So I’ve been back at university for a week now and it’s been very different. I do an acting degree which is possibly the most emotionally/physically diverse course you can think of. I am in my third year so they have turned up the heat. Last week I was in 9 hours everyday and was not even home in the evenings because I had assessment and social engagements. Lord almighty I was busy.
Things slipped. I didn’t do my washing up, tidy my room, wash my clothes and I cried at the end of the second day back because I foresaw the next ten weeks as being as stressful as my first two days.
I’m now in my second week back and the flow has already changed. Today I had a half day and tomorrow I have off. How amazing.
This weekend I tidied my room and did all my washing and even took up crochet, a leisure activity I hope will help in my thinky thinky times I sometimes have that stop me sleeping.
Ive done some really positive things despite my stress, including contacting my university council long service because I realise, even though I feel like I’m entering a good space right now, ignoring the bad moments that have happened will only suppress them. Even if I feel good, I need explanation for the bad times.
Im also finding new dynamics in my relationships with people. I realise I won’t be able to see my boyfriend heeps this term because I have a full timetable but I’ve made it a positive, I normal have trouble sleeping without him because my brain starts wandering but I want to use these opportunities to train myself out of that. I’ve been spending quality time with my housemates, playing board games and having a drink which makes me feel secure in our home. I’ve been honest and sharing with my parents which makes me feel better about the fragile states I sometimes get in to.
I do feel positive now and I’ll enjoy it, for as long as I can. I never plan to fall back into the hole but the next time I do, I hope I read back on this post and remember that good times can be had and I appreciated this moment in my life right now.
Best health and happiness to you all,