow exhales. This allows your body to relax and your heart to slow.

    Exhaling gives your body a natural relaxation response. I cannot stress enough that it is ideal to go slow and steady, but comfortable.

     

    Counting for Comfort

    Now that you understand the breathing technique, it is best to make sure not to overdo the process.

    I cannot tell you how many times I have been focusing on my breath, and suddenly noticed I began to hyperventilate because I was literally overly worried about how much air I actually needed.

    I have come up with a little counting exercise to use during those exact moments. That way I will always know how to calm myself without inducing hyperventilation.

    After your first inhale hold your breath for 5 to 7 seconds. Exhale slowly as previously instructed, but DO NOT inhale immediately. Pause for 3-5 seconds before you pull in your next breath.

    Once you figure out a good and comfortable rhythm try to add counts to your inhale and exhale. Inhale slowly for 3 to 5 seconds, Hold for 10 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds and wait to inhale for 3 to 5 more seconds.

     Practice Makes Perfect

    Once you have the technique pretty well memorized I would suggest putting in some practice and making it habitual.

    Giving any skill practice will cultivate it over time and belly breathing is no different.

    I suggest taking five minutes per day to really focus on this great technique. After a while, you will notice that during the day you will automatically belly breath to relax.

     

    Wrapping It Up

    There are so many great things that can come from belly breathing beside a quick panic attack helper. But the greatest thing it increases for someone like us who suffers from anxiety is the increased relaxation.

    Every time you belly breath to fill your lungs completely and then follow with a slow exhale your body gets love from your brain telling it to calm down.

    While this is not a cure for anxiety, it is a really great tool for you to use anywhere at any time. Not to mention, when it becomes habitual you will find it helps to lessen a number of panic attacks you will have.

    Give it a try. You have nothing to lose except an incorrect way to breath.

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    Beliza
    Latest Entry

    Hello, my name is Brooke and I just recently joined anxiety central because I was in search of some advice regarding my health anxiety. It all started with the bottoms of my toes and feet feeling numb after one of my long walks. A couple days had gone by and the numbness was still there and that's when I decided to look online to understand why I was feeling this numbness and I came across all of these awful things that could be wrong with me and that's when I got scared and my anxiety started.

    From then on I had been in a state of constant anxiety and each day I would feel worse and I had a tightness in my chest, a lump in my throat, an upset stomach and tingling calves which worried me even more that something was wrong with me. It's when I finally made a post on here about what I was experiencing that I learned that all those things I was feeling was because of my anxiety and once I learned that, the things I was feeling started to get better and for the most part, go away. I'm still dealing with my health anxiety and am being hopeful that it will get better soon. Aside from health anxiety I also suffer from social anxiety and occasional anxiety due to stressful events.

    I feel writing this right now helps with my anxiety and I also feel that discussing anxiety with other users that may be going through something similar would be helpful too. If anyone would like to share any similar experiences or has any opinions or comments to add, please feel free to do so :) 

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    dearprudence
    Latest Entry

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  8.  

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    Being obese is not a problem but taking no steps to reduce the weight is. If you’re afraid and bored of vigorous exercises, you should add walking to your to-do list. In the beginning of the interview, Mr. Marshal, a physical trainer added, “if you’re tired of workouts and still there is no weight loss, you must try walking”. If you know the tricks, you can burn extra fat by stepping on the road.

    Pack a perfect pair of shoes

    The first step you would take in walking is to buy shoes. Make sure it has normal flat surface with low-heel and fits you perfectly. Even a minute difference in measure can ruin your walking style.

    Walk before breakfast

    Studies say that, “walking as soon as you woke in the morning will help you burn more calories”. You will lose your glycogen levels during sleep and your body fat is used as a source of energy.

    Create your favorite playlist

    You should not get bored in your first attempt itself. So, before you step out, add your favorite songs to playlist. This will increase your walking route and pace. Adding beat songs may force you walk a little longer, so avoid sad songs that make you return home soon.

    Find a path to walk

    Walking pace and time depends on the route you’re going to choose. We don’t walk to our office nearby but we walk for miles in any holiday destination. Why is that? When our eyes get attracted to a place, it keeps forcing you from behind to walk, no matter how badly your legs pain. Find available long routes near to your house and choose the one with more trees, park and coffee shops. You can take rest for 5 minutes at the part and get water bottle from the café when exhausted.

