January 2012. The past year has been eventful to say the least. Met some amazing people, had some bad times, some great times, some frustrating times but lots of laughs too. And now I find myself in charge of a site. Just how did that happen? lol It's never been my intention. I love to help people, in helping people, I help myself. I've said in the past, if it came down to it, I would be willing to do something. I guess I didn't really think it would happen, but here we are!
It's a shame th
Why should one make a blog?
There are a number of reasons to why making a blog is great, the advantages are:
1 - Relieves Stress
2 - Can help others
3 - Preach what YOU care about
4 - You have control
5 - It can actually turn into a business (like Cake Wrecks).
There are a couple of disadvantages though:
1- Research, can take up time and not always be correct, always double check.
2 - People may read what you see as light hearted chat as to be someth
2016 april.. The moment when shes gone, only regrets that sticks in my head and i always imagine if my mom is still here. My days are rough, when i open my eyes what i feel is hard to breathe and strange dizziness at the back of my head near my neck. When i closed my eyes in the end of the day, i still feel that. This symptom started when my mother died.
I can't tell to anyone what i feel , when I'm angry i always stay silent, when I feel someone underestimated me I stay silent, because I
I feel guilt. I feel responsibility.
Christmas Day 2014 my nephew was very unwell. He would not eat, he had restless sleeps, his temperature was high and when I held him, trying to comfort him, I could feel his heart pounding like a drum. I knew that was not right. But he had a throat infection and bad cold, Like he did the year before, surely it would be fine.
Boxing Day 2014 approximately 9pm he passed away.
I knew that he was not alright.
In my gut I felt something was
It's five days before Christmas and that has always been my biggest trigger as far as holidays are concerned. I did not do particularly well at Thanksgiving this year and I am struggling through a bout of depression right now, so I'm not really at peak coping skills right now.
I think I need to re-read and take notes on some passages in the Panic Attacks Workbook.
I'm too tired of fighting the depression and anxiety this week to say anything else - just that it's there, I know it's a l
I'm frustrated with my husband again today - don't they say that it's the ones you're closest to that you're the hardest on?
He really doesn't ask a lot from me when it comes to leaving the house and doing things (his job is exhausting and his commute is long, which makes him more than happy to watch TV most nights and probably enables me to be a home-body, too). When he does ask me to do things with him, it's easier for me to say, "No, I don't feel like it," than it is to do that with othe
I've been doing pretty well for my last couple of "adventures," didn't even need a blog entry about them. I finished the Panic Attacks Workbook and implemented an exposure therapy plan, although I have to admit that it's still pretty daunting and I keep thinking ahead - instead of, "I can handle a 5-minute car ride around the block," my mind is automatically jumping to, "A 30-minute car ride with no Dramamine would definitely cause me to vomit. I can't do that."
Earlier this week, I agreed
I've got an appointment at the Apple Store this morning in about 2 hours to get my laptop repaired and I think it's time for another episode of Adventures in Leaving the House. These seem to be helping.
I've had panic attacks at the Apple Store before because of how crowded it is and how much waiting is involved, plus it's just far enough away from my house to be outside my comfort zone. The last two times I went (back in August), I stayed and successfully worked through my panic, so I'm su
It helped the other day when I talked through my fear of going to Best Buy, so I'm going to try it again for today's outing.
A little background:
I have panic disorder and I regularly avoid situations in which I feel trapped. Any type of theater or audience situation - from a movie theater to a classroom to live theater - triggers that sensation for me, and I've been at varying degrees of anticipatory panic for about a week, ever since my mother-in-law bought me a ticket to see the bal
For the last couple of years, I've been screaming my anxiety fears into the Tumblr void and it's not helping anyone - talking to myself just makes me feel more alone and broadcasting my darkest fears only makes them seem bigger. So I thought I'd try writing here instead, and making sure to frame my thoughts in a positive, recovery-centered way.
I just started working through the Panic Attack Workbook by David Carbonell because I found his website and was blown away by how much I felt like h
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It’s been a while since I wrote on here. I’ve avoided it. There have been plenty of times in the last few months when I could have written down my experiences.
I had a horrible, drawn out experience of getting a job and a flat when my uni course ended. It caused me countless sleepless nights, night terrors and bad habits.
I don’t know why I avoided this space. I chose it because it’s not mainstream. But this isn’t a big forum and there is that part of me that wants huge amounts of s
Tonight I am lying awake. I have been trying to get to sleep for four hours. I’m home from uni for Easter and Home is the complete opposite of my uni home. My uni house is quiet, very little noise, no loud bangs, shouting or anything disturbing. But Home, there is always noise, the washer, the dryer, my mum pottering, my brother screeching, the tv on too loud and do NOT get me wrong. I love my family, I love Home. But going from one extreme to another does something to a girl.
Too much noi
Sometimes I weep. Sometimes I just cry my eyes out, thinking of a million different things, not knowing the real cause except whatever it is, is making me cry, silent hot droplets down my face. Weeping.
Most of the time I’ll be thinking about my nephew who passed away. Other popular mind topics are dying. My health. My family and friends. My future. Did I mention dying?
Recuring topics that will always be there, they will never go away and sometimes. When the stars aline, the thought
I am currently in the middle of an anxiety day.
Last night I had a few drinks, got a bit tipsy at a friends house whilst looking after a his sisters birthday party. We had a lovely time. His parents are welcoming and I’ve met them many times. They took us out for tea during the day, I felt fine. This morning I’ve been very tired and my friends parents took us out for lunch. Somewhere I’d never been and that seems to be somewhat of an anxiety trigger for me. I could feel my tingles over my
I can feel myself fraying again. And it is to do with my boyfriend.
I know he would never do anything to hurt me. On purpose. I am a sensitive person, hyper sensitive so the smallest of things can get to me and I have to remember that constantly.
For example, last night I finished a show and it was the end of a 4 week long process and I was tired and I wanted to get home because I wanted to get in bed and I hoped there would be a chance that my boyfriend would be back from work and w
So I’ve been back at university for a week now and it’s been very different. I do an acting degree which is possibly the most emotionally/physically diverse course you can think of. I am in my third year so they have turned up the heat. Last week I was in 9 hours everyday and was not even home in the evenings because I had assessment and social engagements. Lord almighty I was busy.
Things slipped. I didn’t do my washing up, tidy my room, wash my clothes and I cried at the end of the secon