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"I've been feeling sick all week."

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It's five days before Christmas and that has always been my biggest trigger as far as holidays are concerned. I did not do particularly well at Thanksgiving this year and I am struggling through a bout of depression right now, so I'm not really at peak coping skills right now.

I think I need to re-read and take notes on some passages in the Panic Attacks Workbook.

I'm too tired of fighting the depression and anxiety this week to say anything else - just that it's there, I know it's a lie, and I'm having a hard time remembering that in the moment. I just want to go back to bed until the holidays are over, or shut everyone out of my life so that no one ever expects me to leave the house and I can just stay in my safe little bubble.

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A lot of what was stressing me out when I wrote that yesterday was my rabbit needing to go to the vet. I didn't know how long I'd be there or what they would tell me about her health, so that was stressing me out, and then I had to go immediately from the vet appointment, home to drop her off, and then out to dinner with my dad.

I told myself I could cancel dinner if I needed to and got through the vet appointment by promising I could spend the rest of the evening wrapped up in a blanket on the couch if that's what it took to feel okay. That worked to get me through it and I did my best to remember the advice I read in the workbook, then by the time we were done at the vet, I was feeling a little more capable of getting through my day. I went to dinner after all, and even went to Target afterward so we could get coffee and my dad could people-watch (one of his favorite things, and something I absolutely hate when the stores are crowded for the holidays).

I still had a pretty bad night as far as mental health goes - I've been depressed about losing my other rabbit - but I'm proud of myself for getting through all my tasks for the day and not letting anxiety get the better of me.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will be more opportunities for anxiety to rear its ugly head, but I've gotten through 100% of the stressful events that I was faced with since I joined this forum/started actively working on my anxiety, and I'm going to get through those, too.

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