    Who’s your walking buddy

    Well, if you’re very social and easily get bored while walking alone, all you need is a partner. The accompanier can be your sweet puppy, close friend or even your grandfather. Set your daily goal, motivate each other and achieve it.

    Sip green tea

    Don’t go to bath straight away when you return home. Sit for a while and drink green tea within 25 minutes after a brisk walk to heal cell damage and to see the slimmer you.

    Fats vary from person to person. So, don’t drop walking if it doesn’t give you any fruitful result. Be calm and chase your dream!

    Source: Modalert

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    SHALEASE
    Latest Entry

    Being home everyday is something alot of women dream of. Most days are okay. Then there are those days I wish I could go out alone. People take things for granted, like going to the store. Or even taking their kids to the park. There are a few people that try to understand. Others tell me it's all in my head. Or say things like I should force myself to do it. All of them mean well I guess. Doesn't help. Just makes me feel worse. Sometimes I figure I should be used to living like this. But I can't and it's a hard pill to swallow. 

  9. I wrote off a group of friends from the previous state I lived in, about 13 years ago. They were mainly friends with me through my best friend, who I found out down the line was telling people before they even met me that I was "difficult to get along with". In the open she always commented, how I was a prude, or pasty white, or had no boobs, she'd laugh it off like it was some happy joke between us, but it wasn't funny for me- she was making light of things I could not or would not change. 

    I also tried out a couple of them to watch my two cats while I took off on vacation for 5 days, one person got a ticket while in my car and tried to deny it. The main couple thought each other was watching my cats, so neither came to tend to them. 

    So after spouse and I wrote them off, only telling them "we need to work on our selves, our lives, have a good life y'all, see ya"; we worked on our house and then sold it after a year. Moved across country. I thought I would get a job and make friends. Check, check, but then after 6 years, I quit said job and it ended up my co-workers did not wish to continue the friendship outside of work.

    I don't delve into drama, nor perpetuate, or judge people. I don't have kids, not single, cannot drink alcohol because my body won't metabolize it, and I am not pretty. I have some friends an hour away but lucky if we see them three or so times a year. I asked one of them privately what my quirks were when another of them brought up, in a group chat that they "like me with my quirks". The friend told me I could be "slightly sarcastic, which wasn't a bad thing, and that I tend to be self-effacing, also not a bad thing".

    I am clueless about either of these. I am only sarcastic with my husband because he knows when I am being funny. Self-effacing means something like "staying in the background, not wanting to be the center of attention". And this is supposedly what drives potential friends away?

    After all this time, I have not gotten used to not having friends, haven't had anyone other than husband to celebrate my birthday with in over 15 years. I never complain about it until now because I know that would turn people off. 

    My head hurts, my heart hurts, it feels like no one cares, and it stresses me out immensely to not know how to fix it. My whole body is just so tense.

    I've tried volunteering, several times at different places- animal shelters, archaeology digs, art centers, etc- to meet people and learn about the areas I live in. I am currently part of a huge volunteer-run organization, which is how I met the current friends- but again, lucky if we get together with these people three times a year because of being frugal with gas an cash since I am prematurely retired, being a stay-at-home wife, and husband is probably looking at earl retirement because he is so burnt out.

    It just feels so hopeless. The friend site, again, only has people who are looking for friends an hour away from me. 

    So BIG hugs to anyone who feels they are alone. You are not, I am here for you, and appreciate you for who are. I have enough love and hugs for anyone who needs it.

  10. Ihadcancer
    Latest Entry

    HI Everyone,  I haven't been around because I've been doing so very well.  Working in my  yard and being creative. Back at the gym, etc. 

    Image may contain: plant, flower, tree, outdoor and nature

    Image may contain: outdoor

    I'm on Facebook under Diane Weldy Tavegia and anyone can read my blog.  

    Absolutely doing GREAT!

    Diane

     

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    Hi :)

    I just signed up for AC after a few months struggling with what I have been told is a 'panic disorder'. (i'm still not convinced i'm not dying, which definitely doesn't help the anxiety.)

