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  3. NervUs

    Please help me- I need clarity

    You are right that I am not past it. I expect it will be part of me for the rest of my life, although I do think having young children is a precipitating event for me. My daughter has a friend who comes over a lot and she has a baby sister, constantly putting things in her mouth and my heart drops. I will think about therapy. My major hangup, really, is money. We are out.
  4. bin_tenn

    Lyme Diease worries

    You're fine, and you'll be fine. Seriously doubt you have it, but if you were to contract it, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Not at all!
  5. ivyt73

    Clonazepam on backorder

    Probably Teva, they were yellow and Actavis replaced Teva.
  6. bin_tenn

    Please help me- I need clarity

    Yes, most people would not think twice about it. In fact, a lot of people would probably not take any measures beyond physically removing the raccoon waste. When you are so overcome with anxiety/OCD, it's very difficult to comprehend that others would not react the way you do, but they don't. Obviously you won't be able to resolve this within yourself by tomorrow, but you could take tomorrow to start working on it. I know how it is to procrastinate. You think you're doing so much better, and maybe you really are. But it becomes apparent, even in low frequency, that you're not completely past it. I know; I'm in that exact position right now! I saw a therapist for the first time a couple weeks ago. And today I scheduled my next appointment. I thought the same: wow, I'm feeling so much better! That is, until I have a sporadic panic attack, and I regret not having pursued therapy and possibly meds sooner. And now that I waited so long, it's going to be even longer before I get to a good place where I truly am able to cope without overreacting. I would highly recommend seeking help. It's good to know you feel you've improved, but you can tell you aren't completely better. And that's okay! It happens to the best of us!
  7. zmichelle557

    Have to have a colonoscopy

    So.... haven't been on in what seems like forever. HA has been somewhat tame. So backstory is I've had IBS D for a long time. At least 17 of my 31 years. So a little over a month ago I noticed my stools were wide and flat. Kept and eye on it and noticed I still have my IBS flairs and occasionally I have a normal poo. But in between time they are flat. Thickness can be as thick as a normal bm to as thin as 1/3 of an inch. I upped my fiber and noticed they were more normal but I wasn't taking much, I added two fiber pills and ate a banana a day and I have had one normal stool a day since Friday and then back to flat. Anyway, I talked to my doctor today and he said I have to have a colonoscopy since its a change in bowel habits. To be honest I know I've had flat poop before it just went away within a week or two. I'm scared they will find something horrific and I keep crying thinking I've got months to live. I have a huge fear of cancer. Also want to note, no blood, not weight loss, no vomiting, not genetic or family history beside my grandpa who got it in his late 70s. I'm tired of fighting HA I've let so many things go and just moved on in the past year but after today it just stirred up so many repressed feelings. I'm handling it better than I used to. But it's definitely scary and I don't know anyone else who has flat poop. I also have had IBS so long I don't even know what normal for me looks like.
  8. NervUs

    Please help me- I need clarity

    No. Obviously, I have thought about it, but other than this I have been doing really good lately. This one, I think I'm in such a fluster right now, because I need to get this solved by tomorrow, lol. I have had a terrible year anxiety wise (involved finding a bat in my daughter's room) that nearly sent me over the edge. I think I hit rock bottom. Then, I clawed my way back to life, things have been going well, normal triggers have not triggered. I was actually pretty calm about this even until the dirt in the driveway discovery today. I am so worried about someone getting harmed because of me. I guess I just can't believe that my efforts are enough/good enough. Would other people really just move on after cleaning one time? Part of this too is I feel so isolated, like I am the only person in the world unlucky enough for this to happen to. That is, having the poop at all and then possible contamination. BUt, I guess this stuff is other places too since they probably walk in it. It's probably been in my yard for years, only I had no knowledge.
  9. Yesterday
  10. jdgate

    Lyme Diease worries

    So I've been doing okay until today. I was sewing and a tiny bug was crawling on my hand. It had a dark body and bright red legs. I accidentally smashed it when I went to get it off my hand. I'm worried it was a tick and I'm going to get Lyme disease. I picked a tick off the dog yesterday.
  11. bin_tenn

    Please help me- I need clarity

    Have you sought help yet, such as from a therapist? Sorry if I've asked before. My mind is pretty crappy lately. Haha.
  12. NervUs

    Please help me- I need clarity

    I know it does scream OCD. It is physically impossible for me to take the risk with my kids though, and their friends that come over. That is what trips me up. I wish I could trust my brain.
  13. bin_tenn

    Please help me- I need clarity

    The whole ordeal screams OCD / anxiety to me, 100%, aside from the precautionary measures recommended by the CDC. But beyond that, yes, absolutely. I've not experienced anything quite like this myself so I can't completely relate, but I can definitely relate to the general thought process and behavior. Please try to let this irrational fear go, tell anxiety you are the one in control and not the other way around. All will be fine, I'm sure.
  14. Holls

    Constant need for excitement?

