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In the midst

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I’llbefineintheend

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I am currently in the middle of an anxiety day. 

Last night I had a few drinks, got a bit tipsy at a friends house whilst looking after a his sisters birthday party. We had a lovely time. His parents are welcoming and I’ve met them many times. They took us out for tea during the day, I felt fine. This morning I’ve been very tired and my friends parents took us out for lunch. Somewhere I’d never been and that seems to be somewhat of an anxiety trigger for me. I could feel my tingles over my body, I began catching my breath, finding it hard to swallow and losing my concentration. I didn’t eat much and I was anxious to leave. 

I felt awful because I was having a nice time, i was being treated. I’m now in the train back home with my two friends and I am just so tired, my tummy keeps hurting and I’m just not with it. 

Im frustrated. I haven’t had anything for a little while. And I was proactive this week and went to see a counsellor, who made me feel welcome. 

I want to put it down to being tired, my body isn’t isn’t in its best state and it’s showing. That’s what I want it too be. Whether it is that or not remains to be answered. 

For now I’m going to keep as calm as I can on this hurtling train, think of Home, think of my safe space and breathe. 

Best wishes to you all,

I’llbefineintheend

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