    Recently i've been struggling with this strange discomfort/pain in the left side of my chest and left arm pit. It comes and goes, but is almost present. I can feel this weird pressure/tension in the top of my left breast, the left side of my chest, my arm pit, and sometimes it radiates somewhat down the inside of my left arm or down the left side of my ribcage. Originally, I believed it was related to my heart, but after multiple EKG's, tons of blood tests, an echo, and a chest xray all came back normal, my doctor is convinced that it is related to my anxiety. It feels like a muscle or nerve thing, but my doctor doesn't see the need for those tests. There's no swelling in my chest and I can't pinpoint where the discomfort is coming from, it truly makes me feel like I am losing my mind.

    This new anxiety started at the beginning of January, after returning from visiting my parents abroad. About 4 hours after landing I felt this hard thud in my chest, I got super dizzy almost collapsed when I stood up, my heart was racing and my legs were shaking uncontrollably. I went to the ER thinking I was having some sort of heart episode, but they did a bunch of blood tests, an ekg, and a chest X-ray which all came back normal. They hooked me up to 2 IV's which brought my heart rate down, they attributed everything to dehydration and sent me home.

    A few days later I was watching TV when all of a sudden my legs started to shake uncontrollably again, my heart started to race, my chest was incredibly tight, and I honestly thought that I was going to die. I went back to the ER in the morning and they did more tests but couldn't find anything. They told me I most likely experienced a panic attack and to talk to a therapist 

    It's now almost the end of February, and i've experienced around 5 of these panic attacks. It starts with the shaking/seizing of my legs, the pain in my chest is multiplied by 100, my heart races, I can feel extremely hot or freezing cold at the same time, it feels like theres fire in my veins spreading from my neck down my chest and back, and when it happens theres nothing I can do but sit there feeling like i'm dying. It's terrifying. I absolutely hate living this way. I keep hoping its muscular or a nerve, at least those are treatable with medicine and go away. 

    Now, when I start to feel the pain in my chest it automatically sets off my anxiety because i'm thinking about it. Sometimes my neck feels really weird and tight, it feels somewhat spastic. The neck stiffness/spasms and leg seizures made me think it was neurologic. I get nervous that one of these attacks will happen while i'm in class, luckily so far I that hasn't happened.

    I've been in Zoloft for almost a month and haven't seen much improvement. My doctor dismisses this pain and basically just sends me home to deal with it on my own but it's difficult when you don't know what you're dealing with. I was on klonopin for a month, 1.0-1.5 mg could usually bring me out of that panic state.

    I haven't spoken to anyone this in depth about how it makes me feel. I'm sharing my story to see if anyone experiences similar symptoms, and with the hope that someone struggling with similar issues takes comfort that they're not alone

     

    :)

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    TwitchyCanuck
    Latest Entry

    When fighting a battle, there is always strength in numbers. But, having someone by your side sometimes comes with a cost. Superiority in numbers is something very different from strength in numbers, and, with anxiety, this can be a crucial difference.

    Late at night, when my anxiety found me alone in the dark and slowly pushed me over the edge into a panic attack, I used to think that everything would just be better if there was someone there with me. I think the isolation that the dark and quiet of night time is what made this the worst time for my anxiety. It was harder to distract myself when I was alone, and I didn't have the helpful distraction of trying to keep a strong mask in places for everyone around me so they would think I was fine. At night, there was nobody there to see me struggle, nobody I had to put energy into making believe I was fine. And, nobody to support me when I finally tipped into panic.

    I've been with my wife for five years now, and what I have come to discover is that no longer being alone may have helped me in some ways, but it has also presented challenges that I didn't expect. I don't get the night time panic that I used to get, and in some ways have better control over my anxiety than I ever have. But, I've also adopted my wife's struggle with anxiety, panic and depression. In some ways, that's been a tougher battle than the one I faced alone.

    I suppose I thought that addition would lead to subtraction; I thought that by adding a partner, I would be subtracting anxiety. In fact, adding a partner added their struggles and difficulties to my own. There's nothing simple about the arithmetic. Whenever you add, you add complexity.