    Hi. I mainly have healthy anxiety but just anxious in general as well. Now as for me personally, I don't like excitement or surprises. I like the same routine every day. Change in routine makes me anxious. I don't think your husband's need for excitement is caused by anxiety it's probably just his personality. Like my husband has zero anxiety and is always doing out of the blue things like trips and special dinners etc.. it makes me extremely anxious and a little upset Bec I've told him time and time again I hate surprises.. but I try to meet him half way.. give a little, get a little. Have you talked to him about how this makes you feel? I could see how that could effect you. Hugs.
  15. A couple years ago, we discovered a raccoon had been pooping under our deck. We had the deck removed, and that's how we discovered it. Raccoon poop carries a horrid little roundworm that is highly destructive if you swallow like a hunk of it. We had a 2 year old at the time, so I didn't want to take chances. I cleaned the area like a mo-fo, lol. Use a proposal torch and boiling water, as recommended by the CDC. Fast forward to now- over the years, that area ended up being a storage area, My husband would throw random crap in there. I finally decided to clean it up once and for all this summer.It had a few deck boards left, a firepit, a shovel, a ball. Before I was satisfied with my cleaning, my husband decided to make a fire and he put the firepit on the grass. NOw, I had cleaned the firepit off with the boiling water and torch, but I didn't feel it was ready. I have been absolutely freaked ever since and haven't moved the firepit from the spot, afraid to let my kids run over the area. If anything, there would just be little grains falling off the pit if anything, but my brain is just screaming that my whole yard is contaminated. Then, yesterday, I wrapped up the last deck board and put it on my driveway for trash. I have to call a hauling service and preferred that no one goes back there. Well, when I came home today, I couldn't tell if some dirt had fallen out of the wrapping. It could have, or it could have been grains already there. BUt now, I am freaked about my driveway too (I guess I can clean it to my satisfaction with a propane torch, my god!) My family is on a little trip and they are coming back tomorrow. I need to be better by then. Please help me. Do you think my fears are warranted, or that this is an OCD thing entirely? I mean, I did clean it up a long time ago, the firepit never touched the poop, just the soil that had been cleaned. Deckboards- I don't know; the one I'm worried about I don't think was ever near where the poop was. I am so unsure about this. I have no perspective at all. My husband gets really mad at me, and I wanted to have put the firepit away and be okay with the yard. I don't know how, and don't even know if I should be. My daughter does still touch everything and will put random things in her mouth- but not dirt. Plus we could track it all over on our shoes CRap!
  16. Holls

    Benzo usage and wanting to reduce my dosage

    You are awesome and I hate that you have anxiety but you are apart of our little community here. Hugs. You got this
  17. Ethansmom

    Benzo usage and wanting to reduce my dosage

    Holls, Thank you so much for replying and for being so sweet and supportive. You are right. I need to do what's best for me (whatever that might be).
  18. Holls

    Benzo usage and wanting to reduce my dosage

    I am not on any medication but I think letting your Dr know that you want to tapper off and keeping close contact with her on your journey will help with peace of mind for you. Knowing you have back up and appts scheduled to talk about how you are feeling etc.. hugs. Do what's best for you and you will be fine.
  19. My benzo use story is very long, so I'll spare you ALL the details. But, it started when I tried an antidepressant which made me experience my first ever panic attack. My psychiatric nurse at the time prescribed .5MG of Xanax, which used to be very strong for me and would knock out the slightest bit of panic/anxiety. Now it doesn't help much (it depends on the generic actually). Now that I know how horrible panic attacks feel---every twinge, shortness of breath, slight bit of dizziness, skipped heartbeat, anxious thoughts, etc trigger an attack. I NEVER should have started an SSRI/SNRI and wish I could have just found a great therapist (like I have now) to continue on with CBT. Unfortunately, I am now quite dependent on Klonopin- 2MG daily. I am sick of depending on these things. Some people say they cause dementia when taken long term. Some say they are safe at low dosages. Is 2MG a lot? I think it's a moderately high dose, right? Today I have decided NOT to let anxiety or panic ruin my life. I want to cut down on klonopin. Even cutting my dosage by half would make me feel better. The thing is... I have to replace the klonopin with other healthier things...like exercise, meditation, eating healthy, cutting out caffeine--- and most of all using thought stopping and cognitive behavioral therapy. I also need to ACCEPT what is happening rather than running from them. Anyone here on long term benzos??? or any positive stories about stopping? I have decided to start to wean of Klonopin. I know it's caused weight gain, and i'm ready to see how i'll do with out it. If I start to go crazy i'll jump right back on it. Today I started with taking off a sliver of 1MG. I want to go slowly. My friend had no issues going off of it and it took a year to wean. Does anyone know if they prescribe anything while weaning off? I do see my therapist on Wednesday and my doctor on Monday so i'll definitely seek advice there.
  20. bin_tenn

    Feel puffy

    I also feel that way occasionally. My uncle has told me before that it likely has to do with circulation. Not a *problem*, just normal circulation. I often get it when I've walked for a long period of time. My legs/feet feel swollen, but they aren't. Same with my arms/hands.
  21. bin_tenn

    Hi Guys. Need your support.

    LoL! Fun times, huh? 😛 Sounds like you have a good family, and your dad has a great support system. That is awesome. Please keep us informed on how he's doing.
  22. bin_tenn

    I have a funny story...

    I am also an intelligent person. My brain is a sponge, and I absorb information quickly, and long term. I'm a software engineer by profession, which also requires a ton of attention to detail, critical thinking, etc. Still, I often fail to use those skills when it comes to health. I understand, and it's not abnormal for us.
  23. bin_tenn

    Acid Reflux Threaddd

    I have also always had that feeling. It's normal. No reason to worry.
  24. Shanowl80

    Clonazepam on backorder

    It’s sad that I have no idea what I was taking before. It was yellow is all I remember.
  25. PennyPanic

    Feel puffy

    Yes...especially right before my cycle and/or when it's super hot out.
  26. Holls

    Feel puffy

    Yes!!! I feel like that a few times a month.
  27. AnneBoleyn

    Feel puffy

    Anyone ever feel like they feel puffy? I’m not noticeably swollen but I feel like I’m retaking water
  28. Mason84

    Hi Guys. Need your support.

    Hahaha thats funny. My mom does that on our side.
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