    This is not to say that I have regrets. I guess this initial post is really just a recognition of the fact that a lot of us face what we feel is a solitary struggle, and sometimes we think the solution is out there for someone to simply gift us with it. We want the solutions to be simple. We want someone to take the problem away. But, the world is more complex than that, and the solutions are never simple. The strength we gain in numbers comes with the commitment we have to make to give back to that network of people to help them with their own troubles. My wife has helped me face a lot of my own problems with anxiety, but the struggle is still there and has taken on a new dimension because I, in turn, have to help her deal with her own. And, that's difficult. Just as it's difficult for us, as a community of similarly afflicted individuals separated by screens and distance, to share of ourselves while needing the sharing of others to keep moving forward. 

    I'm here and willing to be your +1, of the occasion. But, can you be mine?

  11. 2017

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    hawaiiborn
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    This is the time we all start to look at what we did last year and how we can change for the coming year. What is the one thing you want to do to make this year different from last year?

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    mswcmw
    Latest Entry

    Hello, recently moved to Buffalo, finding a new job, doesn't start until the 28th, so bored nothing to do and the anxiety has been hitting me pretty hard usually starts when I wake up which is very difficult, Started reading a Conversation with God but it seems to have made my anxiety much worse, feel like I've wasted my life, have hypothyroidism, and been fighting depression all my life. Afraid to succeed, have appointment for the doctor on tue and a therapist wed, how am I going to make it? Living with my daughter and had a good chat with her and felt better that night but woke up, and it started all over. I try and stay busy and hike or skate but it's insidious and hits when I least expect it. Tried alot of different things for depression

    Thanks for reading my pissing and morning 

  12. I had a pretty decent day today. I still had a little bit of an attack but nothing like I normally do. I really think I am on to something by not sitting in front of the computer all day. I actually went out to the store today. I didn't go in but I did drive all the way there and I was pretty close to fine while my wife went in and grabbed some stuff. I played baseball out in the yard with her and my kids today. That is something I wouldn't have even considered doing a week ago. I am moving forward. I ate a good dinner, drank a good amount of liquids and haven't really spent too much time thinking bad thoughts. I had about an hour relapse when it started to get dark and I got a little depressed but I fought through it. I didn't freak out, I stayed decently calm and rode out the attack. I feel okay. Not great, but okay. I can live with okay. My entire house seems a little happier. I'm pretty excited that I can pull it towards the right direction. 

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    This week has been hard for me. I have been seeing my current BF for 6 months now. He knows about my anxiety, but I don't like to show it to him all the time. I love being able to talk to him about it because he makes me feel safe, but I also do not want to scare him off with it. He loves me unconditionally, but I also have an understanding that explaining anxiety to a person that does not have it over and over again can get pretty frustrating to the other person. i am trying to find the fine line between feeling supported and being over the top. I have not been over the top, but the past two weeks my health anxiety has peeked and I am constantly thinking about it. I want to talk to him about it, but I know he is running out of things to say because he doesn't understand. I am hoping that writing my thoughts down and possibly hearing from others could help curb my need to talk to others in my life that may not understand. 

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    Christel123
    Latest Entry

    Hi everybody ! I did a blog wich talk about getting the control of anxiety. It is in french but you can use google translation. I will be thankfull to you to visit my blog and also give ideas if you want.

    http://anxiete.eklablog.com/

    Thank you !

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    Well... It's been a few months since I started dating him and some say we moved too fast but we are engaged and trying to enjoy all that it brings. It's hard though when I spend so much time feeling out of control. Then I start to hate myself for bothering him when he fights his own anxiety and depression. I just want to know what it's like to not feel guilty about being happy or standing up for myself for something I truly want. Most of all I need to learn to not feel like I'm bothering him since my whole life he has helped me fight this war.

  13. Hello!

         I wanted to share something going on with me that is separate from my anxiety/panic/depression. (The story of why I have anxiety/panic/depression does not seem like an important detail to tell. I only want to share the journey of recovery.) For a few years now I've had trouble with my lower back. Nothing too serious (so I thought). If I began to feel pain I would just take it easy for a few days and treat it with rest, ice, and Aleve. BUT about a month or so ago, right after my anxiety/panic returned, I woke up with excruciating pain down my whole left leg. I couldn't feel my toes or outside of my left foot. I could barely walk. I started taking heavy doses of Motrin and using ice, but it was no use. I figured the pain would eventually subside but it wouldn't let up. Finally I went to my doc and they kind of down played it, thinking I was just being sensitive. They sent me for Xrays and put me on a prescription strength Aleve (naproxen). They also put in a request for an MRI. Long story short they rejected my MRI 3 times. I went back my Doc for a different problem and I told him the problem was persisting. I received a referral to the spine specialist. Finally the specialist got me and MRI and I began physical therapy. Well, yesterday I saw the specialist to go over the results...it's not good. I have two herniated discs. One of which is so degenerated that there is practically no disc between the vertebrae. The disc is laying onto of the sciatic nerve completely covering it. If that isn't repaired, I could have permanent damage of the nerve forever. Which means numb foot for the rest of my life. (Oh, did I mention I am a dance teacher for a living so MOVING is my livelihood?) He said he may have to do surgery! I DO NOT WANT SURGERY! I don't want to take any narcotics because it messes with my anxiety. So for now, I will continue PT and they're going to give me cortisol shots! Yuck. And if that doesn't work I will get "minimally invasive" surgery to shave down the disc off the nerve. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm very upset because this is a lifelong problem and I am only 24. I'm scared it will ruin my career. I can't run, lunge, or squat. So my gym activity is very very limited. This is exacerbating my anxiety/panic because it is an additional stressor that affects my overall attitude plus increases my levels of tension in the body. Now I am seeing two types of therapists...a cognitive behavioral therapists and a physical therapist. I am not a healthy girl right now and I am frustrated and scared. I'm putting so much effort into getting better it exhausts me. My social life has suffered a lot but I everyone is telling me that I HAVE to take care of myself right now and put ME first. I have difficulty with that. If anyone is reading this, did you ever experience a significant injury like mine? How did you overcome it? Did it make your anxiety worse? How did you cope?

    Thanks for the read. Sorry to ramble. :D

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    The relationship between God and anxiety is actually very complex. Some people see turning to God as a way to gaining strength against anxiety disorders, and use their religion as their primary source of coping.

    My husband has been suffering from anxiety for three years now and because of this he was not able to work for one year. I know that there are people out there who have suffered for much longer. But, no matter how long one has suffered, you know the toll it takes on your life and the lives of the people who love you!

    Every time my husband had an attack, we would have to make a trip to the emergency room. These visits took place at least once a week sometimes, two or three times a week! After about three months of this, I would try to convince him that he was not dying and he needed to calm down. But, there was no convincing him of that! His chest would hurt, he couldn’t breathe, and he was convinced that he was having a heart attack. It got to the point where I was growing more and more tired of the ER and the ER was tired of seeing my husband for the same thing time and time again. I got so bad, that after a while, it seems that they were going through the motions when treating him because they just could not convince him that he had yet ANOTHER ANXIETY ATTACK!! Now, this was not helping him and I was not helping him either by getting frustrated and angry because here we go on ANOTHER TRIP TO THE ER!! Our relationship was suffering because of this. Something different had to been done!

    Yes, he did eventually come to terms with the ideas that he does have anxiety and eventually went to see a physiatrist. The physiatrist put him on medication and I can say that it did help. But, there was still something missing in his recovery. This is what prompt us look to God…

    Christianity teaches that belief and strength are a great way to support your own mental health, and that it's your duty to take care of your emotions

    God helps people who believe to overcome anxiety because the core of anxiety is fear. People with anxiety fear the unknown and the belief that the unknown cannot be controlled. Beliefs in God and what he teaches will help promote less anxiety, because what he teaches runs directly with the issues that cause anxiety.

    In the bible, it says fear of the unknown shows a lack of faith in God. If you're allowing yourself to be overcome by anxiety and fear, then you are showing lack of faith and trust in God. If you trust in God, the future is nothing to fear. God also teaches that death is nothing to fear. In fact, life lived in God’s plan is a promise to eternal life. Believing in God is about having faith in him and his plans for you. Having complete trust helps in managing anxiety.